Sad,lonely, hurt
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 533
Sad,lonely, hurt
Just need some help making it through the night.
My last drink was 10 days ago but I swallowed about 60 klonopin over a four day period out of utter despair.
Any kind words would be appreciated
My last drink was 10 days ago but I swallowed about 60 klonopin over a four day period out of utter despair.
Any kind words would be appreciated
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 2,278
I am truly sorry that you feeling these things, I know it isn't nice. Are they coming up because now you 10 days sober and alcohol isn't hiding them anymore? The only way that we can succeed in sobriety is to learn to face these emotions and put them in a place they belong.
Being an addict hasn't worked for us so far and swapping one addiction for another isn't going to work either.. Please don't OD on those benzos, I'm no expert but 60 in a few days sounds like a lot..
Being an addict hasn't worked for us so far and swapping one addiction for another isn't going to work either.. Please don't OD on those benzos, I'm no expert but 60 in a few days sounds like a lot..
That stuff can be dangerous. And especially the amounts you've been taking. 
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 652
I am glad to learn that you have an appointment with the doctor, Shifthappens.
Internet forums are great but sometimes we need more than an internet forum can give on its own. I took some counselling for a while when I was having a tough time through my divorce some years ago. I was referred to a counsellor attached to my doctor's clinic.
I don't know whereabouts you are in the world but perhaps your doctor can offer you similar?
Thanks for checking in. It is good to know that you have made that appointment.
Internet forums are great but sometimes we need more than an internet forum can give on its own. I took some counselling for a while when I was having a tough time through my divorce some years ago. I was referred to a counsellor attached to my doctor's clinic.
I don't know whereabouts you are in the world but perhaps your doctor can offer you similar?
Thanks for checking in. It is good to know that you have made that appointment.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,185
Congratulations on 10 days shift, that is a HUGE achievement. I know it's hard right now but you will be so proud of yourself if you can keep it going.
I know others have already made the point but I had to Google Klonopin and the potential side effects are frightening too. Do be careful.
I know others have already made the point but I had to Google Klonopin and the potential side effects are frightening too. Do be careful.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 1,598
Originally Posted by ShiftHappens 
Just need some help making it through the night.
My last drink was 10 days ago but I swallowed about 60 klonopin over a four day period out of utter despair.
Any kind words would be appreciated
My last drink was 10 days ago but I swallowed about 60 klonopin over a four day period out of utter despair.
Any kind words would be appreciated
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Shift, I'm sorry that you feel so lost and alone. It's good that you have an appointment with your doctor coming up. Maybe you could consider trying to get in to see the dr sooner to talk about you depression?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2019
Location: Colorado
Posts: 347
Originally Posted by ShiftHappens
...Im just very alone....
Feeling pathetic
Can you get to an AA meeting? Screw the message, screw the AA part of it, don't share, don't even listen if you don't want to.
Just go have some coffee and be safe around some people who aren't drinking or drugging. If you feel like finding someone to strike up a conversation, fine, if not, fine.
Maybe take the coffee pot around the room and fill everybody's cup for them.
If I lived near you I'd go with you.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,617
Originally Posted by ShiftHappens
Just need some help making it through the night.
My last drink was 10 days ago but I swallowed about 60 klonopin over a four day period out of utter despair.
Any kind words would be appreciated
My last drink was 10 days ago but I swallowed about 60 klonopin over a four day period out of utter despair.
Any kind words would be appreciated
It's not helping you and will only hurt you. You are doing great by the way with your 10 days!
I'm sorry you are feeling so sad and lonely. Well no need to feel lonely, look at the great group of people you have come across here at SR.
Someone is usually around most of the time so keep posting. You say you are sad, depressed. What's going on with you, is it anything you can talk about?
As for the Doctor, that's far too long to wait. I would give them a call and tell them you need an urgent appointment. Maybe just show up at the office and they might be able to fit you in?
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 1,280
Hello Shift,
10 days is great but it's early days and things will get better!
I liked the following post of yours on another thread from a couple of days ago:
I would heed your own advice.
Benzos are a lifeline for many of us, if used responsibly and as prescribed. 60 klonopin over 4 days is not good and I I think they could have ultimately made you feel sadder that you were previously.
Try and ride things out naturally and use any medicines you have only as prescribed.
Hang on in there and good luck to you.
10 days is great but it's early days and things will get better!
I liked the following post of yours on another thread from a couple of days ago:
Originally Posted by ShiftHappens
I had to log in for this one.
Benzos are NOT alcohol in pill form.
They do hit some of the same receptors making an alcohol detox more comfortable.
They are also the only thing Im aware of that will stop a full blown panic attack once its in full swing.
Annas suggestions are awesome and I try to practice them.
However those prone to attacks need to be vigilant about their self care, environment etc.
The thing about benzos is they work. Very well. But if you take them away your body has a rebound effect.
I liken it to jose conseco who took so many steroids during his playing years his body literally lost its ability to produce them on its own.
If you need them, take them but ONLY under a doctors supervision.
Benzos are NOT alcohol in pill form.
They do hit some of the same receptors making an alcohol detox more comfortable.
They are also the only thing Im aware of that will stop a full blown panic attack once its in full swing.
Annas suggestions are awesome and I try to practice them.
However those prone to attacks need to be vigilant about their self care, environment etc.
The thing about benzos is they work. Very well. But if you take them away your body has a rebound effect.
I liken it to jose conseco who took so many steroids during his playing years his body literally lost its ability to produce them on its own.
If you need them, take them but ONLY under a doctors supervision.
Benzos are a lifeline for many of us, if used responsibly and as prescribed. 60 klonopin over 4 days is not good and I I think they could have ultimately made you feel sadder that you were previously.
Try and ride things out naturally and use any medicines you have only as prescribed.
Hang on in there and good luck to you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 533
John honestly Ì think I was just tired of the fight.
Im tired of the money issues, the never ending battle, the doctors appointments, the lack of anything joyful.
I honestly wanted to just be unconcious and not worry anymore. I just wanted to sleep and have some peace.
A friend of mine from out of state who belongs to AA read me the riot act about "just wanting to stay home and get HIGH all day".
Im done explaining to people about my agoraphobia, lack of confidence, etc.
I dont "get high".
Anything I do/did was to calm down.
Its very hurtful
Im tired of the money issues, the never ending battle, the doctors appointments, the lack of anything joyful.
I honestly wanted to just be unconcious and not worry anymore. I just wanted to sleep and have some peace.
A friend of mine from out of state who belongs to AA read me the riot act about "just wanting to stay home and get HIGH all day".
Im done explaining to people about my agoraphobia, lack of confidence, etc.
I dont "get high".
Anything I do/did was to calm down.
Its very hurtful
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 533
John honestly Ì think I was just tired of the fight.
Im tired of the money issues, the never ending battle, the doctors appointments, the lack of anything joyful.
I honestly wanted to just be unconcious and not worry anymore. I just wanted to sleep and have some peace.
A friend of mine from out of state who belongs to AA read me the riot act about "just wanting to stay home and get HIGH all day".
Im done explaining to people about my agoraphobia, lack of confidence, etc.
I dont "get high".
Anything I do/did was to calm down.
Its very hurtful
Im tired of the money issues, the never ending battle, the doctors appointments, the lack of anything joyful.
I honestly wanted to just be unconcious and not worry anymore. I just wanted to sleep and have some peace.
A friend of mine from out of state who belongs to AA read me the riot act about "just wanting to stay home and get HIGH all day".
Im done explaining to people about my agoraphobia, lack of confidence, etc.
I dont "get high".
Anything I do/did was to calm down.
Its very hurtful
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