Hanna

I found SR in 2009 when I learned my brother was an opiate addict. It helped me so much, immediately. I came back in 2011 when he tried to kill himself - he sent me a text message saying goodbye. I stuck around with him until he got into rehab and have shared here over the years when he hit milestones - he was clean for 7 years.

This week I found out for sure that he is using opiates again. It's an ugly story and I don't feel like sharing all the details right now, but I was with him for 2 days earlier this week on a journey to get medical help for his back. It took me about 24 hours of being around him to know for sure that he was using again and not just for back pain relief.

He was incredibly disrespectful to me, of course because as the sticky says, that's what addicts do. I took time out of my life, away from my husband, home and work to be with him and I am not sorry for that.
But in the end I let him know that he has now received the last of my time or money that he will ever get. Now all he will get is love, support and unsolicited advice when I cannot help myself.

I am also hurting badly for both me but mostly for my husband over what's happening with my Step Son. Without a doubt he is on the path of an addict. His mother bought him a brand new luxury car now, so he's not experiencing consequences for his being expelled or his drug use, but instead being rewarded for abandoning his father. He's being very cruel.

I am so grateful for 12 step programs, especially al-anon and also for soberrecovery. I am not sure that I could handle any of this without the things I have learned over the years here and through al-anon teachings. It hurts, but I am not in despair. I am especially grateful that I can see both situations with clear eyes. There is very loud quacking going on but thanks to all of this experience I know what a duck sounds like and recognize it's not my fault or mine to fix.

Ilovemysonjj

I am sorry to hear about your brothers relapse, but you are STRONG and you know the 3 C's. I understand how hard it is to detach after such a good long run of sobriety. Keeping you and your family in my prayers.

Hanna

Thank you! We really appreciate the prayers.

Ann

This, dear Hanna, is your recovery shining through.
I am sorry for your brother's relapse and pray he will get back on a good path soon. Your words to him were very kind, that you will continue to love and support him, but no longer give up your life to help his, because in the end that's all we can do...and pray.

Our stories do not always have happy endings for the addicted loved ones, but they do for us when we find the clarity to see that this is all out of our hands. Turning my son's care over to God each morning, is the best I can do, and keep the faith that one day my son may see the light of a better path.

Thank you for sharing this, it lifted my heart this morning.

Troubledone

So sorry to hear about this turn of events. Prayers for both you and your brother.

Hanna

Ann, I passed your prayer for your son over to my husband today - when he said how terribly hard this is I suggested he give his son's care to God each day.

Thank you for this.

hopeful4

Sending prayers and strength your way, along with many hugs!