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Drinking is boring, but so is life

Old 09-27-2019, 12:20 PM
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Drinking is boring, but so is life

I don't like drinking, it's boring. But now and again I forget how boring it is and the idea will get in my head and there'd be an internal argument and then I'd be back again, drinking . Of couse I'd be back drinking, because I've had the internal argument. Once I get that far, the decision has been taken.
First thing is, I wonder if I should have a drink? Then it's no, no you're not doing that. That's usually where the idea dies. But occasionally the urge is more insistent and returns with a justification with supporting arguments, there's this and that to do, I'm going here and seeing so and so and I can stop properly at such and such a date, and then the response is weaker, no, you can't drink, think what it leads to. But it's a token response, for once the discussion has gained a foothold then really it's all over. The arguments against are futile and I'd know it.
The best part of drinking is when the decision to drink has been made. What inevitably follows is a disappointment which can only be alleviated by more drinking and more disappointment and more drinking and more disappointment and so on.
When truly sober, in a truly sober stretch, I never avoided being around alcohol. The times in pubs with drunks while holding a soft drink for most of the evening were enlightening experiences.
I calculated that the time it took for drinkers to become tiresome was 105 minutes. I can be so precise because that's the time a football match lasts if you're including half time. If I'd gone to watch a match in a pub with some drinking friends I'd notice how stupid everyone seemed at the final whistle - lack of awareness, repeating themselves for example. I'd then just be a detached observer. I'd hang about because as tiresome as it was, at least it was something.
But really, what else is there to do? Learn how to play the accordion in order to be able to teach others how to play the accordion? Join in and help the homeless by writing them a musical to perform in, in exchange for food vouchers? Start a charity installing stairlifts in bungalows? There's got to be something else to fill the empty hole. That's why there are sites like this, and I'm very glad there are because I'm using it right now to occupy my time instead of going round the supermarket for lager.
The fact is life is boring. No animal has leisure time to fill. It's constant nest building and feeding and sleeping and feeding and sleeping and feeding with only the occasional seasonal bunk for relief.
If only I had some great interest, something I really cared about, and I don't mean some time filler charity shop type thing to stop the inner yawning.
Life is boring and there's not much we can do about that unless you are passionate about something - and how many people really are passionate about anything? Of course they're not passionate; look at them.
Drinking is a little escape hatch that we excitedly clamber through, not realising that it leads into a maximum security prison.
Yes drink is boring, but the only relationships I've ever had have been with women I've met when I've been drinking. I've never met a woman in a library, a bus shelter or a slaugterhouse. Drink is the only way we meet anyone. Think of the cultures that don't drink; they've got no chance, they have to have their parents do it for them.
Drink is boring. But sometimes - like now for instance - it does seem to offer something else. Something different, a new landscape.
I'm just writing to ward off the luring alcohol bitch that's whispering sweet vacancies in my earholes.
I'm using this to get through this evening sober. It's a resource right.
The problem is, I can handle drink but I can't handle sobriety.
Have a nice evening, morning, afternoon, wherever you are.
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Old 09-27-2019, 12:55 PM
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What can I say. Well written and quite funny and yes, regretfully I agree with you. Perhaps you should heed the advice of Tony Sopranos uncle and I paraphrase: life...sometimes it’s smooth, sometimes it’s rough, and in between we look for pleasures where we find them.
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Old 09-27-2019, 01:21 PM
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Knowing now the difference between the two, I would much rather be bored sober than bored drunk. I can live with being bored but the aftereffects of drinking I cannot tolerate.
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Old 09-27-2019, 01:28 PM
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While I understand some of what you're feeling I guess the older I've gotten the more I've come to appreciate that much of the satisfaction and even excitement (as opposed to your bout of meaningless boredom) that life offers is through fulfilling the responsibility and obligation our life presents. I don't know how old you are but even without the spouse or kids, there are things we should tend to and take care of. Drinking doesn't aid in those missions.

Love the Tony Soprano quote. Sad to think the actor died so young bc he gave in to his vices.

Thanks for the post Tap.
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Old 09-27-2019, 01:42 PM
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Very interesting post, but I'm not sure life is boring. It's far more boring for me overall when drinking because it instantly knocks out most of the hobbies I might have when sober. I can't read, and I've just spent today creeping myself out with a book which is [probably not a good idea in early sobriety! I can't play video games, communicate properly or do hardly anything! I can just about follow tv programmes, but usually forget them by the next day.

I don't think you need burning passion, but you probably have to invest some time and energy into things to get something out of it. My life is definitely too empty, and that's a big problem when drink wants to consume everything. I'm thinking about cross trainier, learning to play the piano maybe, art, all sorts...

The way being sociable is so tied up with alcohol in the western world is annoying though, I'll give you that.
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Old 09-27-2019, 01:47 PM
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Originally Posted by lessgravity View Post
While I understand some of what you're feeling I guess the older I've gotten the more I've come to appreciate that much of the satisfaction and even excitement (as opposed to your bout of meaningless boredom) that life offers is through fulfilling the responsibility and obligation our life presents. I don't know how old you are but even without the spouse or kids, there are things we should tend to and take care of. Drinking doesn't aid in those missions.

Love the Tony Soprano quote. Sad to think the actor died so young bc he gave in to his vices.

Thanks for the post Tap.
James Gandolfini had a heart attack. It wasn't because of any substance abuse.
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Old 09-27-2019, 02:26 PM
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I like to exercise, play tennis, read, watch TV, listen to music, talk & laugh with friends.
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Old 09-27-2019, 03:11 PM
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well, wry writing or not, I'm sorry you're still drinking Tap.

I hope you give yourself the chance to experience recovery.
More than just a sober spell, more than just a break.

I regained a life. Life versus existence.

I genuinely think you'll be surprised at how different it is to what you imagine.

D
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Old 09-27-2019, 03:43 PM
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Originally Posted by PuckLuck View Post
James Gandolfini had a heart attack. It wasn't because of any substance abuse.
​​​​​Do you think the vices of alcohol and food indulgence might have been the major contributing factors?
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Old 09-27-2019, 04:42 PM
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Originally Posted by lessgravity View Post
​​​​​Do you think the vices of alcohol and food indulgence might have been the major contributing factors?
Just for the record, not that it matters I suppose, but Jimmy was morbidly obese, and, in fact, just before his heart attack that evening he polished off a few drinks and an estimated five thousand five hundred calorie restaurant meal at the very fancy Boscolo Exedra (13-yr-old son at the table with him).

As for you, Mr. Tap, I can tell there's a hidden creative man somewhere inside of you, but creativity and drinking are mortal enemies.
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Old 09-27-2019, 04:58 PM
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Hey Tap

Well, yeah, life can be boring. I sit here on day 3 after surgery and I'm bored stiff. Even my dog is bored....my ex agreed to take him for the night so he has another dog to play with.

I grew up in a really crazy family. Crazy became my defacto base line of what life was like. And for a long time crazy, chaotic, dramatic....that was 'exciting'. And if there wasn't at least a bit a crazy going on, I'd be sure and create some. I guess that's why my alcohol addiction was just so 'exciting' because it sure does create some crazy. Until that crazy became deadly...

So I got nothing really. Other than to say this it is my moral obligation to be responsible. And that whole adulting thing just isn't all that fun sometimes. But gotta grow up sometime I guess.

Passion? Nah. I don't have it. But I can be ok with things being ok. And who ever said life has to be exciting? I guess sapiens have spent the bulk of our existence just trying to survive. It almost seems like we do best emotionally and communally when we are working together to survive some challenge or shared trauma. Now that we are all so darn comfy (ok not all, but many), lots of food, shelter and no animals trying to eat us, we're just bored. We eat too much, drink too much, sit on our azzes too much and ponder our navels.

So I'll have to settle for the 3 cute lil college freshman that came home to visit me tonight. And enjoy the helluva cake I baked for them. I'll watch the news, eat some leftovers and sleep well.

Could be worse.
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Old 09-27-2019, 05:25 PM
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My mom used to say if you're bored you're just not using your imagination.

And/or your dopamine reward system is so wracked from a lifetime of poison that even this absolutely intense stranger-than-fiction-you-can't-make-this-crap-up world seems boring.

Clarity is the new high.
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Old 09-27-2019, 05:53 PM
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I find when I was drinking life was more boring and hollow. I'd be too riddled with anxiety after drinking that I couldn't functionand enjoy life like I wanted.

My creative pursuits like music production, I couldn't be bothered when drinking.

Gym, I can't do it when drinking. Even movies and TV shows I couldn't do properly as I'd always be too drunk to enjoy or remember them.

Everything is more interesting sober.
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Old 09-27-2019, 06:01 PM
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I think the Soprano's quote was from Uncle June, Tony's Uncle....Not Tony.
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Old 09-27-2019, 10:02 PM
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Yes I did say in my post it was from Tony’s uncle. And I think it was uncle Junior.
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Old 09-27-2019, 10:58 PM
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Funny that Sopranos was mentioned. I bought the box set several years and binge watched over several weeks or months whilst drinking. I often fell asleep during an episode and probably ended up watching or remembering less than half the entire series. I’ll have to rewatch it now I’m sober. Drinking didn’t enhance that experience.
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Old 09-27-2019, 11:52 PM
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Originally Posted by taplow View Post
I don't like drinking, it's boring. But now and again I forget how boring it is and the idea will get in my head and there'd be an internal argument and then I'd be back again, drinking . Of couse I'd be back drinking, because I've had the internal argument. Once I get that far, the decision has been taken.
First thing is, I wonder if I should have a drink? Then it's no, no you're not doing that. That's usually where the idea dies. But occasionally the urge is more insistent and returns with a justification with supporting arguments, there's this and that to do, I'm going here and seeing so and so and I can stop properly at such and such a date, and then the response is weaker, no, you can't drink, think what it leads to. But it's a token response, for once the discussion has gained a foothold then really it's all over. The arguments against are futile and I'd know it.
The best part of drinking is when the decision to drink has been made. What inevitably follows is a disappointment which can only be alleviated by more drinking and more disappointment and more drinking and more disappointment and so on.
When truly sober, in a truly sober stretch, I never avoided being around alcohol. The times in pubs with drunks while holding a soft drink for most of the evening were enlightening experiences.
I calculated that the time it took for drinkers to become tiresome was 105 minutes. I can be so precise because that's the time a football match lasts if you're including half time. If I'd gone to watch a match in a pub with some drinking friends I'd notice how stupid everyone seemed at the final whistle - lack of awareness, repeating themselves for example. I'd then just be a detached observer. I'd hang about because as tiresome as it was, at least it was something.
But really, what else is there to do? Learn how to play the accordion in order to be able to teach others how to play the accordion? Join in and help the homeless by writing them a musical to perform in, in exchange for food vouchers? Start a charity installing stairlifts in bungalows? There's got to be something else to fill the empty hole. That's why there are sites like this, and I'm very glad there are because I'm using it right now to occupy my time instead of going round the supermarket for lager.
The fact is life is boring. No animal has leisure time to fill. It's constant nest building and feeding and sleeping and feeding and sleeping and feeding with only the occasional seasonal bunk for relief.
If only I had some great interest, something I really cared about, and I don't mean some time filler charity shop type thing to stop the inner yawning.
Life is boring and there's not much we can do about that unless you are passionate about something - and how many people really are passionate about anything? Of course they're not passionate; look at them.
Drinking is a little escape hatch that we excitedly clamber through, not realising that it leads into a maximum security prison.
Yes drink is boring, but the only relationships I've ever had have been with women I've met when I've been drinking. I've never met a woman in a library, a bus shelter or a slaugterhouse. Drink is the only way we meet anyone. Think of the cultures that don't drink; they've got no chance, they have to have their parents do it for them.
Drink is boring. But sometimes - like now for instance - it does seem to offer something else. Something different, a new landscape.
I'm just writing to ward off the luring alcohol bitch that's whispering sweet vacancies in my earholes.
I'm using this to get through this evening sober. It's a resource right.
The problem is, I can handle drink but I can't handle sobriety.
Have a nice evening, morning, afternoon, wherever you are.
This is exactly how I feel x
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Old 09-28-2019, 12:27 AM
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Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time. When I discovered the serenity that recovery offers, I realized that nothing is a waste of time.
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Old 09-28-2019, 12:54 AM
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Entropy, really good share that resonates with me on all levels. Thanks.

I remember one of my college roommates telling me that I was the kind of person who could make a trip to the drugstore fun. I loved that- it reminds me now that I can find silly, fun, interesting in anything or anywhere if I try. And when it's my go to most of the time like it is in sobriety, boring isn't an issue.
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Old 09-28-2019, 04:14 AM
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I’ve come to believe that we describe life using words like “boring”, “dull”, etc. because we’ve come to expect too much of it. Society tells us that exciting, zany days at the office followed up by endless social drunken parties are the norm, with fulfilling charity endeavors in conjunction with a hilarious life partner thrown into the mix. Who really lives like that? And how we’ve set ourselves up for disappointment to expect it.

I continue to struggle with understanding what I’ve come to see as the balance between contentment and happiness. The distinction for me is that contentment represents what I create for myself day-to-day...a job well done, a clean house, investment in my health, showing up for life. Happiness is sprinkled in...a great joke, pride when DS takes initiative...but happiness is beyond my control and dependent on the actions of others. So I choose to enjoy my contentment, and appreciate happiness when it occasionally rears its head.

Alcohol stole contentment, the gift I can give myself.
Just my thoughts...
-bora
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