thomas11

Those who have been here awhile know my story. Here's the situation, minimal contact with parents and brother, his wife, his kids etc...been that way since July 4, 2015. Had Thanksgiving with my parents and brother for the first time last week (wife did not attend, for good reason). It went very well. In the mean time my father is not doing well. He passed out and fell and currently has 9 stitches in his eyebrow, nose is glued together, has two broken ribs, his skin on his forearm is all ripped apart and possibly infected, he has 2 stents in his heart and a triple bypass surgery to his credit. He has been diagnosed with bladder cancer and goes in on the 19th for surgery. Tried to tell my parents and family that this is a serious situation and someone needs to play the grown-up going forward. Blew up in my face, they acted like children and now I'm PISSED OFF. I've effing had it with these kids. Last I heard they had to pull off to the side of the road because my dad **** his pants coming off opiates. That to them is funny because they have 3 million in the bank. I'm really disgusted and pissed off and very close to doing something about it.

MLD51

What is it you are thinking of doing about it? It sounds like they are not taking your dad's condition seriously, and you don't like that? Do I have that about right? I guess I'm just wondering what you are thinking you can do about it. Maybe it's just their way of dealing with a bad situation - perhaps they are in a bit of denial?

Anna

It doesn't sound like your family is going to take your dad's condition seriously, so what can you do? Can you talk to him by yourself? It sounds like this is something you really have no control over and I hope you don't let it bring you down.

thomas11

I;m gonna **** both of them up like they've never imagined. They think my life of crime was just my wild imagination. Because their idiots. Now the wrath is going to come down. and it may end very VERY badly for some people. I've crossed the god damn rubicon and these people need to be reckoned with!!!!!! The fact they are my parents means nothing!!!!!

Anna

Revenge is going to take so much of your energy and it will all be negative. It will bring you down. Why not step away for awhile, take care of yourself and do something nice for yourself today?

Pouncer

Obladi

You might think about talking with a social worker at the hospital - they could take advantage of his inpatient time to do an assessment and figure out how to get him the best possible support?

Pouncer

At the very least, it is a problem that doesn’t have to be resolved today.

2muchpain

Great advice. I can understand your anger Thomas, but reacting to this serious problem when you are this upset probably won't end well, for you or your father. I have often regretted making decisions when I'm upset. Looking outside your family to help you find solutions would probably turn out a lot better than reacting in anger. Besides looking into social services for help, have you considered looking into legal actions to make sure he is properly cared for. John

Soberwolf

There are serious consequences to your actions remember that before you make any rash decisions Thomas your better than this

thomas11

Update: I yelled like my life depended on it that I would **** his world up and his wife (my mom) and he said are you going to get physical? I said physical!!!! I might kill you!!!!! h I'm pissed off. This dragon has not been awake since 1998.

D122y

After her divorce from my Dad, mom married a rich guy and joined the JWs.

I am pretty much considered a swine since I didn't join up after all of these years.

I made my own way, but I still have a ton of resentment and frustration.

My step Dad is a JW high priest basically and owns a money tree.

Anyway, if he were to drop dead it wouldn't bother me much except that it would upset my mom.

I don't know how close it is to your situation. But, I can relate to some of your family drama.

Thanks.

suki44883

This does not make a lick of sense. You are angry because they don't appear to be taking your father's medical situation seriously, and then you threaten physical violence to him and who knows who else? Seriously? Does that not seem a bit ironic?

You need to take a big step back and think about this before you do something you will regret.

trailmix

You know, anger can be a good thing sometimes. It can get us out of a rut and propel us forward.

Your plan helps no one, not them, not you, no one.

Why not use that anger to resolve to never speak to them again? Get to the gym or do some other physical activity to blow off some of that rage.

You being violent toward them will solve absolutely nothing. You might feel justified for say 5 minutes but as you sit in your jail cell you will just have more anger to stew on.

Suki is right, your plan makes no sense.

AAPJ

Thomas, I sympathize with your situation and the related frustration. I can only offer the experience I had with my mother which may or may not be similar to your situation.

Perhaps your dad is just "done" with life. I know my mother is. Old and broken down she is. After her last stroke she just wants to die. She's done. Do I like it. No! Of course not but it is her life and I will let her live her last days as she sees fit. She's not senile. Her life her choices - not mine. I am not in charge of her situation.

My younger brother wanted to "take charge" of her situation because her choices were increasing the risk that she would die sooner rather than later. I told him to let her live her life in the manner she wanted. I then went to my mother and told her that I respected her choices and I said that her choices were probably increasing her risk of an earlier death but if that's how she wanted it to play out I supported her. In other words I explained the consequences of her decisions so it was clear to everyone. She said she understood and it's what she wanted.

It is painful to visit my mother now. But an old timer (40+ yrs sober) at an AA meeting told me it is the most important thing I can do until she passes. I think he's right.

Bebrave

Dude, what is this violent reaction going to solve? Why would not taking your input to talk about the situation make you threaten them? That makes no sense.

I would perhaps approach them again when you’ve calmed down, sober up?, and apologize for how you reacted. Explain you’ve been under great stress and overreacted.

Then try again to offer help, suggest resources. If they don’t accept your help there is really nothing you can do.

thomas11

You have a point, and its probably valid. But yes, I am very angry. And where I am from anger can be lethal and at the same time stupid. Maybe qualify.

thomas11

And what I will say to go along with this....stupid is as stupid does. I'm ready for either.

thomas11

MLD, someone has to step in and tell them they need to grow the eff up and that its not funny. That's my 2 cents.

Pouncer

A good thing to know when you are in a fit of anger or panic is that it typically takes the human nervous system 20 minutes to calm down after a big upset. Not taking any action for at least a half hour is a great tip I use for anger management.