Finalcall

As time passed since the last time we drink the memories of why we quit become more distant. How do you all keep the truth at the forefront of your memories?

doggonecarl

You don't have to remember why you quit. You only have to remember you don't drink anymore. Period.

C0ntr0ls

I just run past experiences back through my head and unfortunately there are relapse threads that I read to remind me again.

FYI - I hate the relapse threads but use them as a learning tool.

MantaLady

Get a couple of pieces of paper and on one write down all the examples and times in the past when a drink helped, I mean really helped to make the situation better. Then on the other write down all the examples and times it didn’t help, didn’t change things for the better.

For me I would have one blank page and one very full one which would tell me all I needed to know. x

SoberRican

For me its the memory of the last withdrawal I had 222 days ago. Enough said. For me. ✌

ciowa

What i do is to remind myself of what happens after the party ends and Im still drinking by myself. If I think about my time at a bar I do remember the bar experience as being fun but then I have to remember that I went home and continued drinking way beyond any of my control or desire, woke up feeling very bad with a lot of pieces to pick up due to my drinking.

Lucinda2

Love this!

Lucinda2

I don't have much to add to this, Finalcall.

If I hang onto anything it is the 3am self-loathing. No big dramas or rock bottom stories here but waking up with the 3am self-loathing was the pits and I am glad that I don't ever have to do that again. Sometimes it is more situational. Right now I am visiting family overseas. There have been moments when I have felt a little tempted and then I remind myself that last time I was in this situation I did drink, lost my off button for pretty much the duration and felt very ashamed of myself after.

Mainly though I just do as Doggonecarl and remind myself that I am not a drinker. That is enough.

Are you okay there today Finalcall?

daisy1

For me I tell myself what's the point? Because one drink/one binge to make myself feel 'better' or whatever is never enough, it would make any cravings a million times worse for a long time, IF I managed to ever stop...

faith823

This is my sentiment EXACTLY

August252015

Yep. I only "remember" drinking stuff when something like a memory or a bad dream pops up. But I put it aside quickly.

I've never really "clicked" with the methods of writing down cons or such. It seems like "negative reinforcement" to me- I prefer the learned habit of "I get to [ ]" v any version of "can't" or what happened when I drank. It's just much more positive, and reflective of the now as Carl said.

Also, nothing good happened in the end so (paging least!) being grateful for even the most banal things in my life keeps me in that now and the freedom and hope of my present life.

A quick out loud list of 5 things I am grateful for helps me when agitated in traffic, in some kinda mood at home, irrationally irritated by something stupid...or just having a good morning and needing an extra plus!

Oh! (and this in an after thought and edit) I should remember to turn to others who still struggle with consequences and the madness of their ongoing drinking. If I can help in some way, that's plenty to remind me of why I don't and won't drink again.

brighterday1234

ScottFromWI

For me, spending time here on SR daily is a great reminder. Just like any recovery community, you will find people in every possible stage of recovery - from still actively drinking to many decades sober, and every point in-between. I learn something new every day that makes me think about not only my past, but what I can do today to help myself.

MLD51

For me, when I'm needing a reminder, I hit up a meeting. It never fails to remind me why I got sober, and it gives me the opportunity to reinforce the IRL connections I have made with other recovering people. Pretty much every meeting I go to, there's someone telling a story I relate to, that reminds me of my own past. And at the same time, I hear the positive stories of peoples' successes. I try to share something positive when I speak at meetings. Sometimes it's a challenge, but it does get me thinking of all that I have to be grateful for. And helping someone else to see the good things that happen in recovery is the best thing I have found to shore up my own recovery, at 5 years in.

nez

Compete honesty does it for me and doesn't take any effort on my part. I am an alcoholic.

Callas

It’s the withdrawal that is the best reminder. No can do.

CRRHCC

My .02$: All you need to do to change your substance use is believe it’ll genuinely be worth changing. You need to believe that a change offers you the chance of greater happiness, and you will then persist on this new path if you believe it’s a viable possibility. Building this new preference starts the same way you built the old preference. You learned that getting drunk made you feel better for the moment, you escaped the helplessness trap with quick fixes and mood changers of chemicals. Now unlearn this by being curious and aware of your feelings, face them, don’t become them. You are made in the image and likeness of God. Learn to connect with something greater than excitement: Regain control with the joy of a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

Where attention goes, neuro-firing flows and neuroconnection grows!

"Don't be conformed to this world, be transformed with new thinking."

HeadEast

Thanks Finalcall and everyone else that answered. I've been thinking about all of this recently.

Derringer

There are better and more constructive ways to change the way I feel.

That is all booze does. Changes how I feel.

Nothing actually happens in the physical world.

least

The only thing I do is to know in my heart that I want to be sober more than I might want to drink.