Bookend Funerals this Week
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 519
Bookend Funerals this Week
Hi my dear SR Family,
I just got back from service for my best friends father, who suddenly passed this past week. It was extremely difficult to see the level of pain my beloved friend since birth was/is in, but I am SO grateful that I was there to support her, love on her, make her laugh and smile and just be there for her in her time of need. Not once did I think of drinking, I only thought of her and her father and this significant moment. I felt everything, and I am appreciative of that.
This upcoming weekend, I will memorialize my mentor, who was a grandfather figure to me for the past 7 years. He was my teacher, my friend, my trusted confidante and just an excellent example of what a human being should be. I did not get a chance to say goodbye to him, and I hurt over this. But I know that it is all ok and he knew how much he meant to me. I will live my life as he did, with genuine love and kindness and passion in helping others. I will smile when I think of him, and remember the good times.
Sobriety's gifts come in many shapes and forms. For me, this week shows me that I am able to handle loss and grief with grace and a gentle heart, a heart that can feel pain and a soul that can grow in love and understanding and self-love, which is resulting in a softer, sweeter support for those I cherish. I am true and honest with feelings, and for once, I can welcome them, not drink over them.
I just got back from service for my best friends father, who suddenly passed this past week. It was extremely difficult to see the level of pain my beloved friend since birth was/is in, but I am SO grateful that I was there to support her, love on her, make her laugh and smile and just be there for her in her time of need. Not once did I think of drinking, I only thought of her and her father and this significant moment. I felt everything, and I am appreciative of that.
This upcoming weekend, I will memorialize my mentor, who was a grandfather figure to me for the past 7 years. He was my teacher, my friend, my trusted confidante and just an excellent example of what a human being should be. I did not get a chance to say goodbye to him, and I hurt over this. But I know that it is all ok and he knew how much he meant to me. I will live my life as he did, with genuine love and kindness and passion in helping others. I will smile when I think of him, and remember the good times.
Sobriety's gifts come in many shapes and forms. For me, this week shows me that I am able to handle loss and grief with grace and a gentle heart, a heart that can feel pain and a soul that can grow in love and understanding and self-love, which is resulting in a softer, sweeter support for those I cherish. I am true and honest with feelings, and for once, I can welcome them, not drink over them.
I am glad you stayed sober. 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 519
Hi Mango,
I am doing much better. I have been humbled in a way by these losses. Learning not to take small things so seriously and really live life everyday with love and gratitude.
Thank you for asking, how are you?
I am doing much better. I have been humbled in a way by these losses. Learning not to take small things so seriously and really live life everyday with love and gratitude.
Thank you for asking, how are you?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 1,068
Hi NicLin,
Sorry to hear of your losses. May I add another perspective to this? Sudden passing is often a shock to those of us that remain. We did not get time to say goodbye etc. All true. But my grandfather and my mother would say that sudden death is often a blessing for the person who passed. Both lived into their 90s. Both outlived their spouses. What they told me as their wisdom on death is that the worst thing to see or experience is a slow rotting in a nursing home death. In their view a fast unexpected death is the best end game situation. Unfortunately neither of them got their wish for sudden death. My grandfather rotted away for two years before passing in a nursing home. And my mother... she's still rotting in a nursing home right now. Can't get out of bed any more. I visited her yesterday and she was appreciative of my visit (the good) but as usual she asked me to pray for her death (sad). Death sucks but it is a guaranteed part of life.
Sorry to hear of your losses. May I add another perspective to this? Sudden passing is often a shock to those of us that remain. We did not get time to say goodbye etc. All true. But my grandfather and my mother would say that sudden death is often a blessing for the person who passed. Both lived into their 90s. Both outlived their spouses. What they told me as their wisdom on death is that the worst thing to see or experience is a slow rotting in a nursing home death. In their view a fast unexpected death is the best end game situation. Unfortunately neither of them got their wish for sudden death. My grandfather rotted away for two years before passing in a nursing home. And my mother... she's still rotting in a nursing home right now. Can't get out of bed any more. I visited her yesterday and she was appreciative of my visit (the good) but as usual she asked me to pray for her death (sad). Death sucks but it is a guaranteed part of life.
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