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Despair

Old 11-29-2019, 10:58 AM
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Despair

Have not posted for a while. I’m struggling with not being able to quit. Now into my 3rd month of relapse.

Also been losing a lot of money at the casino. Life is very lonely and miserable.

What to do? Try my best to really cut back get to the new year and then try really really hard to beat this problem once and for all.

Also it’s the Christmas office meal next week and my colleagues are pressuring me to go.

Thought I’d relax last night with a couple glasses of whiskey, 1/2 a bottle later and 5 pints of strong beer I’m walking home from the casino with no money at 4am. Had to go to work today which was not pleasant.
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Old 11-29-2019, 11:16 AM
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Stable, unfortunately us alcoholics cannot relax with a couple of glass of alcohol. It just doesn't work that way.

If you're looking for suggestions, I would say stop drinking right now. Forget about the Christmas party and there's no need to wait for the New Year to begin your sobriety. Why not ring in 2020 as someone who has one month of sobriety?
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Old 11-29-2019, 11:37 AM
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You are able to quit drinking, you just haven't done it yet. I used to think I was unable to get sober but that wasn't true. I finally quit drinking and my life now is much better. Don't give up! Keep trying until you 'get it'.
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Old 11-29-2019, 12:17 PM
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You have been struggling.

Have you thought of asking for some help, like at an AA meeting or your doctor?

You can quit. I would make today the day, and not hope to get out at some point in the future. And yeah, I'd skip any drinking parties for the first few months.
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Old 11-29-2019, 12:19 PM
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You're just gonna have to surrender to this thing, man, one way or another.
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Old 11-29-2019, 12:51 PM
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Do have any support? Either way, it might help to start going to AA meetings, even if its just to sit and listen and be around other people going through the same thing you are. John
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Old 11-29-2019, 12:56 PM
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Do you want to quit? You seem to go to the casino a lot, then disappear from the forum. I've asked before what you're going to do differently this time, but you've never answered. If you're settling down to relax with whiskey, you probably want to drink more than you want to be sober.
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Old 11-29-2019, 01:02 PM
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Originally Posted by NerfThis View Post
Do you want to quit? You seem to go to the casino a lot, then disappear from the forum. I've asked before what you're going to do differently this time, but you've never answered. If you're settling down to relax with whiskey, you probably want to drink more than you want to be sober.
I think this pretty much sums it up. You have to want to quit. Do you??
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Old 11-29-2019, 01:41 PM
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sobriety happens in the now, not after >>fill in the excuse here<<.
if you truly WANT to get sober, you will do anything and everything now to get sober and to stay sober.

this will require a lot of changes. playmates, playgrounds and playthings. so that means no booze in the house, no trips to the casino, no holiday parties which offer anything stronger than coffee. trust me, the office party will happen whether you are there or not. and NO thank you is a perfectly good response to any invitation.

so it comes down to you. if you want sobriety, make it happen. seize it. do whatever it takes.
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Old 11-29-2019, 04:24 PM
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I'm sorry to hear you're still drinking Stable.

I think speaking with your SR, counsellor, embracing a meeting based method liek AA or some alternative or lookung at your outpatient or unaptient rehavb options could be the best Xmas present you can give youself.

You've tried to stop on your own and that doesn't seem to be working, man.

Time to call in the cavalry - all some or whatever mix of the above suggestions you like.

the only thing that's gonna break this cycle is change - and I mean active doing stuff actually making kind of change.

You can stop digging that hole anytime you like, y'know?

D
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Old 11-30-2019, 03:29 AM
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Us boozers are a glutton for punishment arent we? Look my friend . you have to want to throw the towel in. Surrender. Thats your way out my friend. That exit sign cant get any bigger for ya. Try using it. ✌
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Old 11-30-2019, 04:18 AM
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Ooof. I hear ya.

Gambling and drinking went hand in hand for me towards the end. Guess I was trying to up the ante and increase that rush. Drinking to blackout stage alone wasn't good enough, I had to put $200 bucks on the over/under of the Chargers-Rams game or something to make my night more exciting. Looking back I was just desperate for something good to happen. I was trying desperately to re-associate drinking with fun and success, throwing money into the wind and hoping it would magically multiply and thus justify my alcohol problem.

As you know, it just makes things worse. Some of the most depressed mornings of my life were waking up and checking those internet sports-betting pages and seeing a $0 balance. Flights home from Vegas were pure misery. It's a hard lifestyle to quit. The house always wins. So does alcoholism. You can beat 'em both, but only if you walk away when you still have a job and your health.

I ultimately landed in rehab after losing my job. Wish I could've found a way out on my own, but I simply didn't have the tools. For you I think maybe it's time to give up the ghost and surrender to a support group. Any options?
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Old 12-05-2019, 08:11 AM
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You seem to have disappeared again Stable. Where you at?
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