Resentments
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 1,614
Resentments
I bet as a sober person you've probably encountered resentment over the fact that others in your circle still drink. No doubt there are people you know who have a worse problem than you. That's probably why you picked them to drink within the first place. Maybe they've had multiple DUIs like me, terrible relationships and resentment of their own that perpetuate their problem yet they continue to drink it's hard not to notice these defects in others after you've spent so much time and effort addressing your own missteps you can't change them. The only thing you can do is look at their lives as a learning lesson and continue on your own path to sobriety. the spiritually connected person that you are now probably wants to share with them the peace and serenity of your sobriety it's understandable that you want to save others from the path of Destruction, but the best thing for you to do is to see observe take note and continue to do the hard work of staying sober if they decide to follow your example then help them in every way you can if not send them peace and love and then let your resentment go so that you can maintain your own health. ✌
waking down
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 4,641
I wouldn't call it resentment, but I do get sad when I see people continuing to ruin their lives and their health. I think you are absolutely right that the best thing you can do is be a role model so others can see sober people who are happy and healthy. Before my recovery shifted from angst and desperation to calm happiness and productivity I mostly kept to myself. Once I felt I had become a proper role model I put myself out there. I spend a lot of time (mostly because I'm a musician) around people who drink and drug. I never say anything about their use. All I have to do is be me until people notice and ask. Only then will I talk about it. The only exception to this is in song. I do sing songs about addiction and recovery, but many are either humorous or masked unless a person is really paying attention. The road to sobriety starts with questioning and with contemplation and people have a hard time envisioning a different kind of life if they don't see examples of it that are desirable.
I was at an outdoor camping music festival, and day three one of the hard partying young men camped next door was all strung out and started asking how, being an older dude, how I have so much energy. I explained that I pace myself and I don't use. He said he had noticed (his group offered me all manner of drink, smoke, and more). At one point he looked at me and said, "I want to be you when I'm your age." That was the moment I realized I was becoming the wise old man I hoped I would become when I was younger.
I was at an outdoor camping music festival, and day three one of the hard partying young men camped next door was all strung out and started asking how, being an older dude, how I have so much energy. I explained that I pace myself and I don't use. He said he had noticed (his group offered me all manner of drink, smoke, and more). At one point he looked at me and said, "I want to be you when I'm your age." That was the moment I realized I was becoming the wise old man I hoped I would become when I was younger.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 1,614
Just to clarify you is right. I dont resent it per se. Does it suck we cant booze like normal folks? We earned the cant booze anymore card. lol. And quite frankly I'm blessed to earn that card. Booze free for 173 days.
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,352
I feel bad for those who I know that are struggling to get free from alcohol or who aren't even trying. I know how bad a struggle with sugar and if someone who had beat that addiction told me they were resentful of me still poisoning myself I would think they were crazy. I'd offer to trade places with them. Normal people didn't use alcohol the way I did so they aren't even on the radar.
The opposite of addiction is connection.
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 373
Nice topic, SoberRican. I actually have a friend from detox in August that went back out. We were detox roommates and bonded there. We pledged to keep in touch after we got out and to support each other. I’m sad that he’s picked up again. We’ve texted, but my IOP group has advised that in early recovery I need to keep my own sobriety boundaries. He needs to be willing. I agree with this, but it still makes me feel helpless.
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