birdie11

I first posted here over 5 years ago, I've known I've had a serious drinking problem for over 10 years now, and looking back I see I have had a dysfunctional relationship with alcohol since I first tried it at 15 years old. I have a very supportive husband and 3 great kids. I've tried to recover on my own for awhile now, with varying success, I recently accomplished 6 months sober just to randomly pick up a drink and it was all downhill from there. I called my local AA office today and made plans with the person I spoke to about going to a very early meeting tomorrow. Ugh, I'm crying just thinking about it. Whatever comes out of it, it's just an incredible relief to be able to share with people who understand. But still, it is hard and a big step for me to ask for help (acknowledging I can't do this alone feels like a failure) Anyway, no real point to this really than to just ask for support. My husband knows I have a problem but I don't think he really understands how serious it is. Mainly b/c I have downplayed it. I'm just scared.

Callas

All the best to you. At six months now I am also struggling and hanging on to sobriety by just biting the bullet. None of this is easy but I think we all know we have to do it.

Hope1989

Hi!

I think no one that does not have the problem will understand the extent of it.

In retrospective, I think that you are actually in a good place, and that is great! You have a loving and supporting husband, and as you said, three great kids. Think about this: it really does not have to go lower than this. It really does not.

You have asked for help and are willing to work on it. So I think everything it's on track despite the fact of having a long journey ahead.

Try to be nice with yourself and congratulate you because of seeking help.

You'll be awesome!

BeABetterMan

birdie11

Thank you all for your kind words.

I just don't want to be the person that has to go to an AA meeting at 6am on a Wednesday. I am that person though. But I fight against it. I'm afraid I won't go. But I need to. I need help. But I don't want to be a person who needs help.

Kaily

Well done birdie you have taken steps to get the help and support that you need. No shame in that.

Good luck at the meeting tomorrow. Come back and let us know how it went.

ImNotThatGuy

Hey birdie, nobody wants to be a person who needs help, but we all are people who need help.

Good luck to you.

Mummyto2

Ghostlight1

I didn't want to be that person who needed help, either. In fact, I fought it for ten years of trying to quit on my own. And let me tell you, those were ten miserable years.
I finally called AA, too. It took me awhile to get it, but I finally dove in to the program. I was not drinking in no time. Of course it took work and wasn't easy, but this alcoholic has been saved a whole lot of misery thanks to AA and this place
You can do it, too. There's no shame in admitting you have a problem.
Good luck with the meeting, and we're all here for you too.

birdie11

Thank you for this. Being vulnerable and asking for help is really hard for me - I've always been that "most likely to succeed" person, from high school onward, which makes it hard for me to ask for help. It makes it feel like I'm a failure... I know logically that is not true, but the facts vs how we feel are not always the same...

birdie11

I just wanted to thank you all for responding and for the support, I know I need to go to this meeting tomorrow and my husband will be totally supportive, I just don't know if I'm brave enough to go. I hope I am. I think I am. It is just so easy to not go.... To just go along with how things have been, no matter how crappy. It's just so very hard to make a change.

wehav2day

Birdie,

I too am very impressed that you’ve taken the leap and admitted you can’t do this on your own.

VERY FEW people can. Even folks who post here as their only recovery work are still getting help. From us. But the vast majority of us, me included, can’t get and STAY sober with sr alone either. Most of us need some kind of face to face support. I did aa, and the steps, and now have sober friends I talk to every day.

The cool part is those friends and I rarely talk about recovery itself anymore, our recovery has kind of moved on to just being besties who don’t drink.

Do everything and anything now, throw **** to the wall and see what sticks. After a while, you’ll know what’s working for you and might be able to scale back.

A solid recovery plan that you work with all of your heart will be a royal pain at first. But it will reward you with life itself. It’s completely worth it. You don’t ever have to relapse again.

Anna

Birdie, if you think going to the meeting tomorrow is what you need to do, then go for it. Stopping drinking and recovering is the goal and there are lots of things you can do to achieve that. One of those things is coming here and reading and posting. Our member have lot of ideas about recovery and we offer lots of support.

DreamCatcher17

What if you were able to help someone else in the rooms? There is a flip side to us needed help. I find helping others helps me more than anything

djlook

Please go.

RJY9

Wishing you all the best in your journey to recovery. I am only 8 days sober and I can identify with everything you have written. My wife doesn't really understand my alcoholism either. I guess you have to be an alcoholic to understand an alcoholic. That's why we all support each other through SR and meetings etc. I will add you to my prayers. 🙏
All the best to you!

Sober369

Fantastic start, Birdie! I can't wait to hear how it turns out. You can do it! You aren't promising anyone anything by going to a meeting. You are so wise to know you need help.

SoberRican

Drastic moves ask for drastic measures. And quiting booze is a drastic measure feel me.. If a meering is what it takes to "get it" then so be it. We have this thing called pride. I had to throw pride and ego out The window. I was sick and I knew it. So I turned my focus to a power greater than me to pull me out of the vicious cycle. And then I took action. Its not about just quitting booze. It's staying sober thats the stickler. ✌

CupofJoe

Good for you for taking the first steps! It is really hard at first, but it gets easier. I think a lot of us tried to do it alone at first. I tried for a long time and finally admitted I needed help. Best thing I ever did.

Another way of looking at it might be that if you broke your leg, would you have a problem asking a doctor to help you? It's similar, except that we alcoholics help each other get sober.

Best wishes to you.

abgator

Just to once again echo what's already been said multiple times, none of us wanted to be that person who needed help or AA. You'll hear that repeated by others in AA frequently. Setting aside your pride is something you'll learn to do quite effectively in AA if you dedicate yourself to it.

I'm as stubborn as they come and even though I'm new to AA, I don't regret getting involved one bit. I, like most here, tried and failed (repeatedly) to stay sober on my own. You can do it. And you'll actually be helping others as they help you. They'll no doubt be a welcoming group for you.