JdA23

Hello, my name is Jeff and i am an Alcoholic. My sobriety date is 2/28/19. I signed up for this because there are days when Im at work and my mind starts drifting. Not necessarily to drink but about how my sober life is now, whether Im truly happy or not, I miss my friends, my family and the way they used to be close to me. -its as if i have some sort of contagious disease, or they cant look at me in the eye. Its a very weird feeling, almost unsettling. Although I am in AA and have met some really great people, I have resentments towards the program for the wedge that's theoretically been driven between me and everything I once knew. I keep hoping that one day these feelings of separation and loss will subside but some some days its almost overwhelming to where drinking again would make it all go away.

nightshade131

Hi Jeff, welcome :-)
I really liked your opening post, it was very eloquently put and I can relate to it. I have only been sober for a few weeks now.
It's a great crowd here so keep posting

brighterday1234

Anna

Welcome, and I'm glad that you found us.

gypsytears

Hi & welcome. I hope to see more posts from you. SR is a great place for support.

least

Welcome to the family Jeff! I hope our support can shore up your sobriety and help you stay sober for good.

PhoenixJ

Good share, welcome Jd.

Hevyn

Great to meet you, Jeff. We are here to encourage you. There's always someone around to listen. Congratulations on your sober time.

thomas11

Hi and welcome Jeff, we share somethings in common.... a name and we are alcoholics. I understand your frustration and maybe even some confusion, but you are going to be just fine. Early days are rough, we feel people look at us like we have a 3rd eye or we are abnormal. For some it takes time to become comfortable in their own skin. Stay strong Jeff.

D122y

Nobody really gets what we deal with except other drunks.

Then we drunks obsess over it. At least I do.

I constantly am aware I have permanent brain damage from years of drinking.

It makes the suffering make sense. no mystery anymore, thanks to Sr and the www.

Thanks.

Dee74

Hi and welcome Jeff

I had to change my life completely because my old life was all about drinking.

I lost a lot of drinking buddies but my real friends stuck by me. It was hard for a whole while everyone got used to my new normal but I worked hard at building a sober life I loved.

12 years on, my life is awesome.
I don't feel I've lost things, rather I've gained.

I don't regret a thing now - I hope you'll get to that point too

D

fini

welcome, Jeff.
that wedge you mention...you say you resent “the program” for it. not sure i understand: does this wedge you experience relate to a shift in perspective, now that you’ve been sober a while? or the work you’re doing in implementing a different way of being in the world?

“ some days its almost overwhelming to where drinking again would make it all go away.”

no; no, it wouldn’t make “it” go away. not any of it. it would make you not care, briefly.
what it would make go away is sobriety, and all the possibilities that go with it.

fini

hey JdA, you still around?