It's been a long time but I'm here. Again. Day 4.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Southern Cali
Posts: 1,356
It's been a long time but I'm here. Again. Day 4.
Wow I havent been on here for a while and I must join this class and try this site again....So I recently relapsed after going 3 months. I'm a bender drinker and can usually go for a while no problem drinking ..but alot of the times when I do in turns into several days of just drinking..then withdrawals. This is the longest ive went in a long time but im just feelin blah on Day 3.. I always feel safe posting that here. I can use all the good vibes possible because life has just been heart lately. I lost my father in Feb after years of being his caretaker. And I've been my Moms since then because she is going through cancer treatment as well and as a result of treatment she also was diagnosed diabetic type 1. It's a super rare side effect and of course she got it. It hasn't been easy and I've reaching out for positive thoughts because lately I've been depressed and also pissed at myself for relapsing again. I lost my phone during this time too so now I gotta start all over. I'm also just not feeling great still on top of it all. Sorry for the Novel.. I just needed to vent somewhere. And this is one of very few places I feel safe doing it. Please send positive thoughts and prayers if you pray for my family. This is such an awesome group. Hope u all have a great day. 💙💚
(Ps typed this all on an iPad. Talk about patience haha)
You're right though, you're safe here and welcome back Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 1,486
Glad you're back! So sorry for your loss and your mom's health problems😔 best you can do is take care of yourself so you can be there for her and for yourself,big hugs to you and I like your user name🤗
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
I am on day 17 CNGY. Still very new at this. First time I've been sober that long in 30+ years. Good thing about SR is that collectively the community has done it all - been sober for decades, relapsed after decades sober, slipped, thrived, lived to the fullest, failed and died. There is no judgment on this site that I have seen and it is indeed a safe place. Keep on telling your story on here because it is an important story told by a person who matters.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Boston MA
Posts: 726
I am so glad you are back. I lost my phone plenty of times, not fun. I am glad that you are sober today. You will physically feel better every day. I will send positive thoughts your way and prayers for your Mom. I am sure when you are Sober and able to care for her means the world to her. Let go of being pissed. You are back and going forward now. I am on day 41 and we both have been given another chance to march on. The only think I can control is this given moment and we are both sober in this given moment. I am so grateful for that I was struggling earlier and I would of been in an awful place at this given moment if I drank.
xo rooting for you
xo rooting for you
I hope we can help you get sober for good. 
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 452
Originally Posted by CuteNGayYay 
Wow I havent been on here for a while and I must join this class and try this site again....So I recently relapsed after going 3 months. I'm a bender drinker and can usually go for a while no problem drinking ..but alot of the times when I do in turns into several days of just drinking..then withdrawals. This is the longest ive went in a long time but im just feelin blah on Day 3.. I always feel safe posting that here. I can use all the good vibes possible because life has just been heart lately. I lost my father in Feb after years of being his caretaker. And I've been my Moms since then because she is going through cancer treatment as well and as a result of treatment she also was diagnosed diabetic type 1. It's a super rare side effect and of course she got it. It hasn't been easy and I've reaching out for positive thoughts because lately I've been depressed and also pissed at myself for relapsing again. I lost my phone during this time too so now I gotta start all over. I'm also just not feeling great still on top of it all. Sorry for the Novel.. I just needed to vent somewhere. And this is one of very few places I feel safe doing it. Please send positive thoughts and prayers if you pray for my family. This is such an awesome group. Hope u all have a great day. 💙💚
(Ps typed this all on an iPad. Talk about patience haha)
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Southern Cali
Posts: 1,356
Originally Posted by faith823
I am so glad you are back. I lost my phone plenty of times, not fun. I am glad that you are sober today. You will physically feel better every day. I will send positive thoughts your way and prayers for your Mom. I am sure when you are Sober and able to care for her means the world to her. Let go of being pissed. You are back and going forward now. I am on day 41 and we both have been given another chance to march on. The only think I can control is this given moment and we are both sober in this given moment. I am so grateful for that I was struggling earlier and I would of been in an awful place at this given moment if I drank.
xo rooting for you
xo rooting for you
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Southern Cali
Posts: 1,356
Originally Posted by b0glerd69
Good to see you back. Sorry about your mum, that is tough, my wife is going through similar cancer treatment, too. Funny you mentioning your phone, one time when I was on a Friday night session, I lost my phone and I had only got it brand new that day! I hope you can stop drinking and get back to sobriety. I think it would be so much better for your mum and for you. All the best.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,228
Hi!
I am very sad for you, CAGY. My deepest condolences on the loss of your father. You are doing great. Be gentle with yourself. You are obviously keeping it together enough to care for your mother and (mostly) yourself.
I can relate to what you wrote. I feel really worthless and wracked with guilt after relapsing. But, I am trying to reinforce the idea that guilt is appropriate and shame is not. Guilt can be a good motivator, but shame will only feed the cycle. You are terrific! You are here and fighting this, which is amazing.
We are all in this together. I am so glad to be back on SR again, too. See you in the December Class!
I am very sad for you, CAGY. My deepest condolences on the loss of your father. You are doing great. Be gentle with yourself. You are obviously keeping it together enough to care for your mother and (mostly) yourself.
I can relate to what you wrote. I feel really worthless and wracked with guilt after relapsing. But, I am trying to reinforce the idea that guilt is appropriate and shame is not. Guilt can be a good motivator, but shame will only feed the cycle. You are terrific! You are here and fighting this, which is amazing.
We are all in this together. I am so glad to be back on SR again, too. See you in the December Class!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Welcome back CAGY! I’m sorry about the loss of your dad, I know how difficult it is to lose a parent. I’m sure your mom is very grateful to have your support, and getting sober for good would be a great gift for you and for her.
Looking forward to seeing you on here again!
❤️Delilah
Looking forward to seeing you on here again!
❤️Delilah
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 689
Don't know you CAGY since I only joined SR 6 months ago but I appreciated your heartfelt and honest post. You've had a tough time. Hope your posting here this time marks the turning point for you. And I hope you keep on posting.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 8,335
Condolences on the loss of your father, losing a parent is a significant. Try to fit in some self care, while taking care of your Mom.
I like what Pouncer said about feeling guilt but not shame. Recently I'm reframing some of my thinking, trying to not feel guilt, but instead feeling sad.....feeling sad rather then guilty.
Nice to see you back
I like what Pouncer said about feeling guilt but not shame. Recently I'm reframing some of my thinking, trying to not feel guilt, but instead feeling sad.....feeling sad rather then guilty.
Nice to see you back
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