Tetrax

I think I had it in Month 2, it's currently Month 4 and I'm feeling irritable. Meetings and groups aren't cutting it anymore. I'm on my own outside of them though. I need a job. I need a rat park. I NEED TO SCREAM!!!

I'm Tetrax, and I'm dealing with the sober condition.

Thanks for listening.

Zucc36

Yes there are going to be some swings in how we feel for a while. Doesn't mean that pink cloud feeling won't return shortly. I went through something similar and rode it out and feel much more stable. Had a friend recently go through the same thing, and he is doing much better now too. This will pass, just keep doing the next right thing.

Misssy2

I like that term "sober condition"....ITS A THING

I don't know if you journaled or anything when you first started or if you have this website with posts and other websites that you could read and reflect on...sometimes that type of exercise helps me to relive the worst parts of my drinking..more so the recovery process.....was hell for me.

Also if you can manage it...real life exercise program with weights and discipline can help if you can manage it...that is a tall order for me.

nez

Yes you are and good at you for doing it!

I don't know about you, but I am a slow learner. I wish I was a natural and picked things up quickly, but that ain't in my cards. The good news is that I do learn. It just happens through repetition and not at the pace I want.

Recovery is sometimes painful and sometimes hurts, but it hurts so good because I am becoming the person that I want to be. Way different than the hurt of my active alcoholism.

Progress, not perfection.

August252015

I remember a peak of irritation about 4 mo. The most inane things made me furious. It deescalated about a week in.

Things even out, and call it the "sober condition" or just....life....and that's the big prize that makes every day more than OK.

djlook

Have you tried asking someone to sponsor you who can help you take the steps in order?

nez

I used to find a tree to scream at. I found them to be good listeners.

DriGuy

I screamed at a tree once, and all I got was a bark.

Dee74

I didn't have a pink cloud which I think helped really - I had to hit the ground running and start building a sober life I loved right away.

It's not a bad concept to aim for.
This too shall pass Tetrax

least

The best thing I did to shore up my sobriety was to practice gratitude every day.

Tetrax

Thanks guys, think I just needed to let that out. I had a satisfying dinner and have started a new therapy I call 'Re-watch the Entire Series of Friends Instead of Depressing True Crime Shows Behaviour Therapy'.

So far so good.

Misssy2

I always say eating can help with most anything except losing weight..LOL

DriGuy

The pink cloud is an interesting phenomenon in that everyone (at least those that talked about it) seemed to experience it. I experienced it at about two weeks. People were in agreement that it wouldn't last very long, but mine lasted about a year as it gradually diminished. I didn't care. It was wonderful, and I just enjoyed it while it was there. My cloud was filled with gratitude. I didn't have to take time out to think about what I was grateful for. It was just there all the time in my face. I would go to bed at night sober and exclaim out loud, "Thank you, Thank you, Thank you." I didn't know who I was expressing this to, and I didn't give a thought as to why. To me, it seemed like an important part of the process of putting my life back together. But like most emotions it may not be possible to explain.

brighterday1234

entropy1964

Yeah the pink cloud is really just another high. What comes up must come down.

The good news is that all feelings change, they just do. Just gotta stay sober through whatever is going on to teach the ole noggin that. Neuroplasticity. Its a thing!

MLD51

I definitely have times when I feel the need to switch off the true crime shows and go with something lighter. Amazing what a difference it can make in my mood after a couple of days. I mean, I love me a good murder story, but it has to have an effect on the psyche to be on a steady diet of death. I can handle it only for so long until I have to watch something fluffy for a while. In early sobriety I really didn't watch much TV at all. I was extra sensitive and the dumbest things made me cry, get angry, or just irritated. Yeah, I understand that irritability really well. All kinds of everyday normal things just irritated me at times early on. Mood swings were nuts. It did get better after 6 months or so. Lots of big changes in those early months - the equilibrium is all off.

Lucinda2

Pink clouds are kind of irritating anyway. I prefer box sets.

Callas

Pink clouds come and go. Happens to everyone, also non-alcoholics. We have to soldier on.

August252015

Re the TV binge-watching- it is delicious to find the most random things to go for. Veronica Mars was a recent choice for us.

RE the pink cloud. A lot of y'all have heard me talk about how I view life in the pink clouds. Pink clouds can be in my sightline most of the time, emotionally, and sometimes literally, by the way I live my life sober. I've never liked the idea you "ride high" for some short amount of time then crash to reality- extremes characterized my drinking not my sobriety. Maintaining a pink spirit is totally possible- like least says, by practicing gratitude, by living in acceptance not challenges or drama - and choosing things that support the best "sober condition" we can have. This viewpoint works well for me.

DriGuy

I blundered onto Veronica Mars a couple years ago and ended up binging on it. It's premise is a frequently used plot, but it's very well done. I may look it up and watch it again.

I can't imagine crashing from the pink cloud, although it might happen, I suppose. Mine lasted so long and diminished so slowly that there was no crash. I've asked myself where it went at times and decided it's still there, but it's just my new normal, and therefore, not so heady.

Emotions are like that. They may even happen without some life change precipitating them. They come and go, and that's how it should be. Resentments were an exception to the rule for me. I was a master at hanging on to them. I could have earned a black belt in resentments if there were such a thing. I could nurture them, feed them, and stretch them out forever, much to my demise.