Velvet morning
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Uk
Posts: 564
Velvet morning
So I'm back...... been a ****** up couple of months, let's get real. It isn't easy. I've been doing everything right
But the. Pull to oblivion is greater . Let's the the deal out there. Man ive eaten healthy, I've Exercised, I've prayed I've done it all. I've done AA so whhat now ? I can take a all of your "so called remedy" yess I want to stop but how
But the. Pull to oblivion is greater . Let's the the deal out there. Man ive eaten healthy, I've Exercised, I've prayed I've done it all. I've done AA so whhat now ? I can take a all of your "so called remedy" yess I want to stop but how
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
I’m confused. Are you drinking now?
You obviously want sobriety or you wouldn’t be here. You CAN do this, you just have to want to be sober more than you want to drink. Then you need to dig in your heels and refuse to listen to that lying voice inside your head that’s telling you to keep drinking. That’s not the real you. The real you is on SR crying out for help. Ignore the lying voice long enough and you’ll barely be able to hear it anymore. You can do this. Start NOW. It can all be over the second you say ENOUGH! I believe in you! You’re here. You want it. Now let’s do this already!
You obviously want sobriety or you wouldn’t be here. You CAN do this, you just have to want to be sober more than you want to drink. Then you need to dig in your heels and refuse to listen to that lying voice inside your head that’s telling you to keep drinking. That’s not the real you. The real you is on SR crying out for help. Ignore the lying voice long enough and you’ll barely be able to hear it anymore. You can do this. Start NOW. It can all be over the second you say ENOUGH! I believe in you! You’re here. You want it. Now let’s do this already!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hey Doris
I'm sorry you're struggling.
It too me a long time to feel the pull to sobriety more than that pull top oblivion. That's where places like SR really help.
I needed that support on the sobriety side daily, or more than daily until I knew not only could I stay in recovery but I deserved to be sober.
I don't remember how long you went to AA for or if you did the steps but you could always try that again, or something different like SMART or lifering.
Anything is worth trying, other than drinking, yeah?
D
I'm sorry you're struggling.
It too me a long time to feel the pull to sobriety more than that pull top oblivion. That's where places like SR really help.
I needed that support on the sobriety side daily, or more than daily until I knew not only could I stay in recovery but I deserved to be sober.
I don't remember how long you went to AA for or if you did the steps but you could always try that again, or something different like SMART or lifering.
Anything is worth trying, other than drinking, yeah?
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 533
Hi Doris,
You know sometimes I would "relapse" just as an emotonal release
Im finding other ways to deal now.
You can start fresh. Every day's a new day.
Dont let the lying voice in your head tell you anything different.
No one needs to live with guilt and condemnation.
Forgive yourself, drink water, go to bed
You know sometimes I would "relapse" just as an emotonal release
Im finding other ways to deal now.
You can start fresh. Every day's a new day.
Dont let the lying voice in your head tell you anything different.
No one needs to live with guilt and condemnation.
Forgive yourself, drink water, go to bed
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
Hi Doris, glad that you are here.
You say you have done AA, but I am not sure what exactly you mean by that. Could you elaborate a little please? Although actually now that I think about it, I probably would have said the same thing at one time, "I have done AA but I can't stay sober!!!" What I would have meant was that I went to meetings and read the big book and still drank even after all that! What I didn't do... was the 12 steps. Since doing the steps, the obsession with alcohol has been removed and I haven't had a drink in over 16 years.
For me, it was like I had every intention of driving from California to Florida. I went out to the garage. Got into my car. Started it up... but some reason a year later I still wasn't in Florida yet... I was still in the garage because I never put the car in gear...I had to work the steps of AA to get the results I wanted.
But that is enough about me. Tell us more about your experiences at stopping. What plans have you made? What actions have you taken to bring those plans to fruition. Do you have any support? What do you do when the urge to drink hits?
You say you have done AA, but I am not sure what exactly you mean by that. Could you elaborate a little please? Although actually now that I think about it, I probably would have said the same thing at one time, "I have done AA but I can't stay sober!!!" What I would have meant was that I went to meetings and read the big book and still drank even after all that! What I didn't do... was the 12 steps. Since doing the steps, the obsession with alcohol has been removed and I haven't had a drink in over 16 years.
For me, it was like I had every intention of driving from California to Florida. I went out to the garage. Got into my car. Started it up... but some reason a year later I still wasn't in Florida yet... I was still in the garage because I never put the car in gear...I had to work the steps of AA to get the results I wanted.
But that is enough about me. Tell us more about your experiences at stopping. What plans have you made? What actions have you taken to bring those plans to fruition. Do you have any support? What do you do when the urge to drink hits?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,668
Doris- recovery for me is all aspects of my life- not just the booze bit. Everything. If stuff feels as it is not working, try thinking outside the normal conventions of thinking and develop new strategies. They may seem laboriously slow, too much hard work, but they can pay off. For me it was finding a correct antidepressant and vigilant , honest working with my GP, therapy wise with psychologists- CBT and ACT, journal writing, art, exercise, volunteering, online courses that deal with anxiety and depression (I was a subject in research projects- three, all very good- all free), getting out of my comfort zone (which is not hard to do).
Support to you.
Support to you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 1,327
Velvet Morning by the Verve? Great tune but alas we are no longer permitted to drink and listen to such things. I find running with carefully formulated indie rock playlists can be of help.
And yes I do remember you, it was going well, you went back to work and...
Well I hope you make it back okay
And yes I do remember you, it was going well, you went back to work and...
Well I hope you make it back okay
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
Being sober, staying stopped, and learning to live a sober life aren't easy things to do, but if we want it badly enough, we will go after it. AA is not something we do once, we keep doing it. Each sponsor works a bit differently, but the end results, when done with thorough honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness, does work. Try again or try SMART, Women for Sobriety, SOS, Life Ring.....there are many programs available. Glad to see you on SR, Doris!!
Love and hugs,
~SB
Love and hugs,
~SB
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 743
I think I had 2 or 3 weeks of meetings and sobriety when I chose a sponsor. I was going to 6 meetings a week right off the bat. My lawyer suggested 7 but it was the best I could do. My sponsor had just gotten a 10 year chip but that's not why I picked him. I picked him because he had similar patterns of drinking and drugging. Similar background, upbringing. Someone I could relate to even though we were different people, different professional skill sets, strengths, weaknesses.
I had to call him everyday for the first 90 days. I let him know exactly where I was at with my cravings each day. Some days were easy and others I really felt like drinking and I let him know. We talked about how he got sober, went through similar cravings. How to think the drink through. We even got into old drinking and drugging stories and laughed about how crazy we must of been. Concluded those times really ended up sucking, they always ended in anxiety, headaches, paranoia, restlessness. From speaking with my sponsor each day I realized each day it was good to be sober.
Every week we met and worked the steps. a sponsor is like a guide or a teacher. It's good to have a sponsor that goes even further along in the steps than you would in a typical meeting. Instead of bits and pieces of everyone's experience in a meeting a sponsor can go over every detail of the steps personally with you. They can see where your at with each step and offer what they did and how they did each step. Like a personal coach or trainer. A sponsor can really help you get well rooted in early sobriety.
I had to call him everyday for the first 90 days. I let him know exactly where I was at with my cravings each day. Some days were easy and others I really felt like drinking and I let him know. We talked about how he got sober, went through similar cravings. How to think the drink through. We even got into old drinking and drugging stories and laughed about how crazy we must of been. Concluded those times really ended up sucking, they always ended in anxiety, headaches, paranoia, restlessness. From speaking with my sponsor each day I realized each day it was good to be sober.
Every week we met and worked the steps. a sponsor is like a guide or a teacher. It's good to have a sponsor that goes even further along in the steps than you would in a typical meeting. Instead of bits and pieces of everyone's experience in a meeting a sponsor can go over every detail of the steps personally with you. They can see where your at with each step and offer what they did and how they did each step. Like a personal coach or trainer. A sponsor can really help you get well rooted in early sobriety.
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