Hello
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 15
Hello
Not really sure what to write here, feel a bit nervous and not sure why.
Anyhow, just want to introduce myself and say hi.
I don't wake and drink, but I do start thinking about it. My main problem is weekends, I binge, eevn though I don't like it, even though I feel sick, even though I know the hangover is coming, even though I can't really afford it.
I want to be a non drinker, but I find it really hard to do. I get to Friday afternoon and the voice starts. It's the weekend - you deserve a drink like everyone else!
Yesterday, two days after my last drink, I was feeling strong in wanting and being able to quit. Then I open my emails and there it was - The Christmas party invite ( Early I Know!)
My mind starts talking to me again. Your a idiot if you don't go! Free booze, top class food ect ect.
The problem is, that I start to listen to it and that's always been my main problem in quitting. I feel that I,m wasting my life and that I will be seen as a boring idiot by almost everyone if I quit.
But, this time feels different a little. I know it won't be easy and that's why I have decided to join this forum and hopefully it helps.
The first hurdle will start Friday afternoon.
Anyhow, just want to introduce myself and say hi.
I don't wake and drink, but I do start thinking about it. My main problem is weekends, I binge, eevn though I don't like it, even though I feel sick, even though I know the hangover is coming, even though I can't really afford it.
I want to be a non drinker, but I find it really hard to do. I get to Friday afternoon and the voice starts. It's the weekend - you deserve a drink like everyone else!
Yesterday, two days after my last drink, I was feeling strong in wanting and being able to quit. Then I open my emails and there it was - The Christmas party invite ( Early I Know!)
My mind starts talking to me again. Your a idiot if you don't go! Free booze, top class food ect ect.
The problem is, that I start to listen to it and that's always been my main problem in quitting. I feel that I,m wasting my life and that I will be seen as a boring idiot by almost everyone if I quit.
But, this time feels different a little. I know it won't be easy and that's why I have decided to join this forum and hopefully it helps.
The first hurdle will start Friday afternoon.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi and welcome codingsober 
yeah I wasn't sure how I'd handle my future either...I was well versed in the art of self deception and rationalisation...but I also really wanted to change.
as it turns out when push came to shove I made a lot of healthy different decisions from those in my past - and haven't regretted a single one.
I'm sure you won't either
D
yeah I wasn't sure how I'd handle my future either...I was well versed in the art of self deception and rationalisation...but I also really wanted to change.
as it turns out when push came to shove I made a lot of healthy different decisions from those in my past - and haven't regretted a single one.
I'm sure you won't either
D
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
cs,
Welcome and congratulations on your first post. I remember that anxiety coming in here, but quickly found I was among friends that well understand this condition of wanting to quit and feeling a pull toward some future drink at the same time. That feeling of ambivalence is really really difficult to get through, but I promise you that it will get easier with time. Set your sights on getting to Monday without a drink, but only concern yourself with "right now" for the moment. Because "right now" is the only time you have a choice to drink or not.
O
Welcome and congratulations on your first post. I remember that anxiety coming in here, but quickly found I was among friends that well understand this condition of wanting to quit and feeling a pull toward some future drink at the same time. That feeling of ambivalence is really really difficult to get through, but I promise you that it will get easier with time. Set your sights on getting to Monday without a drink, but only concern yourself with "right now" for the moment. Because "right now" is the only time you have a choice to drink or not.
O
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,468
Welcome!
I felt the same way too, for 10 years actually. I drank away 10 years of my life. While there were some fun moments, most were not as I would black out and cause a ruckus, get kicked out of bars, black out, hurt people, hurt myself.
I weighed the options
1. Continue to live a wasted life (literally wasted, or to waste time and not live)
2. Get sober and start to actually live.
I choose #2 and here I am at almost 2 years.
Yes, I still have bumps, but I get through them sober and with a true thought process that isn't fueled by alcohol and poor decisions.
I had to find a support system. Here, AA, therapy, and SOBER friends.
I had to keep my mind busy, so I read a lot, watched a lot of TV and documentaries.
I had to keep my hands busy, so I started to paint as a form of meditation.
I had to work out to stay healthy mind, body, and soul.
I needed my relationship with God to improve.
O played the tape forward as to what would happen if I drank alcohol, how I would feel, what a fool I would make of my self, how much money I would waste, who I would hurt this time, etc...
With all of those, I have come this far and have no plan to stop the stop.
I felt the same way too, for 10 years actually. I drank away 10 years of my life. While there were some fun moments, most were not as I would black out and cause a ruckus, get kicked out of bars, black out, hurt people, hurt myself.
I weighed the options
1. Continue to live a wasted life (literally wasted, or to waste time and not live)
2. Get sober and start to actually live.
I choose #2 and here I am at almost 2 years.
Yes, I still have bumps, but I get through them sober and with a true thought process that isn't fueled by alcohol and poor decisions.
I had to find a support system. Here, AA, therapy, and SOBER friends.
I had to keep my mind busy, so I read a lot, watched a lot of TV and documentaries.
I had to keep my hands busy, so I started to paint as a form of meditation.
I had to work out to stay healthy mind, body, and soul.
I needed my relationship with God to improve.
O played the tape forward as to what would happen if I drank alcohol, how I would feel, what a fool I would make of my self, how much money I would waste, who I would hurt this time, etc...
With all of those, I have come this far and have no plan to stop the stop.
AA Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Silicon Valley
Posts: 2,983
Originally Posted by codingsober 
The first hurdle will start Friday afternoon.
Your job is to post to let the group know how you're doing which helps you
Our job is to support the new people and be of maximum service which helps us
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 453
Originally Posted by codingsober
The first hurdle will start Friday afternoon.
I'm also someone who is enjoying life much more now that I'm sober. I hope you will, too.
I hope you'll start putting a plan in place now for Friday. Why not start posting here and reading other people's stories? It might be really helpful for you.
Best wishes to you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 15
Thanks everyone for the reply's and good advice - it's a big help!
I think it's a good idea to try and post in here as much as I can as it does seem to help when others who understand offer you advice and support.
I got another invite yesterday to another christmas night out, it's only bloody August! This time from a co-worker in a different department. "You coming out with us this Christmas?" Me , " erm maybe yeah."
These episodes are going to be something I need to deal with. I want to go because I want to socialise, but deep down I don't think I have ever really enjoyed what the event actually is.
I think it's just the booze what makes it feel like a good night. I don't dance ( sober or drunk - too shy ) so I just sit there talking and the booze makes me feel like am enjoying myself, but that's all it is, the event itself is boring to me.
My plan for the main Christmas night out is to say that I am going to a family event that same night. As for the other one, well, probably just use the antibiotics excuse or something.
Thanks again everyone x
I think it's a good idea to try and post in here as much as I can as it does seem to help when others who understand offer you advice and support.
I got another invite yesterday to another christmas night out, it's only bloody August! This time from a co-worker in a different department. "You coming out with us this Christmas?" Me , " erm maybe yeah."
These episodes are going to be something I need to deal with. I want to go because I want to socialise, but deep down I don't think I have ever really enjoyed what the event actually is.
I think it's just the booze what makes it feel like a good night. I don't dance ( sober or drunk - too shy ) so I just sit there talking and the booze makes me feel like am enjoying myself, but that's all it is, the event itself is boring to me.
My plan for the main Christmas night out is to say that I am going to a family event that same night. As for the other one, well, probably just use the antibiotics excuse or something.
Thanks again everyone x
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 2,279
Welcome to SR codingsober..there is so much help and support here as long as you choose to use it..
Friday night is tomorrow, my suggestion to you is have a plan, do something totally different than you normally do, I find doing this it's a lot easier to avoid the drink..
Also maybe don't worry about the Xmas invites right now, too much attention in those places isn't always a good thing in the beginning, brain might trick you into thinking your missing out on something and drag you back into drinking..
There is a weekenders thread that's just opened up, join in if you like..
Friday night is tomorrow, my suggestion to you is have a plan, do something totally different than you normally do, I find doing this it's a lot easier to avoid the drink..
Also maybe don't worry about the Xmas invites right now, too much attention in those places isn't always a good thing in the beginning, brain might trick you into thinking your missing out on something and drag you back into drinking..
There is a weekenders thread that's just opened up, join in if you like..
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,169
Originally Posted by codingsober
I don't wake and drink, but I do start thinking about it. My main problem is weekends, I binge, eevn though I don't like it, even though I feel sick, even though I know the hangover is coming, even though I can't really afford it.
I want to be a non drinker, but I find it really hard to do. I get to Friday afternoon and the voice starts. It's the weekend - you deserve a drink like everyone else!
I want to be a non drinker, but I find it really hard to do. I get to Friday afternoon and the voice starts. It's the weekend - you deserve a drink like everyone else!
When I quit, there was no SR. I joined AA where I found the support that I needed to get myself over the hump. At first I went every night. Instead of looking forward to drinking with impunity on Friday night (the right of all able bodied men), I quickly looked forward to celebrating sobriety on Friday night with my group, while the rest of the world was out there getting wiped out.
Originally Posted by codingsober
Yesterday, two days after my last drink, I was feeling strong in wanting and being able to quit. Then I open my emails and there it was - The Christmas party invite ( Early I Know!)
But by that time, I loved sobriety on it's own. Believe me, there's a lot more to do out there than drink, even on those special nights. None of this seemed like a sacrifice after I got the hang of sobriety. Instead, I celebrated those special events by experiencing the rush of feeling free.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Welcome, and it's a bit overwhelming to think of never drinking again. It helped me to try to stay focused on the day. As you stop drinking and begin to recover, you will find that your perceptions change and life without alcohol is not only possible, but great.
As for the voice in your head that's leading you astray, you can learn to hear it and let it go. It doesn't control you.
As for the voice in your head that's leading you astray, you can learn to hear it and let it go. It doesn't control you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2019
Location: Colorado
Posts: 347
Let me give you a little practical advice about parties and drinking:
Go a little late.
Leave a little early.
Keep a Dr. Pepper in your hand the whole night.
So, there you go! I know you're all worried about it and what other people might think, but you might be surprised to find out almost no one really notices or gives a damn about whether you're drinking or not.
p.s....it's the free stuff that'll kill you; don't ask me how I know!
Go a little late.
Leave a little early.
Keep a Dr. Pepper in your hand the whole night.
So, there you go! I know you're all worried about it and what other people might think, but you might be surprised to find out almost no one really notices or gives a damn about whether you're drinking or not.
p.s....it's the free stuff that'll kill you; don't ask me how I know!
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 365
Hey, if you think you can make it through a party without drinking, then go and don't worry about what other people think. Get a club soda with a lime in it. For all anyone knows, you're drinking straight vodka. If anyone notices and asks why you're not drinking, just say you gave it up. You don't need to explain yourself.
Christmas is a long way off. For now just focus on getting through the day. By the time the holidays roll around, you'll have a few sober months under your belt, and it will seem more normal not to drink.
Good luck.
Christmas is a long way off. For now just focus on getting through the day. By the time the holidays roll around, you'll have a few sober months under your belt, and it will seem more normal not to drink.
Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,169
Originally Posted by Anna
Welcome, and it's a bit overwhelming to think of never drinking again. It helped me to try to stay focused on the day. As you stop drinking and begin to recover, you will find that your perceptions change and life without alcohol is not only possible, but great.
As for the voice in your head that's leading you astray, you can learn to hear it and let it go. It doesn't control you.
As for the voice in your head that's leading you astray, you can learn to hear it and let it go. It doesn't control you.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
That's more than ok! You got through the weekend, and that was your first worry. What did you do differently?
O
p.s. I learned that I needed to "subscribe" to my own threads (in Thread Tools at the top of your thread) to receive notifications of replies via email.
O
p.s. I learned that I needed to "subscribe" to my own threads (in Thread Tools at the top of your thread) to receive notifications of replies via email.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: UK, South Coast
Posts: 605
Hey and welcome!! I hear ya about those xmas invites, my squad have booked it this week, I'm going but I've already said I'm driving, that way I can just leave after the food, I'm not staying around a bunch of wasted colleagues til 3am!!! I'm gonna b tucked up in bed with a cuppa!
Someone else mentioned earlier re Friday afternoon...about drinking something fizzy and eat, definitely a good idea. My cravings always come when I'm thirsty, hungry or tired!!
keep posting here, I'm still struggling with the thought of no booze forever, it's like u mourn it!!
Someone else mentioned earlier re Friday afternoon...about drinking something fizzy and eat, definitely a good idea. My cravings always come when I'm thirsty, hungry or tired!!
keep posting here, I'm still struggling with the thought of no booze forever, it's like u mourn it!!
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