despdaughter

My mother is really trying to get better. After being in and out of detox for over 10 years she is making an effort. Especially since she wants to see my child (her grandaughter). I don't want my baby to go through what i went, so I am trying very hard to help her through now that she is taking the help. She just came out of detox, and now we need to find a sober living home. She has a hard time staying sober in the evenings after work. Did anybody here deal with this, and have a succesful solution????????

thanks

DefofLov

In my opinion,

The best thing you can do is put you and your daughter first. It is good to be supportive of your mother but make sure you have your boundaries in line. Make sure that you are taking care of you and your little girl before you take on the huge task of 'pushing your mother into recovery.'

She must do it on her own. While you can be supportive, do not become co-dependent. You do not own her addiction and struggle.

Hope that makes sense.

Kay Kay

DefofLov is right,
My mother quit drinking and I TOOK OVER!!! Put her before my own family. Did everything for her. Put my name on her checks and paid her bills, cooked, cleaned her house, took her to the doctor, spoke for her at the doctors, etc.... I realized that I needed to back off, and when I did, guess what happened? She started drinking again. Since then I have had another baby. She keeps telling me that she will always be here for me because I was there for her. I needed her to baby-sit for me last weekend. I got my sister to drive in from out of town for back up because I was scared I couldn't depend on her, and it was a good thing I did. She showed up drunk. It doesn't look like she is here for me.
All I'm saying is don't take over and let her help herself.
Good luck!!!
Kay Kay

Blessed

My Mother is alcoholic, The most loving thing i did for her was allowing her to take personal responsiblity for her recovery. It was also the most loving thing i did for myself! Go to alanon meetings, get help for yourself, your daughter needs you, don't let your mothers disease consume you and your life. I made that mistake...It got so bad that i wanted to kill her or myself...I got help, i couldn't do it alone. Today i have a loving relationship with my mother , By the grace of god, she is sober and i am no longer in the grips of co-dependency, not because she is sober , but because i put my recovery first...