Pressmetilihurt

Ugh. If I go and raise my hand everyone will just throw up in their mouths. Gross picture I know. I'm such a failure there. I don't have a better idea.

nez

What have you done that I haven't done? Probably nothing, so I am certainly in no place to judge. Empatize, yes; but judge,no. The last time I came back in, I could only do it by telling myself that I didn't want my tombstone to read "Died of embarrassment and falsely believed terminal uniqueness."

ColoradoRocky

Alcoholics Anonymous is filled with the same people who fill up the rest of the world. Some will judge you, some will not. Some will like you, some will not.

So what? You go for yourself, not anybody else, and you hang out with the people you get along with.

NerfThis

I've never been to AA, but I feel like that would be the least likely place for people to judge someone with an alcohol problem.

CupofJoe

I can't speak for other people (I'm not a mind reader or a fortune teller), but it sounds like you're already judging yourself pretty harshly. Maybe ease up on yourself a bit?

You're an alcoholic. You're having a hard time staying sober. People in AA get that.

I went through the same anxieties and now I realize that I wasted a lot of energy worrying about what other people might think of me rather than getting help for myself.

If you want to go to AA, then I think it would be a great idea. And most people either want to help you or aren't thinking about you at all. There's nothing to be scared of. Having a hard time staying sober isn't anything to be ashamed of. It's addiction.

Don't let the voices in your head keep you from getting help.

Take care.

brighterday1234

Coldfusion

The only judgement I have when I see someone new or returning is that I am glad he or she made it into the meeting.

tomsteve

whether people are gonna judge you or not, their opinion doesnt and shouldnt matter.
personally,press, it seems that along with going to meetings you should get into serious action with the steps.
meetings are great but going to meetings and not drinking doesnt treat alcoholism. its the steps we take- not the meetings we make- that does that.

january161992

alcoholics (like me) are self centered

people in aa are thinkin' 'bout themselves




after we do the step work (hopefully) we start to care about others

gypsytears

Why in the world do you even have to raise your hand? When I go to meetings I go to listen and don’t feel pressured to raise my hand at all.

entropy1964

So this ties into your other thread. That honesty thing.

You can not re-introduce yourself, stay quiet. Or you can just embrace it...own it. At least that helps me.

Honestly Press, and don't take this the wrong way, no one will even bat an eye. They won't leave thinking 'wow, what a loser'. They won't think about anyone other than themselves more than likely.

That's not because you aren't important. But its what you do with that importance that counts.

AnvilheadII

considering that AA is for people with a drinking problem. another newcomer showing up isn't exactly a surprise. or a not-so-newcomer showing up for the 17th time.

sounds like your ego talking. thinking that WE are what other people think about, focus on, talk about. trust me, people by and large have enough going on in their own lives. especially others struggling to overcome the exact same problem.

if you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it - then you are ready to take certain steps.

At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.

AAPJ

I have a friend from AA who relapses frequently. I provide gentle encouragement and support when we talk which isn't too often. He tells me he's too ashamed to go back. It's really just sad. So many folks who need AA the most are afraid/ashamed to go to a meeting.

For me, if a person who has relapsed (no matter how many times) shows up at a meeting I am glad to see him/her. I know many other folks who attend my home group feel the same way. I have seen amazing amounts of support at my home group for relapsers.

I remember a lady coming into our meetings a few months ago crying because she was going to meetings and still drinking at night. The amount of support she received was amazing.

Last week she celebrated 30 days of sobriety and told us she got a job. We didn't judge her, we supported/helped her.

ImNotThatGuy

I am one of those for whom AA doesn't work, but I will tell you that one thing people there are not is judgmental. You'll find all kinds of people in those rooms with one thing in common: they have the same kind of relationship with alcohol that you do.

Anna

I think that you should do whatever you have to do to get and stay sober.

fini

they might judge that you might be in need of the suggested solution

least

If you feel the need to go, go to the meeting. Just ignore anyone who judges you.

SoberCAH

The people at AA will very likely be more inclined to try to help you.