Is there really no such thing as a perfect time to quit?
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Join Date: Aug 2014
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Is there really no such thing as a perfect time to quit?
Truthfully, my experience says otherwise.
Of course, I'm talking relativity....but what do you think? What's your true experience? Was there really NO good time to quit?
Of course, I'm talking relativity....but what do you think? What's your true experience? Was there really NO good time to quit?
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Boston MA
Posts: 726
So bizarre how you just brought this topic up. I was in a meeting today and was just reflecting on it. I have heard many times and this again came up today.
"I needed to drink every drink to convince myself that I was ready" "if you do not think you belong here go out and drink some more " I know these statements are meant to mean well. I know in most cases they are absolutely true. But these statements have triggered me in the past. I am so lucky I have another chance. I have lost everything but my life. I need to stay in the day and remain grateful. Luckily my parents are letting me stay with them so I will not be alone. I have eight days sober and almost had a full blown temper tantrum because they only have tea with caffeine in the house. I really want decaf herbal tea. How am I suppose to fall asleep?? Sorry just another reason why I need to be mindful and glad I made the decision to quit when I did.
Thanks!
"I needed to drink every drink to convince myself that I was ready" "if you do not think you belong here go out and drink some more " I know these statements are meant to mean well. I know in most cases they are absolutely true. But these statements have triggered me in the past. I am so lucky I have another chance. I have lost everything but my life. I need to stay in the day and remain grateful. Luckily my parents are letting me stay with them so I will not be alone. I have eight days sober and almost had a full blown temper tantrum because they only have tea with caffeine in the house. I really want decaf herbal tea. How am I suppose to fall asleep?? Sorry just another reason why I need to be mindful and glad I made the decision to quit when I did.
Thanks!
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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I think the saying reflects the fact that there will always be a bad feeling to deal with, a bad day to get through, or a chance to go get wasted.
On the other hand, the day I quit, in retrospect, really was the perfect day to quit
D
On the other hand, the day I quit, in retrospect, really was the perfect day to quit
D
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Boston MA
Posts: 726
Originally Posted by Dee74 
I think the saying reflects the fact that there will always be a bad feeling to deal with, a bad day to get through, or a chance to go get wasted.
On the other hand, the day I quit, in retrospect, really was the perfect day to quit
D
On the other hand, the day I quit, in retrospect, really was the perfect day to quit
D
I am going to write this down in my sober journal
I need to ask for help from another alcoholic going forward
. I knew in my heart of hearts that is exactly how I was going to feel every time I picked up before a relapsed (my alcoholic mind was telling me it will not be that bad)I was going to have to deal with another rush of bad feelings and another wasted chance. Very very painful feelings.
Thanks
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Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 67
I woke up on a typical Tuesday morning, and by lunchtime I was looking forward to getting home to a big fat glass of wine and a puff of cannabis. That afternoon I saw a research presentation that was related to alcohol dependence, and it just clicked that I couldn't keep trying to pretend my drinking wasn't at problem levels. I am a health professional, and it has been deeply upsetting that I don't practice what I preach. No pomp and circumstance, no coming down from a crazy bender, just a moment of clarity that I'm not getting any younger and my problem isn't getting any better. My birthday was two days later so I had a thought to wait until after, but I was afraid by then I would be back to justifying my abuse. A random Tuesday seems as good a day as any. You could make your day today, if you want.
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 453
I had all the perfect days to quit: first day of a vacation, last day of a vacation, any holiday, the day after any holiday, after an especially bad bender, any time my withdrawals were really nasty; I did really extensive numerological analyses of the perfect day: 3/3/03 or maybe 3/30/03 because it would be easy to remember, or the birthday of my favorite singer or maybe January 1st of this year or next year or maybe the next year, or after that one friend visited, or when I didn't have enough money to buy a bottle.
My favorite, most perfect day to quit?
Tomorrow.
The perfect day for me to quit was when I finally gave up and admitted defeat. I couldn't live with or without alcohol and I vowed I would do whatever I was told. That I needed help.
But it was an internal event--I was finally willing to quit for good. External events like "the perfect day" were just a smokescreen for me to keep drinking.
The perfect day to quit will always be today.
PS Oops, sorry. Just realized that you asked about "the perfect time," but for me, it was always "the perfect day." Hope you don't mind my slight reinterpretation.
My favorite, most perfect day to quit?
Tomorrow.
The perfect day for me to quit was when I finally gave up and admitted defeat. I couldn't live with or without alcohol and I vowed I would do whatever I was told. That I needed help.
But it was an internal event--I was finally willing to quit for good. External events like "the perfect day" were just a smokescreen for me to keep drinking.
The perfect day to quit will always be today.
PS Oops, sorry. Just realized that you asked about "the perfect time," but for me, it was always "the perfect day." Hope you don't mind my slight reinterpretation.
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,057
Every time I even thought about quitting I needed a drink in my hand to even begin to process the thought and begin to plan my attack.
Needless to say it took me a long time to find my perfect time. Unbeknown to me it was the ' now ' all along.
Needless to say it took me a long time to find my perfect time. Unbeknown to me it was the ' now ' all along.
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Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Stockport/Greater Manchester/Cheshire
Posts: 911
The feelings of injustice, fear,anger, loss, grief hit me when I tried to make the decision.
With the benefit of hindsight like quite a few have said it’s the ‘now’ that is the perfect time to begin recovery and make a new beautiful life.
With the benefit of hindsight like quite a few have said it’s the ‘now’ that is the perfect time to begin recovery and make a new beautiful life.
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Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,920
Originally Posted by Anna
I think there was always a reason/excuse for me to not stop drinking. This kept me putting it off for months and months.
I could be wrong, but I feel some place too much emphasis on counselling or meetings. Whilst these help many, there’s only one person who can make a drinker quit.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Washington State USA
Posts: 79
Quitting drinking and drugging was never my problem, I must have done it hundreds of times. Many mornings I would swear off and say this is the day. It was the staying quit. With help from higher power, working through and with others, having a program.... whatever it takes to stay quit is what I'll do one day at a time. I don't ever need to go back to that old life because I have been relieved of the insanity. Thank you SR, thank you AA, thank you everyone.
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,152
Asking the question that qualifies it with "perfect day to quit" throws an unanticipated wrinkle at me. I suppose no day is the perfect day, because no day is ever perfect. There can always be a better day (or a worse day). Therefore, no day is the perfect day to quit. Some days may be better or easier days to quit. I think that's a bad question because it opens the door to the excuse that there may be a better day to quit, without recognizing that every day can also be a good day to quit.
I hate to say it, but those people in your AA meeting that say, "If you're not ready to quit, go back out and drink some more," might be right. I hate it because it's too close to home. I did not quit until I was ready, even though I knew I had to. I guess things had to get worse, but I wish I had quit years before, when I look at it now.
I hate to say it, but those people in your AA meeting that say, "If you're not ready to quit, go back out and drink some more," might be right. I hate it because it's too close to home. I did not quit until I was ready, even though I knew I had to. I guess things had to get worse, but I wish I had quit years before, when I look at it now.
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 245
Hey buddy - I am really happy to see you around, was getting worried!
So my take is that every day that you quit on your own will is a good day to do it. If there comes to a point you have to quit against your will, then that is probably a bad day to quit.
So my take is that every day that you quit on your own will is a good day to do it. If there comes to a point you have to quit against your will, then that is probably a bad day to quit.
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Georgia, USA
Posts: 2,229
They say the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago, but the next best time is today. I think it's like that with recovery, too.
Now is always the best time to quit, every time.
If something is coming up that you think will make it hard, it's no wonder, since things like that will be coming up all the time. It's life. If we wait until it looks like there's nothing but smooth sailing for weeks ahead, something difficult will still come up.
Once I got a little time without a drink, and saw I had a great chance of staying sober, I only wished I could have quit sooner. Like, 20 years sooner would have been great! I don't think anyone ever thinks to themselves, 'gosh, I wish I had waited a few months to quit'.
Now is always the best time to quit, every time.
If something is coming up that you think will make it hard, it's no wonder, since things like that will be coming up all the time. It's life. If we wait until it looks like there's nothing but smooth sailing for weeks ahead, something difficult will still come up.
Once I got a little time without a drink, and saw I had a great chance of staying sober, I only wished I could have quit sooner. Like, 20 years sooner would have been great! I don't think anyone ever thinks to themselves, 'gosh, I wish I had waited a few months to quit'.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,350
Originally Posted by brighterday1234
I quit when I was at the jumping off point.
It seemed like more of a reaction like pulling your hand away from a fire rather than a decision to quit drinking. Too bad it had to come to that. I endured a lot of needless suffering that could have ended with me deciding earlier to just let the alcohol go.
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Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
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Originally Posted by DriGuy
I hate to say it, but those people in your AA meeting that say, "If you're not ready to quit, go back out and drink some more,".
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Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 741
It's either the 12 & 12 or the big book. Practice some controlled drinking. This is one of the points i distinctly remember my sponsor and I discussing. It still cracks me up. The way WE think you just have to laugh sometimes. Normal people don't need to practice controlled drinking. Maybe this can be taken as mean but that's the reality of the situation. It's a mean disease. I agreed, I really need to ask myself if I need to practice anymore controlled drinking. John Barleycorn had become our best advocate.
The way I see it if I practice more controlled drinking I run a high risk of bad things happening. If today is not a good day to quit drinking bad things are on the way. For me NOTHING GOOD HAPPENS ANYMORE WHEN I DRINK! It's just so much easier said then done. We just don't learn. We do it again and again. Like the guy in the big book that runs out in front of cars.
It's always a good day to quit.
I use to think step 3 was the most important. With God I can do anything, right? Well sort of but... Then I saw an old video of a catholic priest. You might think, especially if not religous, what is a priest going to teach me about getting sober. He died about 10 years ago but was a hard drinker who nearly got kicked out of the church and was sober like the last, I forget how many decades of his life. I thought it was a really great explanation of step 1.
On YouTube "Step one with Father Martin".
The way I see it if I practice more controlled drinking I run a high risk of bad things happening. If today is not a good day to quit drinking bad things are on the way. For me NOTHING GOOD HAPPENS ANYMORE WHEN I DRINK! It's just so much easier said then done. We just don't learn. We do it again and again. Like the guy in the big book that runs out in front of cars.
It's always a good day to quit.
I use to think step 3 was the most important. With God I can do anything, right? Well sort of but... Then I saw an old video of a catholic priest. You might think, especially if not religous, what is a priest going to teach me about getting sober. He died about 10 years ago but was a hard drinker who nearly got kicked out of the church and was sober like the last, I forget how many decades of his life. I thought it was a really great explanation of step 1.
On YouTube "Step one with Father Martin".
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,350
Originally Posted by RecklessDrunk
It's either the 12 & 12 or the big book. Practice some controlled drinking. This is one of the points i distinctly remember my sponsor and I discussing. It still cracks me up. The way WE think you just have to laugh sometimes. Normal people don't need to practice controlled drinking. Maybe this can be taken as mean but that's the reality of the situation. It's a mean disease. I agreed, I really need to ask myself if I need to practice anymore controlled drinking. John Barleycorn had become our best advocate.
The way I see it if I practice more controlled drinking I run a high risk of bad things happening. If today is not a good day to quit drinking bad things are on the way. For me NOTHING GOOD HAPPENS ANYMORE WHEN I DRINK! It's just so much easier said then done. We just don't learn. We do it again and again. Like the guy in the big book that runs out in front of cars.
It's always a good day to quit.
I use to think step 3 was the most important. With God I can do anything, right? Well sort of but... Then I saw an old video of a catholic priest. You might think, especially if not religous, what is a priest going to teach me about getting sober. He died about 10 years ago but was a hard drinker who nearly got kicked out of the church and was sober like the last, I forget how many decades of his life. I thought it was a really great explanation of step 1.
On YouTube "Step one with Father Martin".
The way I see it if I practice more controlled drinking I run a high risk of bad things happening. If today is not a good day to quit drinking bad things are on the way. For me NOTHING GOOD HAPPENS ANYMORE WHEN I DRINK! It's just so much easier said then done. We just don't learn. We do it again and again. Like the guy in the big book that runs out in front of cars.
It's always a good day to quit.
I use to think step 3 was the most important. With God I can do anything, right? Well sort of but... Then I saw an old video of a catholic priest. You might think, especially if not religous, what is a priest going to teach me about getting sober. He died about 10 years ago but was a hard drinker who nearly got kicked out of the church and was sober like the last, I forget how many decades of his life. I thought it was a really great explanation of step 1.
On YouTube "Step one with Father Martin".
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