tatersalad

Dee74

Welcome back tatersalad

if you'll take some advice try a few things differently this time - think about what happened and why this time and how you might deal with whatever it was better this time

D

biminiblue

One day at a time works if there is conviction behind it.

Like, once I decided that I wasn't going to drink again no matter what, then I took each day's lessons as they came. It does start with the unequivocal decision, I believe.

Sobertoday54

gypsytears

Do you have a plan to deal with the alcohol calling you once you’re feeling better? I too, found it easy to not drink in the midst of throwing up for a few painful days after binging but once I truly took alcohol off the table recovery became infinitely easier.

August252015

Glad you are here. Echo the suggestions of taking action along with the most important part of not drinking - I started AA right away and made very safe decisions about what I did and who I spent time with, all meant to keep me focused on the not drinking as I could give myself a chance to find a new life.

doggonecarl

I found I didn't have to remember how bad I felt to remain sober. I only had to remember my decision to never drink again.

tatersalad

tatersalad

August252015

It makes sense- but most of us find it's not enough. It's not exactly about "focusing on the alcohol" - but learning how to NOT drink as a choice for dealing with life has to be something at the bottom of your change pyramid, if you will.

Then we can add all those good things you mention to our sober lives, primarily because we want to enjoy them, do them well, and live with clarity and contentment.

DriGuy

Without the unequivocal decision, one day at a time doesn't really mean anything, because we all live one day at a time, drunk or sober, whether we like it or not. It's odd that the most important caveat isn't mentioned in one of mankind's most often recited bits of wisdom.

ColoradoRocky

Makes sense? Oh, yeah, it sounds great. Wonderful. Sounds very together and holistic, etc.

Problem is, apparently you've been around the block a few times and have probably crossed the alcoholism line of no return. Which means this cool, healthy, goal-oriented approach is unlikely to work long term.

Playing off not drinking as a lifestyle change probably won't cut it.

DriGuy

I didn't have as precise a plan as others here seem to have had. But in looking back at my recovery (and it's been awhile), I don't think I focused on alcohol. I focused on sobriety. Sobriety overshadowed all else, especially in the beginning. But isn't that the same as focusing on alcohol? I don't think so. It's very different. Gradually, within months that sobriety began to expand to include the other good things in life. But at first, it was all about sobriety, and in the most delightful way possible. I went to bed sober filled with gratitude. I was amazed when cravings left. I was constantly thankful for another day without the torment of drinking. I don't know if that is how it has to be done. I certainly didn't plan it. I didn't even plan to be happy. I did plan to be sober, however. The rest just happened.

Callas

It all sounds really good but at this stage it is just words. Staying sober will initially take up all the effort you have in you. If you succeed possibly the other healthy options may follow. If you underestimate how difficult this is going to be you are setting yourself up for failure. Yes, day one is easy hungover and all. Get to day 100 and then evaluate where you are. That is if you are serious about this.

ColoradoRocky

Hiya Guy, my precise plan wasn't very precise now that I think about it. I asked for help and was willing to follow it. Turned out to be AA.

So I hung out every day with people who knew how to stay away from a drink, asked for help, and did what I was told for the first time in my life. Turns out the people in AA had a precise plan!

They had the plan, I had the attitude.

Tater, I was so willing to stop drinking they could have told me take up male pole dancing, recite nursery rhymes in the town square, and walk backwards around the block three times every morning and I would have done it.

DriGuy

That's the way it was for me. My attitude was never in question, but there were things I needed help with. The power in the group for me was inspiration through watching successful members who showed me early on that sobriety and happiness went together. No kidding. I was nervous at my first meeting, but suddenly thrown together with people who seemed genuinely happy even though they hadn't had a drink for years. That sounds positively silly as I write this now, but at the time, it really surprised me. I expected to meet people that were managing, doing OK, and handling sobriety was solid stoicism. But joyful? I wasn't expecting that.

tatersalad

CupofJoe

Hi, I really hope your plan works. Getting sober is worth making massive changes for.

I just wanted to pipe in that for me, getting sober was primary. I've made tons of positive changes and I'm much happier and in general things are better. But life being life, there are ups and downs. Sometimes life isn't always positive. Sometimes I still get depressed, anxious, and don't feel joyful. Negative things happen. But I never use anything as a reason to drink.

Learning coping skills for life and how to approach life gave me an attitude that I can handle anything sober. I'm still learning, of course, too.

I only bring it up because I've seen people go back to drinking when things get hard or when they're down and they start to question why they stopped. It's good to have a plan for the not-so-positive aspects of life, too. When day one becomes day X and you're having a bad day and you can't remember why you quit.

Not wanting to be a downer, I just thought it might be helpful to mention it.

Best to you.

August252015

Respectfully, I hope this time is indeed different for you. At first, for me and oh so many others, it was indeed about the literal not drinking part.

Good luck.

tatersalad