ThatWasTheOldMe

I'm always either exhausted from work - or worse, my AV starts to whisper to me that drinking will bring motivation.

PinnacleOR

I’m on Day 19 and am exhausted and cranky. Today I just didn’t want to talk to anyone. I’m vigilant that it may be my AV at work. I don’t want to drink, but I do just want to curl up on the sofa and fall asleep.

SoberRican

Tell AV to take a hike. ✌

AnvilheadII

and then take a nap!

Anna

Try to get some rest because fatigue is often a trigger. And, focus on the fact that you know it's your AV talking to you and you know you don't need to listen to it.

nez

Let your AV whisper. Let it scream even. It is like a 3 year old throwing a tantrum. Ignore it. It will get tired sooner or later. When that happens, smile! Mission accomplished.

least

The best thing I can do to instill motivation/energy is to actively practice gratitude. Being thankful gives me peace of mind, but also energy.

Drinking never motivated me to do anything other than drink more or pass out.

My worst day sober is much better than my best day drunk.

cmart63

Wow, I can relate to this statement. I most always feel excited about the day to come, then become exhausted, and then feel like a little AL will help me keep going -refresh my energy and excitement. From time to time, I accept this nonsense coming from my brain and give it a go. What an illusion-lie. What I needed was rest, meditation, and to slow all the way down. Thanks for your post -a reminder.

ThatWasTheOldMe

Meh I can't sleep anyway. I'm worried about having a job in the future since the guy that bids our commercial jobs is retiring this month. And I know I can't pass an interview anywhere else because I'm a worthless loser and the only reason I have my current job is my dad works there.

Anyway, I have enough debt that I have to keep a consistent job making at least $20 per hour or I'll be homeless. So I guess I get to be homeless soon.

Dee74

Fears can grind us down - but whatever happens I've usually made it through ok. I'm sure you will too.

Hows AA going TWTOM?


D

FeelingGreat

yeah, after work is the danger time. Try this and see how you feel.

Have a cup of tea or a juice
Eat something you like,
Take 5 deep slow breaths, concentrating on your body.

I think you'll feel better. If you do try it, let us know how it works.

ThatWasTheOldMe

I can't afford to go to AA as it costs money to get there.
Much like I can't afford to buy new work boots or tools in case they're worthless in two weeks when I don't have a job. My work boots have holes in the bottom.
I'm not even sure if I should spend money on food.

I don't want to trigger people by sharing my dark thoughts, so I'm just gonna be quiet.

nez

When I was growing up, if I ever dared to start a sentence with "I can't..." my mother would quickly cut me off with "Can't never could." and my father would chime in with "Boy, you need to take that word out of your vocabulary."

Looking at ways that I can't do this or why that won't work or that doesn't...etc.etc., are basically not a good uses of my time. If it is a forgone conclusion that the results of this or that are not going to be the desired results, then I need to put my time to better use and find ways that I can do this or why that will work or that does...etc.etc.

ThatWasTheOldMe

I suppose it was my mistake to go to college for those physics / engineering degrees.

nez

Only you can really answer that question and you might be mistaken with your answer!!!

I went to school for architecture...I am a chef.
I went to school for information technology...I am a chef
I went to school for culinary arts...I am presently a line cook (my choice at this point in my career)

Tell me a bit about yourself but keep in mind that I have selective hearing and limited time on this planet so I would prefer to focus on solutions rather than problems. Anyone can find a problem.

ThatWasTheOldMe

Oh about me?
I work all week for peanuts to keep my financial hole the same depth at best - then I drink to forget about the hopelessness of my situation on weekends.

C0ntr0ls

Stop drinking and start filling the financial hole with money saved and pick-up a part time job to help fill your time and help fill that hole.

One day at a time.

August252015

I relate!

And sometimes, I did just curl up and nap or go to bed for the night (day!)


How are you now TWTOM?

dpac414

TWTOM,

I know you're frustrated and coming here to vent. I know you're depressed and need an outlet. You're entitled to that space.

I'm just curious, what do you want us to say? People here give you advice, support you, try to talk you through it and you have a quip for them all. I am genuinely asking and not trying to be rude.

I want to support you too, and I DO support you, but I feel like anything I say will fall on deaf ears, even if it's something as simple as "glad you posted".

So I dunno man. I want you to keep coming back, I really do. But nothing is going to change unless you try to change it. I think you have more options than you staunchly deny you do.

MantaLady

The only motivation alcohol gave me was the motivation to buy and drink more alcohol. I was highly motivated to keep drinking when I was drinking. It didn’t motivate me to look after myself, go food shopping, socialise, deal with my problems, clean the house or bother with self care.

So if the kind of motivation your after is the motivation to keep drinking, then a drink will successfully achieve that for you. x