I'm back
Snarf Snarf
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
I'm back
I was a member of this site several years ago. I think my original screen name was Snarf5000 but it's been a while.
I was sober for over 7 years until my divorce in 2017. When I stopped drinking in 2010, it was because I had been arrested for my 2nd DUI and I knew my fiancee would leave me if I didn't straighten up. We ended up getting married and having 2 wonderful children. My family was my life. After my divorce, it was really tough on me to not be with my kids every day. I had been their main caretaker because their mother has a demanding job. I picked them up from school every day, fed and bathed them every night before their mom got home...I was with them all the time. Once their mother and I got divorced, I was living by myself for the first time ever. No roommate, no wife, no kids. I settled into a very deep depression, and I turned back to alcohol to "deal" with that depression. When I started drinking again, I told myself it was because it made dating easier. My first couple of dates were awkward because they drank and I didn't, and it was just easier to have a glass of wine than to explain why I didn't drink, and all the baggage that comes with that. But it quickly devolved into me stopping by the liquor store every day after work.
I caught another DUI charge. I ended up losing my house, job, license, dignity, self-respect...but that didn't seem to matter. I drank even more to cover the pain of dealing with those issues.
2 weeks ago I lost one of my best friends of 25+ years to brain cancer. He was 37, and the cancer took his life rather quickly after he was diagnosed. It's one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with. I spent 2 weeks in a dark hole of drinking and drugs. But I know that's not how we would want me to behave. He was always supportive of me and my sobriety and I'm sure he wants me to live a meaningful, purposeful life, not one of drunkeness and depression and anger.
He and his wife never had children, but I do. And they need their father to be clean, sober, and productive, not a drunken jerk. They're so wonderful and amazing and they mean everything to me. So today I decided to get sober again. I'm going back to AA and seeking outpatient treatment at a local clinic.
It's been a really long time since my first Day 1. And I'm hoping there will never have to be another Day 1. This site and the people on it were always a wonderful source of support for me. It's always here, even at 2am when you need to talk but there are no meetings at that time. Thanks for still being here. I'm ready to put in the work and make the right decisions every day to get my life back in order.
I was sober for over 7 years until my divorce in 2017. When I stopped drinking in 2010, it was because I had been arrested for my 2nd DUI and I knew my fiancee would leave me if I didn't straighten up. We ended up getting married and having 2 wonderful children. My family was my life. After my divorce, it was really tough on me to not be with my kids every day. I had been their main caretaker because their mother has a demanding job. I picked them up from school every day, fed and bathed them every night before their mom got home...I was with them all the time. Once their mother and I got divorced, I was living by myself for the first time ever. No roommate, no wife, no kids. I settled into a very deep depression, and I turned back to alcohol to "deal" with that depression. When I started drinking again, I told myself it was because it made dating easier. My first couple of dates were awkward because they drank and I didn't, and it was just easier to have a glass of wine than to explain why I didn't drink, and all the baggage that comes with that. But it quickly devolved into me stopping by the liquor store every day after work.
I caught another DUI charge. I ended up losing my house, job, license, dignity, self-respect...but that didn't seem to matter. I drank even more to cover the pain of dealing with those issues.
2 weeks ago I lost one of my best friends of 25+ years to brain cancer. He was 37, and the cancer took his life rather quickly after he was diagnosed. It's one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with. I spent 2 weeks in a dark hole of drinking and drugs. But I know that's not how we would want me to behave. He was always supportive of me and my sobriety and I'm sure he wants me to live a meaningful, purposeful life, not one of drunkeness and depression and anger.
He and his wife never had children, but I do. And they need their father to be clean, sober, and productive, not a drunken jerk. They're so wonderful and amazing and they mean everything to me. So today I decided to get sober again. I'm going back to AA and seeking outpatient treatment at a local clinic.
It's been a really long time since my first Day 1. And I'm hoping there will never have to be another Day 1. This site and the people on it were always a wonderful source of support for me. It's always here, even at 2am when you need to talk but there are no meetings at that time. Thanks for still being here. I'm ready to put in the work and make the right decisions every day to get my life back in order.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,386
welcome back Tron/Snarf 
It amazes me still how little we think of ourselves. We can do amazing things -I never knew how competent I was until I started building a sober life I loved.
You deserve netter thna what you've been giving yourself man - and two little kids who deserve to have their dad around in the flesh, not just a memory.
I'm really glad you made it back.
D
It amazes me still how little we think of ourselves. We can do amazing things -I never knew how competent I was until I started building a sober life I loved.
You deserve netter thna what you've been giving yourself man - and two little kids who deserve to have their dad around in the flesh, not just a memory.
I'm really glad you made it back.
D
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
welcome, Tron.
if you are ready to do what needs doing, you have a good shot at succeeding.
very sorry to hear about the death of your friend and good to see you wanting to honour his support and friendship by doing what needs doing.
if you are ready to do what needs doing, you have a good shot at succeeding.
very sorry to hear about the death of your friend and good to see you wanting to honour his support and friendship by doing what needs doing.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Glad you have made it back. I am sorry to hear you have had a hard time with your divorce and nit ha ing your children around and also the death of your friend but happy you are getting sober again.
SR is a great place to be in the middle of the night. It was my saviour in those early days/weeks etc when I needed to connect with other alcoholics. I love this site and I go to AA also for face to face . Whatever it takes to stay sober.
SR is a great place to be in the middle of the night. It was my saviour in those early days/weeks etc when I needed to connect with other alcoholics. I love this site and I go to AA also for face to face . Whatever it takes to stay sober.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,057
Welcome back Tron.
You have clearly been through the ringer. I am glad that you are ready to get back on track. Things with your children will be different, but sober you will always be there for them, making good memories.
Might be an idea to forget dating for a while. Sitting across a table to a stranger in a pub is not going to help you get sober at all.
Thank you for the post. It is a reminder that no matter how much sobriety time any of us have, the potential to return to that default setting at times of stress is very real.
Keep posting and I wish you all the best.
You have clearly been through the ringer. I am glad that you are ready to get back on track. Things with your children will be different, but sober you will always be there for them, making good memories.
Might be an idea to forget dating for a while. Sitting across a table to a stranger in a pub is not going to help you get sober at all.
Thank you for the post. It is a reminder that no matter how much sobriety time any of us have, the potential to return to that default setting at times of stress is very real.
Keep posting and I wish you all the best.
Snarf Snarf
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
Thank you. You are 100% correct: No dating for a while. Number one, I'm just not in the kind of place personally where I can give myself to someone else. I have to the best me I can be before I try to invite someone into my life and insert myself into their life.
Number two, I just don't need that pressure in my life right now. I have to focus on being sober and being the best dad that I can. All the other stuff will just complicate that. Until I'm back on my feet and clean and working through the steps, it's just not a good idea.
Number two, I just don't need that pressure in my life right now. I have to focus on being sober and being the best dad that I can. All the other stuff will just complicate that. Until I'm back on my feet and clean and working through the steps, it's just not a good idea.
Originally Posted by Kaily 
Welcome back Tron.
You have clearly been through the ringer. I am glad that you are ready to get back on track. Things with your children will be different, but sober you will always be there for them, making good memories.
Might be an idea to forget dating for a while. Sitting across a table to a stranger in a pub is not going to help you get sober at all.
Thank you for the post. It is a reminder that no matter how much sobriety time any of us have, the potential to return to that default setting at times of stress is very real.
Keep posting and I wish you all the best.
You have clearly been through the ringer. I am glad that you are ready to get back on track. Things with your children will be different, but sober you will always be there for them, making good memories.
Might be an idea to forget dating for a while. Sitting across a table to a stranger in a pub is not going to help you get sober at all.
Thank you for the post. It is a reminder that no matter how much sobriety time any of us have, the potential to return to that default setting at times of stress is very real.
Keep posting and I wish you all the best.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,537
Great to see you, Tron. It's so helpful to talk things over with those who understand.
I also tried to buffer myself from stress by using alcohol. All it does is create more anxiety & misery. I had been sober for 3 yrs. when I decided to have a glass of wine. That glass led me down a dangerous & frightening path - getting sober again was very difficult. I got dui's & my life went off the rails. I guess for me it needed to happen that way - I must have required further proof that I could never be a social drinker. After that terrifying episode, I was convinced.
Congratulations on reclaiming your life. Be proud of yourself.
I also tried to buffer myself from stress by using alcohol. All it does is create more anxiety & misery. I had been sober for 3 yrs. when I decided to have a glass of wine. That glass led me down a dangerous & frightening path - getting sober again was very difficult. I got dui's & my life went off the rails. I guess for me it needed to happen that way - I must have required further proof that I could never be a social drinker. After that terrifying episode, I was convinced.
Congratulations on reclaiming your life. Be proud of yourself.
You've been through some pretty devastating experiences. Good for you for picking yourself up and starting again 
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 1,614
Welcome back my brother. Amazing how much self inflicting crap we put our selves thru. All in the name of booze. Sad right? Hey I feel you on all aspects of what you are going thru. Litterally. Divorce.dui s I am banned for life to drive. But you know what in spite of all that I am humble. Why? I'm sober now. Makes a whole heck of a difference . this aint your first rodeo so you can do this my friend. Lets get you in shape and rebuild your foundation. ✌
Snarf Snarf
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
Went to AA tonight and picked up my 2nd white chip, over 9 years after I picked up my first. I had popped in to the rooms a few times over the last 2 years but never got a chip. There were times I actually left a meeting and went straight to a bar. But not this time.
Thanks for all the kind words and encouragement. I really appreciate it.
Thanks for all the kind words and encouragement. I really appreciate it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Congratulations on getting that white chip. That must have taken some nerve, so you should be proud of yourself.
Be proud of yourself anyway. All those sober years didn't just disappear into the ether. They're there. They are as much of your being as getting back on track is now.
Hold your head up. As you well know, there's nothing having a drink is going to make better, but in sobriety things start to fall into place.
And they'll fall into place for you. It may not seem like it, but with sobriety not only does there come self respect, but respect from our friends and family for getting sober.
Stay sober and I think mended fences await you. The relationship with your children. And all the things in life we lost due to drink, return. Maybe changed, but returned.
I've lost friends to alcohol. Close friends. we were like brothers. One I drank over, and one I stayed sober as he drank himself to death.
I miss them, but I move on knowing they're in a better place.
Life goes on, man. We live it on life's terms.
I'm sorry you have a reason to come back here, but I'm glad you did.
Normalcy and respect and self respect will return if we keep ourselves in order and do the right things.
You're doing them. You've been there. You can return to a wonderful life.
Best to you in sobriety.
Be proud of yourself anyway. All those sober years didn't just disappear into the ether. They're there. They are as much of your being as getting back on track is now.
Hold your head up. As you well know, there's nothing having a drink is going to make better, but in sobriety things start to fall into place.
And they'll fall into place for you. It may not seem like it, but with sobriety not only does there come self respect, but respect from our friends and family for getting sober.
Stay sober and I think mended fences await you. The relationship with your children. And all the things in life we lost due to drink, return. Maybe changed, but returned.
I've lost friends to alcohol. Close friends. we were like brothers. One I drank over, and one I stayed sober as he drank himself to death.
I miss them, but I move on knowing they're in a better place.
Life goes on, man. We live it on life's terms.
I'm sorry you have a reason to come back here, but I'm glad you did.
Normalcy and respect and self respect will return if we keep ourselves in order and do the right things.
You're doing them. You've been there. You can return to a wonderful life.
Best to you in sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 519
Tron,
My heart hurts for the loss you have experienced, it must be extremely hard. But look at you, you realized that you need to take care of you first and here you are. I am sooo proud of you. Throughout all of this pain and struggle and trauma, you are here, opening up and deciding to use our support and get yourself honest and right.
This is amazing, how we can turn to the ego (that wants nothing more than for us to sit in this pain and use) and say, "no more." You should see how brave that is.
I am rooting for you, which is in turn and by consequence rooting for your sobriety, your family, your goals and dreams and your life. You get to have all that and have peace of mind. No doubt in my mind that you have this.
AA has been my foundation and SR has been my family. You're in the right places for sure. Good luck!
My heart hurts for the loss you have experienced, it must be extremely hard. But look at you, you realized that you need to take care of you first and here you are. I am sooo proud of you. Throughout all of this pain and struggle and trauma, you are here, opening up and deciding to use our support and get yourself honest and right.
This is amazing, how we can turn to the ego (that wants nothing more than for us to sit in this pain and use) and say, "no more." You should see how brave that is.
I am rooting for you, which is in turn and by consequence rooting for your sobriety, your family, your goals and dreams and your life. You get to have all that and have peace of mind. No doubt in my mind that you have this.
AA has been my foundation and SR has been my family. You're in the right places for sure. Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 1,068
Tron, I think this is the old you on the forums.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...t-alcohol.html (2500 days without alcohol)
I have not had 2500 days w/o alcohol since I started drinking as teenager in the 1970s. You know what to do and you can do it again.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...t-alcohol.html (2500 days without alcohol)
I have not had 2500 days w/o alcohol since I started drinking as teenager in the 1970s. You know what to do and you can do it again.
Snarf Snarf
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
Wow, you're right. That was/is the old me. I couldn't remember my screen name correctly and I guess I used an old email address to set up the account because I couldn't get the forum to send me an email reset. After your post, my password came back to me immediately and I was able to log back in. Thank you so much.
Guess I gotta change my signature now. Some things have obviously changed.
Guess I gotta change my signature now. Some things have obviously changed.
Originally Posted by AAPJ
Tron, I think this is the old you on the forums.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...t-alcohol.html (2500 days without alcohol)
I have not had 2500 days w/o alcohol since I started drinking as teenager in the 1970s. You know what to do and you can do it again.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...t-alcohol.html (2500 days without alcohol)
I have not had 2500 days w/o alcohol since I started drinking as teenager in the 1970s. You know what to do and you can do it again.
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