Is it so hard not to drink?
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Join Date: May 2019
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Is it so hard not to drink?
Sorry if the title sounds impolite or provocative. That’s not my intention at all. I’m sure like a lot of posters, I get slightly saddened by stories of relapses on here. The anecdotal and statistical evidence says most of us will relapse at some point, and I’m not so arrogant to believe I’m immune.
After eight months without drinking, I still get the urge now and again to drink, but I choose not to. That’s not a sign of strength or great willpower, the opposite. I don’t want to go through those early withdrawal weeks again. To not drink is the easy option.
So as per the title, is it that hard not to drink?
After eight months without drinking, I still get the urge now and again to drink, but I choose not to. That’s not a sign of strength or great willpower, the opposite. I don’t want to go through those early withdrawal weeks again. To not drink is the easy option.
So as per the title, is it that hard not to drink?
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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If you'd asked me the week before I quit and then asked me again today you'd get two vastly different answers.
What I try to do is share my experience of quitting, and how absolutely possible it is, to those still in the spot I was in before I quit.
D
What I try to do is share my experience of quitting, and how absolutely possible it is, to those still in the spot I was in before I quit.
D
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: France
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I think the problem is, and I only speak for myself, when we have a certain amount of time sober the brain (AV) tells me that it wasn’t that bad and I get a sense of entitlement, then when I relapse obviously everything comes back harder and a lot worse, which is why I think I need to try and change the way I think about alcohol, I’ve often said if we had a person treating us like alcohol does they wouldn’t be in our lives for long 👍
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Georgia, USA
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If it was easy not to drink, this site wouldn't be here. Most of us have to put a lot of work into being sober. It's been easy for me the past couple of days, and I hope it stays this easy, but the first couple of weeks there were some very hard times. Not constantly, but for a period every day.
I'm prepared for there to be more really hard moments, when my AV is screaming at me and I'm confused and thinking I need to drink. I hope it never happens again, but I think it probably will. That's why I stick with SR and use all my recovery tools.
I'm prepared for there to be more really hard moments, when my AV is screaming at me and I'm confused and thinking I need to drink. I hope it never happens again, but I think it probably will. That's why I stick with SR and use all my recovery tools.
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Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 188
If I had a person treating me like alcohol they'd be in a high security prison!
It sounds like everyones' cravings vary, depending on lots of factors. Mine have not been too bad when I'm not drinking recently, which is why I kick myself when I tell myself I can have a drink, and then descend into disaster. Day three sober here and the last bender is bad enough to not drink for three life times. I going to remind myself of the horror every morning from now on.
It sounds like everyones' cravings vary, depending on lots of factors. Mine have not been too bad when I'm not drinking recently, which is why I kick myself when I tell myself I can have a drink, and then descend into disaster. Day three sober here and the last bender is bad enough to not drink for three life times. I going to remind myself of the horror every morning from now on.
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Join Date: Jun 2019
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For me it got easy not to drink especially after that last withdrawal and I know we've all said it before when we are all hungover I swear I'm not going to drink again and lo and behold what do we do drink again the good old hair of the dog right well I got tired of that that being said I got a hundred and thirty-seven days of sobriety I wouldn't trade it for the world alcohol means nothing to me. ✌
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Join Date: Jul 2014
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I think the problem is, and I only speak for myself, when we have a certain amount of time sober the brain (AV) tells me that it wasn’t that bad and I get a sense of entitlement, then when I relapse obviously everything comes back harder and a lot worse, which is why I think I need to try and change the way I think about alcohol, I’ve often said if we had a person treating us like alcohol does they wouldn’t be in our lives for long 👍
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,169
Originally Posted by Hodd 
The anecdotal and statistical evidence says most of us will relapse at some point.
Originally Posted by Hodd
After eight months without drinking, I still get the urge now and again to drink, but I choose not to. That’s not a sign of strength or great willpower, the opposite. I don’t want to go through those early withdrawal weeks again. To not drink is the easy option.
Not drinking is easy once choice is realized. Thinking logically is not. Human behavior tends to be determined emotional states, and basic needs. Logic is not something we are born with. Humans tend to react, not so much to think.
So yes, not drinking is easy, but in spite of admonitions to keep it simple, alcoholics tend to make it hard. Our frustration is that we cannot communicate that to others.
I might be missing something big if it's more than simple choice. I've puzzled for years about your question.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
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The statistical measure for recovery used in studies is usually measured as "not having relapsed" 5 years after quitting, and has always been nothing short of dismal, usually hovering around 5% to 10%.
I think we can do newcomers a disservice by expounding too much on the doom and gloom.
Yes its hard to get sober and stay that way, but it's readily achievable. There are hundreds of case studies here in our SR members
The only statistic that matters to me is when I started putting 100% into my recovery I stayed sober 100%
D
Abstinence Apprentice
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: East Central Indiana
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Yes, it is that hard. The only lengthy sobriety I've had throught the years was by putting myself into an environment where everything was centered on getting and staying sober.
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Join Date: Aug 2019
Location: Northeast US
Posts: 45
From all of the reading that I have done on SR, I feel like it must be different for everyone.
For me personally, it is so much easier to not drink at all. My cravings kick in strong after the first 1-2 drinks. If I abstain completely, I find that I get weak cravings that I can manage through physical exercise.
Since I'm only so early into sobriety, I know I must remain constantly aware of relapse and avoid it at all costs.
So is it so hard not to drink? No.
The harder part, like Mto2 mentioned, is fighting that voice that keeps telling me it wasn't really that bad when I did.
For me personally, it is so much easier to not drink at all. My cravings kick in strong after the first 1-2 drinks. If I abstain completely, I find that I get weak cravings that I can manage through physical exercise.
Since I'm only so early into sobriety, I know I must remain constantly aware of relapse and avoid it at all costs.
So is it so hard not to drink? No.
The harder part, like Mto2 mentioned, is fighting that voice that keeps telling me it wasn't really that bad when I did.
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Join Date: May 2019
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Thanks for replies.
I still don’t really get it, and remember I’m an ex-drinker who’s fearful of a relapse. But to drink, I’d have to decide to drink and then go out to a shop or bar first to purchase said drink. There’d be ample opportunity through each stage to say no.
I’m fearful of relapsing as I don’t know what may happen, probably nothing except a hangover, but I’m worried the cravings would come back tenfold. There’s also kindling, which I don’t understand, but anything messing with your mental health mustn’t be toyed with. Finally, I gave up because I didn’t want to destroy my liver which by a miracle is still healthy.
In summary, I’m too scared to drink again so however bad the cravings - and they are tiny compared to before - I’ll just think why I gave up and hopefully say no forever 🙂
I still don’t really get it, and remember I’m an ex-drinker who’s fearful of a relapse. But to drink, I’d have to decide to drink and then go out to a shop or bar first to purchase said drink. There’d be ample opportunity through each stage to say no.
I’m fearful of relapsing as I don’t know what may happen, probably nothing except a hangover, but I’m worried the cravings would come back tenfold. There’s also kindling, which I don’t understand, but anything messing with your mental health mustn’t be toyed with. Finally, I gave up because I didn’t want to destroy my liver which by a miracle is still healthy.
In summary, I’m too scared to drink again so however bad the cravings - and they are tiny compared to before - I’ll just think why I gave up and hopefully say no forever 🙂
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Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 748
I find it very easy not to drink when not drinking is what I really want. But this want has to come from more than a well meaning plan.
I know consciously what's right and wrong for me but I really think I'm in a self driving car which I'm under the delusion I'm steering.When there are doubts then kill them immediately, for once they're allowed to take the floor in the debating chamber, the decision to drink has been made.
Yes stopping is easy, if that's what you really want.
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Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 710
Originally Posted by Dee74
Well it was used once in the Valliant Study, and those level of results were cited - but I'll admit I'm not up on other major longitudinal studies, though.
I think we can do newcomers a disservice by expounding too much on the doom and gloom.
Yes its hard to get sober and stay that way, but it's readily achievable. There are hundreds of case studies here in our SR members
The only statistic that matters to me is when I started putting 100% into my recovery I stayed sober 100%
D
I think we can do newcomers a disservice by expounding too much on the doom and gloom.
Yes its hard to get sober and stay that way, but it's readily achievable. There are hundreds of case studies here in our SR members
The only statistic that matters to me is when I started putting 100% into my recovery I stayed sober 100%
D
Hodd, once the withdrawal is gone, not drinking is easy. But drinking is easier. I think many of us have got here by a natural inclination to choose the easier option, even when we knew it was not the best. At least, this applies to me.
It has taken decades since i started drinking to get to the point where I became alcohol dependent. And I was surprised! The day I realised I had to choose between drinking in the morning or quitting, I stopped. 73 days ago, For the first time ever since my first drink at the age of 14 or so (I am 46) I made the choice of non drinking. I only became a daily drinker a few years back. I am sure there were many other occasions I could have chosen the easy option instead of the easier. Perhaps I could be a normal drinker now. I always went for 'easier'.
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Originally Posted by BackandScared
Perhaps I could be a normal drinker now. I always went for 'easier'.
I’d say the number of ex-drinkers who attempt to moderate but return to being heavy drinkers is 99.99%.
Be careful thinking you can drink again.
p.s. Sorry all for the gloomy thread ☹️🙂
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