Callas

I tackled sobriety with a plan. I knew I had to. I read extensively about recovery and implemented what I thought could work for me. I worked out a routine including exercise, my already existing sport and hobbies and added some. I do volunteer work and socialise within limits and responsibly. This plan worked for the first 6 months. I felt calm and almost content. My mother passed away, I dealt with that calmly and responsibly. I cleared out her house which was therapeutic in itself. I take care of my mentally disabled sister on a daily basis and feel good about it. I almost felt content.

In months 7 and 8 of sobriety things started changing. Nothing in my life, work or routine changed. I did. I started feeling restless. Wherever I was, I wanted to be somewhere else. Whatever I did, I wanted to do something else. I stuck to my routine, I changed my routine, I added hobbies, I allowed more down time, I stayed in, I went out. Nothing seems to work. I just cannot get rid of this feeling of being restless, irritable, discontent.

I am white-knuckling sobriety now. I am hanging in here hoping to find some semblance of the peace I felt before.

Bekindalways

Ugh. This sounds wretched. The first year is supposed to suck so I'm hoping it will pass for you.

Spit balling here: meditation? Counseling? More exercise? . . . . I really have no idea and wish you luck, courage and better ideas than I have.

least

I don't know if you already do this, but if not, start practicing gratitude every day. It really changed my life. It also makes me happier.

https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/o...pier.html?_r=0

Dee74

Hi Callas

the things that soothed me in my first 6 months didn't necessarily do the job in the next 6 months - and I think thats the way life is...we grow we change and the things we do and the way we live changes too.

Have you got any challenges you want to tackle? Any changes you want to make in the pursuit of happiness?

D

Gabe1980

You are doing awesome so far. Maybe branch out a little and find something that you have a passion for or are really interested in. Keep going. You'll figure this out.

brighterday1234

SoberRican

Hello I too have the same thing. Nervous energy....dont know. I mean I rest when I need to rest. But like at work I really focus kind of go above and beyond not for a pat on the back but im greatful so I try to do my best. At home same thing I always got some little project wether its cleaning a cabinet out. Anything to keep the sauce at bay. Hey 193 days so far . if it aint broke dont fix it. ✌

AAPJ

I have seen least post this link several times and I have (finally) read the article. It's worth a read when one has a few minutes. It's not very long. Five minutes is all you need.

D122y

The company answer is see a dr....however

In my experience as a person that has remained sober and rx drug free for over 4 years....

I had lingering agoraphobia for well over a year. It is mostly gone now, minus occasional anxiety when I do new things. E.g. drive my sister's car on unfamiliar roads.

I exercise 4 to 7 days a week depending on time and health. I am an addict for life and my new doc are natural dopamine, endorphins, and adrenaline.

When I feel jacked up I hit the gym. When I feel normal, i hit the gym. I am an ex party animal turned gym rat. That is cool w me.

Sometimes, I am too busy or whatever to hit the gym and I have to suffer. Suffering is good sometimes. I sit there and roll the tape. If I relapse, I will crave more, then I will get sick, my bp will go up, and i will have to tell sr i relapsed.

No thanks.

I got little singed on another post recently for down talking medication.

If i as a person can't find mental relief and am going to do something drastic, I am going to get help.

Nobody knows exactly how I feel...depressed, suicidal, homicidal, whatever. Mental issues are personal.

I prefer to deal with my shiznit myself, no Dr.

But, if the voices in my head, or whatever, get to be too much, a Dr. will be on the line.

Thanks.

Tetrax

Stay strong Callas, we're in this first year together! Dee's probably right (as per) and now it's time to branch out into new things. I don't really want to but basically have to (long story) but I think it will be good for my recovery if I take baby steps towards a different life, however uncomfortable.

BackandScared

From what I have read and my own experience (but I have less time sober than you) big milestones can be difficult. Perhaps you expected some kind of radical change after the 6 months mark (I know I do; many say addiction looses its grip on you around that point) and you are feeling restless because it is not happening.

Perhaps your discontent is not fully related to your recovery. I agree that focusing on positive things and practising gratitude helps a lot. Being restless can also be a very good thing moving you forward to new places and experiences to be discovered.

Callas

Thank you all for the positive support. Least, I do practise gratitude and I am fully aware of just how lucky I am in so many things. Perhaps I have had things too easy, perhaps I still work on that instant gratification that alcohol provides. I really do not know. In the meantime I will plod on and find motivation here on these platforms like I so often do.

faith823

Hi Callas,

Thank you so much for all the support you have provided to me the last couple of weeks. I am a bit down today and started my own thread. I only have 19 days.
But 19 -Sober days I will take it.
Anyhow I will say a prayer for Callas. I think what you are feeling is normal. From what I read you are very disciplined at tackling your responsibilities. I am not there as of yet. I really need to carve out a plan and your post helped me to realize this. I just wanted to check in and congrat you on your Sober time.
Take care of your self today. Keep posting updates.

DriGuy

For all my answers, advice, and bla, bla, bla, this one stumps me. I would expect it early on, but why you are feeling it now is a mystery. I guess one thing you might do is just keep on white knuckling the way you did with the early cravings. I know it feels like a bit of a gyp to have to go through it twice, but maybe it's something you just have to do. I'm confident that it will end eventually, as long as you don't take a drink.

fini

took me longer than that before i got to that state of affairs, but i did very much get there.
in the end, doing the step-stuff got me out of that, but i know that is not a solution everybody wants, nor did i want it for the longest time.
of course you might also be experiencing things like an underlying condition such as depression , for example.

Epictetus

It could be cognitive dissonance you are experiencing as your being enters into a new paradigm while trying to fully free itself from the clutches of the old paradigm.

It's suspected that's the black pit of what the industry calls "relapses", when people choose to dive back into their old destructive behaviors. Perhaps the suffering while experiencing cognitive dissonance is too much and the choice to go back to the old ways, hell it may be, but better the devil one knows hell it would appear. The old way may suck but it least it's familiar and there's a feeling of belonging.

Callas

Hi Epictetus, you may be right. I do not consider drinking as an option. Being restless and discontent is not a great place to be but it sure beats withdrawal.