Father goes silent about my mother's death.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
Father goes silent about my mother's death.
I posted a couple weeks ago about my mother's death a year ago. I figured that my father may be upset so I didn't push him for the strange details surrounding her death. I called him tonight to ask him how my mother's last few weeks of life unfolded. I am her son. I think I deserve to know. My sister deserves to know. Silence. Hang ups. 'Don't want to talk about it's
My mother was an alcoholic in denial for 30 . I know why she died. However, should I feel entitled to know how the last year of her life went?
My mother was an alcoholic in denial for 30 . I know why she died. However, should I feel entitled to know how the last year of her life went?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Hi wastinglife
I think you can definitely feel entitled.
I don't know what your dads reasons are for not telling you, but unless you can find out some other way - like applying for a copy of her death certificate or something - I'm not sure what else you can do?
D
I think you can definitely feel entitled.
I don't know what your dads reasons are for not telling you, but unless you can find out some other way - like applying for a copy of her death certificate or something - I'm not sure what else you can do?
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,058
Hi Wastinglife I can relate to what you have posted. My mother died when I was five years old. I have never fully known why except some complication whilst she was having what should of been a routine operation. She died a few hours after the op. I only got that information by sending off for her death certificate.
My Dad never tried to keep her memory alive. No photographs on display and he never spoke about her at all. 51 years on nothing has changed. I feel like a great chunk of who I am is missing. I have no idea what my Mum even looked like let alone what she was like.
I hope you get your answers, I know how painful it is not to.
My Dad never tried to keep her memory alive. No photographs on display and he never spoke about her at all. 51 years on nothing has changed. I feel like a great chunk of who I am is missing. I have no idea what my Mum even looked like let alone what she was like.
I hope you get your answers, I know how painful it is not to.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 732
I come from a family of people that won't talk properly to each other, about feelings and truth. My daughter is also like that and it leaves you in a lonely place. It's not good for mental health but life does go on and people do what they have to to continue to cope. Maybe you could say to your dad, if you ever need to talk about it I'm here for you. I'm so sorry. It just shows the legacy of pain we leave behind if we cause our own deaths x
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