thomas11

My first real job was helping people install proprietary software and that was 21 years ago. I got a couple promotions but ultimately was let go and given severance. I started my own company (with employees) and ran that for 15 years. Got hurt and had to sell. Tried real estate and failed. Now all these years later I am working in a frickin call center again. 21 years of hard work and I am right back to where I started. Should I feel depressed?

Its a good job, pays ok, and lots of opportunity, but I can't help but become a little depressed about the entire situation of "my life". With my company, I made (AND LOST) several million dollars. I now am on pace to make annually what I used to make in a month. Too young to retire though. I just might be the oldest person in my group. It hurts a little bit.

90% of the time I remain pretty positive, but on occasion I think I really blew it in life. One of the things that keeps me going is that alcohol didn't kill me. I was able to conquer that beast and everything overall is better.

Meraviglioso

No you shouldn't! You are working and providing for your family, that is amazing in and of itself.
I recently returned to the US for a few months and was able to score a job thanks to a connection in AA. It happened immediately. This was after years of searching and trying for a job in Italy. I applied for numerous jobs in Italy while I was away and head back from none.
I am now back in Italy, jobless and would give anything for a call centre job..

My very best friend is completely career driven. She work for the fed, an amazing job yet still wants more. She has decided to go back to school to get another mater's degree to inhance her chances at getting a better job. Good for her. I have absolutely zero career ambition. Despite having held some very prominent and important positions. I just do not care about advancing. I simply want to make a living.

You need to decide if you are happy making a living or if you are career driven.

sodasoba

If you have done it once......then you can do it again.
Ok, so the current situation may not be ideal, but it serves its purpose, its useful in that it keeps you going while you look for the next opportunity. And next time you will have a lot of experience behind you. I really believe it is never too late to follow another opportunity if you can find it.

Conquering alcohol use is a massive personal achievement in itself. It also puts you in an even better place to follow a new path if and when it appears.

Good luck......I think you have every chance of resuming your chosen journey.

boreas

thomas,
Sometimes we just have to do what’s required to get by. The best piece of wisdom I’ve heard was, “Nothing ever stays the same.”

I see your previous work accomplishments as just that, great accomplishments. Something to be proud of. So, things aren’t peachy on the work front...it happens. For me, beefing up other parts of my life with things I enjoy does a lot to help my overall satisfaction even if there are parts that aren’t even close to ideal.

Things will change. That’s one of life’s only guarantees. Try not to focus too much on your momentary work situation, and maybe use the fact that you have mental energy to direct elsewhere to set and meet goals in other areas. Usually, if you continue to do the right thing a path forward will present itself.
-bora

doggonecarl

^^This.

When you die, do you want your obituary to read like like a resume? Or like a tribute to a life well lived?

entropy1964

Oh my gosh we are very much in the same place in life. Circumstances are different, but same kinda thing. I didn't lose money because of drinking (well that's not true...but not big money) but I find my self old-ish and re-entering the job market.

Empty nester that I am, its time for me to work. Hasn't even been a week, I've applied to 3 places. A high tech place that I REALLY want to work for. First job, applied, checked the status, job is gone. What? So they either hired for it already (out of my control) or it was a mistake. So I apply for a second. I'm WWWAAAAYYYY over qualified for it . But there it is. That was yesterday.

I applied to be a Pharmacy Tech. WHAT? Yeah. You get a certification. And then you can work there. That was yesterday. Went in to meet the manager, push myself, she gave me some names to pursue. Seemed interested.

I applied to Trader Joes. Yeah. They have completed their first round of hiring (I applied yesterday) but think they'll need more people.

So I get home and I'm finding myself feeling really pissy. Now, its been 1 week. I've applied to 3 places. I haven't worked in years. I'm old. So, yeah, this isn't going to be easy. I've never worked in this area so no connections. I 'know' this isn't going to be like Silicon Valley. And even there, with all my contacts, this would be far harder than 20 years ago. I'm technically in the Pleistocene.

BUT I'm pissy. I'm entitled. I have this superiority thing going on that I know is actually fueled by fear. I'm not afraid of the hunt, the chase, the pursuit of a job. Fact? I rather enjoy interviewing. But, and I can't quite pinpoint it, I'm entitled. I KNOW one thing: I'm going to have to take a job with a decent company for low pay that has potential. But I FEEL like people should be 'honored' to see me. And I'm fearful I'm just a big fraud.

I wasn't an alcoholic when I was working, that came later. Party-er, yes. But now I guess I feel damaged. Or something.

Whatever it is it is complicated. But I know reality here. I'm not delusional. And I'll turn this entitlement into something more productive. I'm just sort of mystified by it...although its not a new behavior. Just a new situation. Maybe some weird lurking part of my addictive behavior.

So, man, you are lucky. I totally get it. But remember the facts: Decent job, ok pay, and growth. You can work with that. Can you get me a job? Lol.

Hang in there. Don't let your ego mess with you. I'll try to do the same.

Nonsensical

Looking behind me has never helped me find the open door going forward.

You.
Got.
This.

kk1k5x

Sounds like internal thrashing - I'm very familiar with that myself. That feeling of 'this isn't good enough'. Then again, the idealistic so-called better or even perfect situations were those things only in my mind. It was always more about that new shiny thing even though the current versions were functioning fine.

For me, that's my inner gambler. Bet big or go home. Recently, there was an opening at a research institute in a foreign country (in US terms it would probably be something like 2-3 states over) - supposed pay would have been 10 times higher than what I currently make, the institute has a high reputation etc. As far as 'my fit' for the position, it is the closest to a perfect fit I've seen so far in terms of requirements. On the other side, I just got things functioning where I currently am. And I'm happy I let that thought go, because there is literally no point in uprooting a functioning thing just for a shot at some maybe-maybenot fame and glory stuff -- that was never my position in the past, which is why you could often find me doing 3-4 things I myself found uncomfortable and with no real outlook ... but the 'glory of it all', y'know, the 'novelty'. I'm at a point now, where novelty and entitlement-based BS is not high on my list of important things to set my course by.

Only recently I've started connecting that inner restlessness or gambler with my otherwise addicted being. Something somewheres else is always better my brain says. Because it will never go entirely quiet on the subject, I'm afraid. But it's a lot safer and more stable to put all those glory and payday hunting skills to use at your current place. You know, how can you make that into something better?

Entitlement is weird, because it needs to be based on a right for something. I've never been able to figure out what that right is or would be in my case, so as to base an actual entitlement on it.

Anna

I totally agree with Mera and Carl. There is no need to judge yourself against other people who may be more ambitious or against your old self who clearly accomplished a lot. This is you, now, and you said you like the job, it pays well and has lots of opportunities. That sounds great!

Resist the urge to judge yourself and others and enjoy this time in your life.

nez

Your mind will believe what you tell it.

After 40 years in the hospitality/restaurant business (12 as an owner), I reinvented myself and went back to school for information technology. My son laughed and said aren't you a little old to be changing careers. I told him that "Put away the shovel. I ain't dead yet."

SoberCAH

It sounds like you are doing honorable work, my friend.

I would try to avoid comparing my insides to other peoples' outsides.

I think you should be proud of yourself.

Congratulations on your sobriety.

Glad you're here with us.

AAPJ

If your biggest life problem today is that your job is not as challenging or high paying when compared to what you did earlier in your career, you are fortunate.

At least that's what I try to keep telling myself.

A few years ago the company I worked at for almost 20 years was bought out and following an integration period I was let go. I do not think it is likely that I will ever get a job paying what I once made. Right now I am consulting for less than half of what I once earned.

I am in my late 50s and to most potential employers I am "old". Now they won't tell me that directly because they do not want to be accused of age discrimination but I can see it in their eyes when they meet me.

So despite all of the recovery style positive thinking stuff, there are days when my job situation frustrates me. Trust me when I say that I feel your pain.

But I will be sober when I go to bed tonight.

saoutchik

For better or for worse money is useful to have and so some brief annoyance or irritation would be normal but you should definitely not feel depressed or that you are a lesser person for it. You could also look at your situation in another way - when you were earning 10 times what you are now were you a better person? (let alone a 10 times better person) I'm sure you are essentially the same person now as you where then only sober. It just goes to show the capricious nature of the modern workplace whereby someone doing some weird transactions in the financial markets earn way more than a nurse or a teacher but that does not make them a more worthwhile human being.

markinny

I could be wrong but it sounds like you're financially secure. maybe not wealthy but secure. I retired 13 yrs ago and am currently 61. it wasn't because I had loads of money but cause I could. I started right out of high school at the company and had the time in to draw a mediocre pension. its the only job I've ever had. people looked at me cross eyed and some still do. they figured I go back to work at some point and I haven't. since quitting drinking over a year ago I have never been happier. I wouldn't trade sobriety for all the money in the world. I get by.

Dee74

You'll drive yourself mad comparing yourself to other people, or what you think they think Jeff...

If you don't like the job then it's fine to keep looking...the best job is doing something you enjoy....

but if you like it and you're good at it, what does it matter what others think or where your self doubt tells you you 'should' be?

The past is the past. I'm sure most of us regret the choices we made...but it is what it is. You can make peace with it, or endlessly kick yourself up the backside...

I choose the former. Everything that happened to me, good and bad, bought me here, and here is not a bad place to be.

I didn't plan it like this. but sometimes we end up where we need to be

D

PhoenixJ

You have heard all the clichés, starting with 'money doesn't buy happiness'. For me the danger is ruminating- the what if's. Perhaps a change of scenery may hep? Not a geographical.