oddsunflower

This happens every time and where I used to get all excited and involved in his "recovery" now it just feels like another day. He was so worried all day yesterday that he would come home and I would be gone that he had angina. He apologized (of course) and told me about how he had stolen a bottle of vodka and a beer (apparently also a sandwich that he didn't eat which bothered him even more than the liquor). That he had spent the whole day just being an a hole and then chugged the vodka and beer in the driveway a few down from ours right before coming home. I don't have expectations for his recovery. It is not mine to control. I am worried about withdrawal though and that is what brought me here today. I have been reading this morning about relapse and cold turkey quitting getting worse after each relapse. AH's health is already poorly. I am curious what the symptoms are and what the timeline may be for this. His last drink was Wednesday around 4pm. He drank 16oz of vodka and a 32oz Coors in less than 5 minutes. He has quit before.... Just mild shakes and some confusion... But this is the 5th time since August that he has tried. What are your experiences with symptoms? I am working through this and will be going to a meeting tonight as well. I just need to talk it out... Thanks for listening.

Mango212

My experiences with symptoms is with my own:

When I'm focused on someone else's recovery/relapses/health instead of my own it's a really great and important sign to hit some Al-Anon meetings and work the 12 steps myself! There really is a huge change in dynamics as this happens.

My husband is now free to tend to his own health needs. This may look wonky at times, yet now, looking back, I can see how very helpful it's been in many many ways.

trailmix

He stole a bottle of vodka and a beer? Ok that's weird. Why is he stealing things from the store?

Has he done this before?

I mention this because it's so abnormal but when you put down in text it just seems like a fact, rather than a really weird behaviour? Almost like you are beginning to accept the dysfunction as a normal way of life? Or is this you detaching?

Anyway! Withdrawal is variable, can be a few shakes and a headache. Can be convulsions, sweating, shaking - no one can say, that's why it's so dangerous. Someone should stay with him over the next few days.

What Is Kindling?

When a person struggling with alcohol addiction quits and then relapses several times, they are at risk of developing kindling. This condition is a worsening of withdrawal symptoms each time the individual attempts to quit alcohol again. The body becomes increasingly sensitive to changes in neurotransmitters, as GABA floods the brain during periods of drinking too much and is suddenly stopped during periods of abstinence. Over a few cycles, the risk of developing delirium tremens, seizures, and other health problems associated with unsupervised alcohol withdrawal dramatically increases.

https://www.alcohol.org/effects/kindling-withdrawal/

oddsunflower

I promise, I know how crazy it sounds! When he told me I was shocked... Like he went in to a store we frequent, in his uniform, with his work truck and STOLE $4 worth of booze..... Why?

I am working through my own recovery and not so much worried about him as I like to plan on case of emergency at what point I need to get my kids out of the house.
I did not know about "kindling" and I do appreciate that information. I am off to research more and wait to see what his status is when he gets home from work.

Mango212

at what point I need to get my kids out of the house.


Now seems like a very good time.

It's healthy to move forward and create space for self and kids from the alcoholic chaos.

/Edit -- leaving doesn't need to mean never going back. In fact many people find a lot of clarity and strength from short time periods away. 2 - 3 weeks staying with supportive friends or family can be super healthy!

This, as strange as it may seem to the alcoholic (now and during early recovery) can be a huge gift for all involved. The family members can quickly (or slowly, yet it will be progress!!!) find strength, healing and happier days. If the alcoholic does get into solid recovery, there's an easier chance of enjoying time with him/her as there isn't a huge mess of craziness to wade through to 'clean up' emotionally.

SaveHer

My AXBF has tried quitting cold turkey twice in the past two years since we split. The first time, the cops found him with no shoes and no shirt at a park near his mother's house. He told them my daughter and I had been murdered and our bodies were found by the river. When the police brought him to the hospital, in addition to the hallucinations, he started having seizures. The doctors had to put him in a medically-induced coma. The second time was similar (hallucinations and seizures) but I knew fewer details. The doctors told him he has over 50% cirrhosis of the liver. He is 37 years old.

In other words, your husband really needs supervision to wean himself off of the alcohol. His experience may not be the same as my AXBF, but it is a very dangerous risk indeed.