Day 3
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 135
Day 3
First of all, let me apologize for hijacking another post here. UGH! I wasn't paying attention and I posted as a reply by mistake.
Now...
AH had his last drinks on Friday. He did not "feel" like walking to the liquor store (a short jaunt from our home) and neither me nor our son offered or agreed to enable his behavior by buying it while we were out. So he white-knuckled the weekend.
This morning, he was a bear but still sober. He mentioned yesterday that it would be the longest he has been without a drink since January...and that "if" he makes it to tomorrow, it will be a new record. I cannot celebrate this victory with him. AH even said that he knew that if I kicked him to the street that he would not be able to stop then either. I told him about "kindling" (thanks to you guys for pointing me in that direction) and that maybe he needed to just try some professional help so that he could get over the proverbial hump. Usually, this will set off quite the argument but this time he just said he would think about it. He admitted that the 2 years he was sober and going to meetings that he didn't really come away with much. He went because he felt like he had to. I told him that I have learned a lot from online meetings too and I can offer him the information but not advice on what to do with it. He liked the medical jargon version of what is happening in his brain right now. The actual CHEMICAL issue at hand and how he may need to seek help to repair the damage in his body.
We will see what happens. As of now, I am looking for a place that will accept a mama, 3 kids, 3 dogs, 3 cats, and 3 birds...I would like to start the New Year, new decade, off on a foot that is moving FORWARD!
Now...
AH had his last drinks on Friday. He did not "feel" like walking to the liquor store (a short jaunt from our home) and neither me nor our son offered or agreed to enable his behavior by buying it while we were out. So he white-knuckled the weekend.
This morning, he was a bear but still sober. He mentioned yesterday that it would be the longest he has been without a drink since January...and that "if" he makes it to tomorrow, it will be a new record. I cannot celebrate this victory with him. AH even said that he knew that if I kicked him to the street that he would not be able to stop then either. I told him about "kindling" (thanks to you guys for pointing me in that direction) and that maybe he needed to just try some professional help so that he could get over the proverbial hump. Usually, this will set off quite the argument but this time he just said he would think about it. He admitted that the 2 years he was sober and going to meetings that he didn't really come away with much. He went because he felt like he had to. I told him that I have learned a lot from online meetings too and I can offer him the information but not advice on what to do with it. He liked the medical jargon version of what is happening in his brain right now. The actual CHEMICAL issue at hand and how he may need to seek help to repair the damage in his body.
We will see what happens. As of now, I am looking for a place that will accept a mama, 3 kids, 3 dogs, 3 cats, and 3 birds...I would like to start the New Year, new decade, off on a foot that is moving FORWARD!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
oddsunflower…..if you haven't, already...you can call the dv center and talk to someone on the staff (confidentially), as they may have resources and listings of housing that you may not know of...that are more "Pet-friendly"...…
I think that the dogs will be the biggest challenge...and, what most landlords are concerned about. In my own personal experience...I have never been open with landlords about cats...at least not COMPLETELY open...(wink)….as cats draw less attention.....and, smaller pets...like fish, turtles, birds, and hamsters. etc., tend to cause less concern, in general.
The main concern, for most landlords, tends to be issues of property destruction....but, that can be a non-issue if the animals are well cared for (as you already know, I am sure)...lol.....
many times, the deal is sweetened by the offer to pay extra moneys as a "pet deposit".....
Wishing you the best of Luck....as one animal lover to another!
I think that the dogs will be the biggest challenge...and, what most landlords are concerned about. In my own personal experience...I have never been open with landlords about cats...at least not COMPLETELY open...(wink)….as cats draw less attention.....and, smaller pets...like fish, turtles, birds, and hamsters. etc., tend to cause less concern, in general.
The main concern, for most landlords, tends to be issues of property destruction....but, that can be a non-issue if the animals are well cared for (as you already know, I am sure)...lol.....
many times, the deal is sweetened by the offer to pay extra moneys as a "pet deposit".....
Wishing you the best of Luck....as one animal lover to another!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
oddsunflower….one other thought...about your husband....
I have detoxed many, many alcoholics, myself...as a medical person. I was the medical co-ordinator of an alcoholism program, for several years.
The majority of my patients were detoxed as outpatients....
(I met most of them in an emergency medical department...and, after I got them, initially. stable....within less that 24 hrs. of the majority.....I saw them every three days, in my own office...and prescribed necessary medications, to get them through the detox period safely and COMFORTABLY. They did not have to suffer uncomfortable withdrawl symptoms!! I did spend a lot of one on one time, talking to them and their spouses/family members....explaining the whole process. I required all of them to attend a six week outpatient program...which incorporated AA meetings as a part of the treatment....
Lol....they were encouraged to call me. at any time, on my private phone...and, I held their hands, through the whole process. In this way, I was able to cut through their fears, and relieve them of so much unnecessary suffering....
alcoholics entering treatment, for the first time, are extremely fearful of the discomfort and of being judged.....(just so you know)….
you might want to make it clear, that your husband can see a private doctor and have that doctor monitor them....and prescribe any medications that they m ight need, to get through the withdrawl period safely and comfortably...as they arrange an alcohol treatment program for their ongoing recovery.....
Now, he might be so stubborn that he will reject it...but, at least he should know that there is a humane and comfortable (much more comfortable) way through this...…
I say all of this as a result of my own experience in working with alcoholics....
I have detoxed many, many alcoholics, myself...as a medical person. I was the medical co-ordinator of an alcoholism program, for several years.
The majority of my patients were detoxed as outpatients....
(I met most of them in an emergency medical department...and, after I got them, initially. stable....within less that 24 hrs. of the majority.....I saw them every three days, in my own office...and prescribed necessary medications, to get them through the detox period safely and COMFORTABLY. They did not have to suffer uncomfortable withdrawl symptoms!! I did spend a lot of one on one time, talking to them and their spouses/family members....explaining the whole process. I required all of them to attend a six week outpatient program...which incorporated AA meetings as a part of the treatment....
Lol....they were encouraged to call me. at any time, on my private phone...and, I held their hands, through the whole process. In this way, I was able to cut through their fears, and relieve them of so much unnecessary suffering....
alcoholics entering treatment, for the first time, are extremely fearful of the discomfort and of being judged.....(just so you know)….
you might want to make it clear, that your husband can see a private doctor and have that doctor monitor them....and prescribe any medications that they m ight need, to get through the withdrawl period safely and comfortably...as they arrange an alcohol treatment program for their ongoing recovery.....
Now, he might be so stubborn that he will reject it...but, at least he should know that there is a humane and comfortable (much more comfortable) way through this...…
I say all of this as a result of my own experience in working with alcoholics....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 135
AH didn't make it sober to the end of day 3. I didn't pay his tears much mind, packed the kiddos in the car and went about the plans we have had for a few weeks now. He told me that I "had my chance" to enjoy him sober the day before and I didn't use it to my full advantage (whatever the hell this means).
Today he was back to "normal" and feeling sorry for himself and the way he acted yesterday.
Me?
I am doing as well as I can. Trying to stay busy with my OWN things so that I do not feel compelled to get involved in his. Keeping my side of the street clean over here and trying not to mind the mess on the other side.
Today he was back to "normal" and feeling sorry for himself and the way he acted yesterday.
Me?
I am doing as well as I can. Trying to stay busy with my OWN things so that I do not feel compelled to get involved in his. Keeping my side of the street clean over here and trying not to mind the mess on the other side.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2019
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 52
Hey oddsunflower -
I'll never forget the day his mother told me that I should take his shoes.
I called her because I was afraid to leave him alone and go to work. She told me to take his shoes so he couldn't walk out of the house and get more to drink.
I didn't take his shoes, but I did leave and not return until he got back from treatment a few months later.
E
I'll never forget the day his mother told me that I should take his shoes.
I called her because I was afraid to leave him alone and go to work. She told me to take his shoes so he couldn't walk out of the house and get more to drink.
I didn't take his shoes, but I did leave and not return until he got back from treatment a few months later.
E
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 135
Originally Posted by Emmalyn 
Hey oddsunflower -
I'll never forget the day his mother told me that I should take his shoes.
I called her because I was afraid to leave him alone and go to work. She told me to take his shoes so he couldn't walk out of the house and get more to drink.
I didn't take his shoes, but I did leave and not return until he got back from treatment a few months later.
E
I'll never forget the day his mother told me that I should take his shoes.
I called her because I was afraid to leave him alone and go to work. She told me to take his shoes so he couldn't walk out of the house and get more to drink.
I didn't take his shoes, but I did leave and not return until he got back from treatment a few months later.
E
Member
Join Date: Sep 2019
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 52
Well.. it is and it isn't the best advice.
Taking his shoes would not have taken his desire to drink away.
That's something he had to do for himself, and the desire to fix him was something I had to go to Alanon for.
Hugs,
E
Taking his shoes would not have taken his desire to drink away.
That's something he had to do for himself, and the desire to fix him was something I had to go to Alanon for.
Hugs,
E
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,618
Originally Posted by oddsunflower
He told me that I "had my chance" to enjoy him sober the day before and I didn't use it to my full advantage (whatever the hell this means)
Member
Join Date: Aug 2019
Location: Virginia
Posts: 469
Wow almost 3 days and he taunts you with you should of taken advantage of it. Like what were you suppose to do. They're is no way you could trust him to do anything after only 3 days probably not even 3 months. I'm sorry you are having to deal with him. Keep moving forward. You have shown how strong you are and can make it through all of this. Just look after you and the kids safety and focus on yourself. Have a great night and be strong.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 135
Originally Posted by ironwill
Wow almost 3 days and he taunts you with you should of taken advantage of it. Like what were you suppose to do. They're is no way you could trust him to do anything after only 3 days probably not even 3 months. I'm sorry you are having to deal with him. Keep moving forward. You have shown how strong you are and can make it through all of this. Just look after you and the kids safety and focus on yourself. Have a great night and be strong.
three days and he should get a boy scout patch and maybe a cake or a foot rub or something.
He was sober for two years (almost 3) as soon as he relapsed, he declared that his sobriety didn't matter because no one else changed when he didn't drink and that people still treated him poorly so what did it matter?
Lordy....I am just telling the story here and not really complaining because I know it is not MY problem. The kids (human and fur) and I are just enjoying the crazy weather today and looking forward to the holidays.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 122
Just had a quick peruse through your posts. Hun, this guy is going to die with an attitude like that. He doesn't owe you a day of sobriety, he owes it to himself and if he can't even grasp that selfish notion...it does not look good. Do you really want to stick around for that?
Last edited by Kokoro; 11-21-2019 at 02:46 PM. Reason: Spelling!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
i'm not the best at math but.....
if HE had 3 days on the 18th.....
and now it is the 21st and he has three days again..........
what am i missing?
the "getting to day 3 and then drinking again" thing is VERY common. you could be counting HIS 35th day 3 if you keep your focus solely on what he is or isn't doing............
if HE had 3 days on the 18th.....
and now it is the 21st and he has three days again..........
what am i missing?
the "getting to day 3 and then drinking again" thing is VERY common. you could be counting HIS 35th day 3 if you keep your focus solely on what he is or isn't doing............
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 135
Originally Posted by AnvilheadII
i'm not the best at math but.....
if HE had 3 days on the 18th.....
and now it is the 21st and he has three days again..........
what am i missing?
the "getting to day 3 and then drinking again" thing is VERY common. you could be counting HIS 35th day 3 if you keep your focus solely on what he is or isn't doing............
if HE had 3 days on the 18th.....
and now it is the 21st and he has three days again..........
what am i missing?
the "getting to day 3 and then drinking again" thing is VERY common. you could be counting HIS 35th day 3 if you keep your focus solely on what he is or isn't doing............
The day I posted this, was the morning of Day 3 but I learned when he came home that he had been drinking. So...he really only made it to Day 2....
He does this...2 days sober then Day 3 I wait to see if he has made it. Today is that day again. He didn't drink Tuesday or Wednesday...today?...we will know in an hour.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
