Wastinglife

We all have to eventually deal with the death of a parent obviously. However, the circumstances surrounding my mother's death are tough to deal with. I hadn't seen her for over 2 years. She was an alcoholic in denial for 30 years. My father, also in denial about her drinking, continued to enable her right up to her death. Everyone could see plain as day that my mother had serious issues with alcohol.

I have come to the conclusion that she wasn't in denial during her final years. She just decided to drink herself to death. 8 years ago she fell while intoxicated and broke her hip. The first time in 30 years I saw my mother sober and without a drink in her hand past 5pm was during her recovery from hip replacement surgery.

After about a month of recovery time, she was back to drinking. Too far gone. Drank every day until she just died on the sofa. I fear the same fate but I have never denied my alcoholism and know what awaits if I do nothing about it.

Just a vent....

Epictetus

You have the opportunity to change your family tree.....that must be exciting.

nmd

Sorry for your loss WL, i can imagine it is very hard

As epictetus said, it doesn't have to be you

How have you been?

HeadEast

I'm sorry for your loss.

Dee74

I'm really sorry WL. I know how deeply your moms death wears upon you, not only the death but the way it happened.

I just wanted you to know you're not alone today - you have many hands hearts and prayers with you

D

Wastinglife

Thanks everyone for your support. I never got closure. There was no funeral by my mother's request in her will. I haven't seen a single family member since her death. I actually don't have much family here in Canada, but friends have stepped up. I think my parents do feel some guilt about their kids growing up with an alcoholic mother. The way they dealt with it is silence.

gypsytears

I’m sorry for your loss WL. It sounds like a very difficult situation. Losing a parent is never easy.

DriGuy

You can't change the past, and from what you say, you could not have changed it when it was the past. You may have made an effort to see her more, but that's about all you could have changed. Not seeing her, unfortunate as it may be, is not like you did anything unforgivable. Grieve, and plumb the the depths of your grief, but then move on.