GreatInquiry7

How does one go from planning to "try to drink normally"

To drinking for 2 days

To essentially not remembering the next week after that almost at all

This is actually a question. I never planned for this to happen, at some point in the first 2 days, all control was totally lost it seemed.

Anyway on to day 4!

Zanna

Well done on day 4. I think that once we go from saying after a couple of drinks as a 'normie' that we better stop as we can feel it 'getting to us' to bypassing that and carrying on, then it's time we know we're heading for trouble. All my friends stop once they start to 'feel the effects' but that was never enough for me.
I can honestly say I don't miss it anymore and neither will you - give it time

Dee74

I always said 'if only I hadn't had that last drink'...but the reality was it was always the first drink that started the madness.

No matter how sincere my desire and belief that I would have only one or two...all promises went out the window once I started drinking.

The ingestion of alcohol makes me lose control.

We dupe ourselves over and over into drinking again, and the same results ensue.

Thats the nature of addiction.

At some point we have to call on that mountain of evidence and history that tells us we cannot drink if we want to avoid those alcoholic negative consequences, like benders.

Be ready to call on your mountain of evidence next time you need it GI.

D

totfit

I don't have the answer as to how one wouldn't do something like that. I always did. The only answer I found was that it was not for me. Congrats on four days.

ciowa

What ive read is our bodies try to adjust to the increasing levels of alcohol we put into it. So if your brain anticipates you drinking 15 beers then its gonna release various chemicals once you take a drink. The effects of that one beer will soon fade and if you have a alcohol use disorder (sud) then usually you will start to feel anxious with increased cravings after that one beer. So then you have another to try and calm down a little or chase that euphoric state. And on it goes. But you are building up a biological debt that increases with each drink so as your body works harder to counteract more booze you keep drinking more to stave off the feelings of sickness until you finally crash. Thats a very basic summary of some things ive read.

FeelingGreat

The same way I can never have just the one piece of chocolate. If you could drink normally you wouldn't be here.

Now you know, go total abstinence or nothing.

August252015

Ultimately, my simple answer absolutely had to be that the reason is because I am an alcoholic. It's an insane and baffling disease, and we do things just like you said, because once we take a drink, we don't have control over what happens next.

I only have choice over taking that first one. And, for me, it's the only thing off the table for me, period. Everything else in life has become do-able, because I am sober.

Took me a long time to get to that acceptance.

Glad you are starting again.

ciowa

Duplicate

Delilah1

Congratulations on Day four!

I spent several years alternating between brief periods of sobriety and failed attempts at moderation, I do not know what I was thinking, each time I tried to moderate I found myself quickly back to the same drinking pattern I had been in previously.

I will have four years sober on January 1st, and life is so much better with a clear head. I have learned healthy ways to handle stress and alcohol is no longer a thought. This site was and still is my biggest support, I read and post here daily. What have you tried to help you stay sober? Any thoughts on what you might add this time?

DriGuy

As August notes, "Because you are an alcoholic," and while we can't be sure of specifics, I think we can make some rather good speculations that may help explain it.

But first, you are asking the wrong question. It sounds like you want to be able to go from having one drink normally to continuing to drink normally. You can't because you are an alcoholic (see above). You need to ask the right question: "How do I stop drinking?" You probably don't like the question, because you want to control your drinking. I get it. I was once the same way asking the same question, the wrong question, which has no answer, other than one as a come-on from some charlatan that wants to sell you a gimmick.

But as far as speculations as to why you can't get it right on the path you prefer, I think it works like this:

After awhile, maybe you've done OK, and you decide it's time to have a normal drink. You test the waters and have just one drink. Hey you had just one drink, and guess what? Your OK. Success, right? If you can have just one drink, and be OK, it only stands to reason that you can have two, and since the first went down just fine, it stands to reason that the second (and the third, and the fourth) will render the same results. Now you know you will get drunk. You've done it enough times, but now you're having such a good time being a success, you've lost the ability to reason, as well as the ability to stop at any number.

Actually, alcoholics don't measure a drunk by the drink. We can only measure one drunk, one bender, or maybe we measure by the DUI: "I'll stop at three DUIs," you might decide.

Obviously, there are more speculations, and also some facts that can explain your behavior, but you will not stop behaving like an alcoholic as long as you crave the impossible drinking style that will always be beyond your grasp.

Best of luck. I believe you can come to understand your problem, and I believe you will sometime agree with me.

Zebra1275

One summer I decided not to drink over the July 4th weekend, because I had plans for Christmas.

That's how it was for me.

DriGuy

^ lol

Verdantia

I don't know the answer, but the solution is not to drink. I tried many times to moderate, or drink 'normally,' and every attempt led to disaster--and I'm not using hyperbole--it really did. For whatever reason, I cannot drink like normal people, and that revelation has led to four years of sobriety on Dec. 23. I had to surrender to win the battle, and I wish you all the best with yours.

SuficintCrlsns

It wasn't until I fully surrendered to the power that alcohol had over me, that I got sober for good (or at least for the past 11 months). That means no longer questioning the why's and how's or why I can't drink 'normally'. It just is.

I was thinking about this a couple of weeks ago and I came up with an analogy. You can question, why do tornadoes happen? all you want, but the fact is that a tornado can kill you, so when there's a tornado, you go the other way. You surrender to the tornado unconditionally.

Or why whenever I go into the forest where there's bears, they want to kill me? You don't ask this question, you just KNOW that the bear can kill you.

I'm not mocking the question in the least, but trying to put it in a different perspective. I used to ask the same question. For some of us, booze is our tornado or bear.

SC

fini

how?
by not accepting the truth.

faith823

Love this post- and it is so true.

August252015

I could have kept myself drinking forever by seeking another answer to "why" except for the real one. Forever, that is, until I died an early and horrible death. Not everyone has the same "yet" (ie, the 3 DUIS "yet") but the thing for each one of us is that alcohol is already damaging and will ultimately ruin our lives.

Figuring out the additional pieces of my story - ie, yes I have a genetic predisposition to alcoholism, yes I have mental health issues, yes I have [...] - simply (tho not quickly, ie that surrender and acceptance part) had to come once I quit. Then using that "why" info (I'm replacing how with why, from the OP) to keep growing in life in recovery was then useful and constructive.

dpac414

Yeah, honestly it's frustrating to not know the answer to any questions regarding the "why" of alcoholism, but I don't entertain any of them.

Thinking about it means there must be an answer, and if I can find that answer, maybe I can drink again. If I could just figure it out, I could figure out how to drink "normally".

But there is no solution, there is no answer, there isn't a key. The only answer is a shrug of the shoulders and "I just can't drink."

Be careful with those kinds of thoughts. The only way to stop drinking is to let go of finding the answers, accept that you have an incurable disease to which the solution is to never drink again. None of the other stuff matters. If it still does, I think it means you still haven't taken drinking entirely off the table as an option.

August252015

^^^Perfect.

"If I could just figure out why, it'll be fixed." - said August for years #fail

Hevyn

Congratulations on your 4 days of sobriety, GreatInquiry.

I had 3 yrs. sobriety once. I went out with a person who didn't know my history. Rather than telling him I couldn't drink - I let him order me a glass of wine. A near fatal decision, as it turns out. I was going to let the one drink be it - and go right back to being sober. I summoned up every bit of willpower & determination - but they were of no use. That mistake led to many more years of hell - and also to SR for help & encouragement. I finally realized that once alcohol was in my system, no amount of control was possible. I wish it hadn't taken me decades to get it.

Happy you are here with us to get free and heal.