dawnrising

Who knew that the "federales" are efficient. I have already had 2 phone calls dealing with the filings and wheels are moving, I sincerely expected not much of a response, because it seems the other agencies want to "pass the buck", the second agent call after all the evidence was uploaded into the system and reviewed used the term "bad actors" in reference to the many associated parties. The funniest part of the second phone call was when the agent said first we will call Person A, B , C, D for the information- we should get something from these "high ranking people" I laughed and said please refer to the notes section of the filings- ( Person A,B,C,D are the ones breaking the laws.......) And this was AFTER agent used "bad actors" comment. Upon this information agent told me exactly where to find the people who can be held personally responsible and to Subpoena those people as well. Nice little helpful tip. I did not expect such timely, complete, practical service from the government. In my defense my only government experience has been this court case and the DMV so.......

Bekindalways

It sounds hopeful if the agent put together the idea that getting information from bad actors wasn't really practical.

It seems like these agents should be talking to the attorneys not you but I'm with you in that most of my Federale experience is the DMV.

hopeful4

The government can be extremely efficient, when they decide to. That's good news!

dawnrising

Wow another day another tactic, so this one is an oldie but goodie, little education for those of you going to court: e-file service is an electronic filing service which time stamps everything that has been filed and automatically ends it to the contacts of that particular case number. So AH and his shady attorney are still trying to get all the documents sealed again......, his shady attorney has to efile to get a court date, and include an envelope number etc. containing the filed documents, then everyone has to open the e- file for it to show up on the calendar. So shady attorney sends notice of hearing envelope but inside the envelope is a temporary restraining order on another case. So me and my 4 attorneys were having a good chuckle thinking this guy is an idiot..... well low and behold a signed stamped document shows up on the website as if shady attorney had e-filed that document. Its a little confusing but here's the jist - had I not gone out to check shady attorney like I do every other day, no-one would have shown up in court that day for an improperly serviced hearing, but the only way the judge would know it was improperly serviced would be if he actually opened and downloaded the envelope and not just looked at the description. Meaning he would have heard the motion without any of my attorneys there and most likely granted it because we wouldn't have shown up. The court coordinator has been notified and we will see what happens. My attorneys believe that he e files one document and then hand files the other----the boy is gonna lose his license, he has violated countless professional rules of conduct which he can lose his license but also 4 penal codes in this case, and this is the attorney. WOW

DontRemember

This is just me but, I'd try to stop focusing on the defense and the court proceedings so much. It's not healthy. I 'get it' that a lot of stuff has happened that may/may not be illegal with his company and such but,why not just get your stuff in order as far as the divorce is concerned and move on with your life?

dawnrising

Because of 2 reasons -

1) our actual community estate is more than double what my AH disclosed (I didn't know several benefits even existed) - meaning he walks away with millions of dollars, while I have been looking for a job for almost 2 years with no luck since I haven't worked in 23 years.

more importantly:

2) the entire time he has been lying and keeping this income secret he has been actively threatening my children about their college education, in an effort to control them : "i'm not going to continue to pay for school if you don't see me, have a relationship with me" (for one child who staged the intervention) and then other requirements for the other child, he referred in writing as "deliverables" - if you want me to continue to pay for college " I must attend every advising appointment, see you every weekend, you must have a clean apartment, you must clean out the trunk of your car, deliver your updated goals and grades in writing" Not making this up its actually in writing, and by the way thats my special needs child, who we (myself and all the docs, therapists, etc) have worked for decades trying to get that kid a place where he is independent, so having his AF trying to force him into a dependent relationship is so sick.

I will bankrupt myself to pay for them to finish because of the current split - I didn't know about 75% of my husbands compensation (yep, im that girl - uuggghh) , of the 25% I knew about the judge assigned assets to AH because AH lied on the stand about how those assets "vest" and there is proof.

That is why - I have to ask myself daily, if I stop can I live with that knowledge? At this point I cannot, its not about fault or fair its about the fact that my kids don't deserve that treatment and guess what after years and years of therapy neither do I! Neither does anyone! The bare minimum law is 50/50, I would have been happy with that, but he had to lie, so here we are. There are consequences for actions which I contemplate daily: mine are extreme exhaustion, stress, sleepless nights, worry, frustration, etc. AH's are jail, bankruptcy, and death as he's lost every thing else.

dandylion

dawnrising…...every time I read one of your posts...I think about a book that I read...."Not People Like Us".....by Susan Weitzman.....
It is.basically, about "hidden abuse in upscale marriages'.....
While the rest of the world...from the outside, assume that it must be just a piece of cake for the women who are married to financially successful and powerful men....the actually story is often very grim....Quite often, different than what people would just assume.
This book does take in the situations of physical abuse---but, I still think that you will find the book worthwhile reading. I think it might validate a lot of what you are feeling as you fight this "battle".
***If you do read the book, I would love to hear your evaluation of the book.....!

by the way....I admire how you are able to wade through this maze of complicated legal stuff.....Oh, my gosh---I struggle just to understand my Verizon fios bill...lol!

dawnrising

I have that book! it is excellent and made me feel like I wasn't alone and in fact my situation is basically the "poster child" for this hidden abuse. I have learned the hard way both with cancer and this legal stuff that if I don't self advocate I am going to be taken advantage of, quite a change from the girl who joined in 2012 - thanks to all of you, and my long time suffering therapist.