sadforldr7

I presented to the ER last night with transient abdominal pain that began radiating to my back. Since stopping drinking, I have had intermittent symptoms that didn't appear to be acute, but after 7 lbs weight loss in 52 days and the pain, I decided I could not take the risk. I was diagnosed with gastritis...likely caused by extreme anxiety and binging on alcohol. My bloodwork showed no concerns whatsoever with blood sugar, kidney, pancreas, kidney or liver or infection and clotting concerns. I was 100% certain that I was to receive opposite news. The doctor opted for no scans as my liver function tests, lipase/pancreas and kidney markers showed no elevated signs of recent or acute damage.

I watched people sign into the ER realizing that most are likely not waiting in terror that they irreversibly damaged their bodies by their alcoholism.

My anxiety has fueled the bulk of my heavy drinking and binging for almost two decades. For whatever reason, in this past 10 months, my health anxiety has sky rocketed to a point where its impacting my life. I believe it's related to a unexpected losses and diagnoses of a few good friends (in their 40's) due to cancer, my mother's auto immune diagnoses and related health problems, as well as a few personal health scares that have led to countless vials of blood drawn, MRIs and awaiting doctors calls. The past three years have been full of either receiving bad news related to someone I love and their health, or waiting on results of my own.

My last 18 month period of abstinence simply felt like a pause, no long term plan on managing my anxiety nor recovery.

This time, it feels different on a fundamental level. Not only from the perspective of my health, but on a spiritual level. My drinking has robbed so much goodness from me and I've allowed it for far too long. I have felt awful about myself for 20 years or so.

I am 42 years old. I may get another 40 on this planet if I am very very lucky.

I cannot live this way anymore. It's time for this change to be permanent.

Atlast9999

sadforldr7

Thank you Atlas...anxiety is pure hell, I'm looking forward to a point where it's not all consuming. I know I have to take some action in that area of my life, the first step being sober.

Glad you are here too.

cantsleep123

Yes drinking has made my anxiety go from bothersome to crippling. It was the final straw that made me decide to quit.

August252015

Proud of you!! And I get it - I had pushed my body as far as I could when it finally got thru my thick skull that it was quit or die.

I was 39 when that happened - you can do this and indeed live the rest of your years as healthy as us sober people getting old can do!

ClarkGrizwold

Hey bud, just keep doing it one day at a time. I also drank for a little over 23 years and I thought for sure I hade fe'd something up. My anxiety has been crazy my entire life and it doubled when I stopped drinking. Its been 117 days and I must say my anxiety has calmed down and it is not as frequent. Alcoholism is a crazy ass disease and it comes with many lowes and not so many highs. I am now 40 years old and I can say that I will live to see another day. 117 days ago I didn't think I was going to live, now I am livin and its great.

NeedRest

ClarkGrizwold

Hey, I keep a log on my computer and I put every thought in it almost every day, I love going back and reading what I was going through I have memory problems from drinking so this helps keep track of things. Give it a try!!!

sadforldr7

I felt for a long time tethered to the drinking, the obsession with not being able to enjoy social outings or dinner without it. The feeling for a long time that it was the only thing that could soothe me and my worries. The picking up not just one bottle of wine, but two because one was never enough. I feel freer even at only 52 days since I've decided to lift that heavy burden from my shoulders.

I have work to do in dealing with my anxiety and other issues, but I'm grateful today to be sober.

Thank you all for responding, glad weve decided to start now and change our lives. Hoping we all get stronger and feel better about our lives in days to come.

Grateful for SR...I don't know how else I would have gotten through the last 7+ weeks.

PhoenixJ

Well done

Dee74

I'm glad you went to the ER and very glad that by and large the news was good sadforldr7.

I hope you can put you fears aside now and embrace the sober life

D

sadforldr7

Thanks...I have a lot of work to do on my anxiety, but at least I have a better perspective to move forward.

faith823

Hi,
I am so happy that your blood work came back ok. Maybe this can give you a better peace of mind. Less anxious. I am very anxious as well. Brisk walks help.
The effects of the residual of alcohol in my veins after abusing it . Made my anxiousness/stomach in knots/doom/no soul/ sick to my stomach- the worst this summer. I got alot from your post.
Especially


This time, it feels different on a fundamental level. Not only from the perspective of my health, but on a spiritual level. My drinking has robbed so much goodness from me and I've allowed it for far too long. I have felt awful about myself for 20 years or so.


The word "ROBBED" and SPIRITUAL level. I think just having some faith that there is a HP that is going to help us , will ease our anxiety and not have to depend on booze/poison to ease it.

Thank you