Snowydelrico

Had a very stressful few days with this mediation business.
How to split the house and share the child care.
I had abuse hurled at me the whole way through.
It was hard to concentrate on the matters at hand.
She said it was best for my daughter not to sleep over at mine (when I get a place) for more than one night a week but I could collect her from school and take her to her’s when she got back from work then I could pick her up in the morning take her for breakfast and to take her to school.
Now having thought about it that doesn’t seem like the best thing for my daughter. It does look like it’s the best thing for my ex as child maintenance is calculated on the nights not the days spent with a parent.

I have been hungry angry lonely ( they have gone on holiday) and tired.
I went for a walk and saw a pub and had a **** it moment. But didn’t follow it up. I have to be extra vigilant
I forced a microwave meal down and had a smoothie, talked with my sister and am posting here.
These are hard times.
She is threatening to have me investigated with the tax man because she thinks I earn more than I have declared.
I won’t be blackmailed.
I will spend £10k on a court order to get 50/50 child care if I have to.
I will spend a further £10k on a court order to sell the house if I have to.

Anna

That does sound very stressful, Snowy. I hope that you can work out a child custody arrangement that works for your child and you.

SoberCAH

What you are going through is inherently stressful.

I think you're doing a good job.

I would definitely not let my mind wander to drinking thoughts, because they (and alcohol) are poison.

We wish you well with your efforts.

SoberRican

Hey friend sorry your going thru this mess. Keep your head on steaight tho. Yes I know she yo baby mama. I get it . but Keep plugging away. Whatever you do dont booze. She will probably use that against you. I dont know where your from. But dad's got rights too. Got an attorney? I would look more into this. That doesnt sound like a fair shake feel me. Reason ? I just went thru a divorce this April. It sucked but I made it thru. Was still boozing at that time .but stopped boozing shortly after. I did it for me first and foremost. And the rewards have been great. 108 days great. So hang in there buddy.

Snowydelrico

April is when we split too.
Got a solicitor and have done a lot of hard work getting to this point.
I have another mediation scheduled for middle of September.
No way I could get free of this abusive relationship and start over if I was drinking. I know that for a fact.
The only way forward is to be sober.
Extreme circumstances force the beast to raise its ugly head.
I will be stronger for it when I have weathered the storms ahead.

108 days is fantastic, your recovery is precious. Look after it and it will look after you. That’s a promise.

Callas

Staying with your resolve through these trying times is a very positive reflection on your determination in recovery.

Dee74

I'm sorry you're going through this Snowy but remember we're always here for support, man

D

daisy1

Not the same thing but I am going through a dog custody battle with my daughter and I'm also having abuse hurled at me. Yes it's testing my sobriety but no way will I give them the satisfaction of proving them right by drinking. Stay strong x

MantaLady

It’s probably worth getting your solicitor to point out that seeking retribution via HMRC on your earnings may very well end up with you getting fines or back taxed, cost money to fight your case in the courts which would result in lower maintenance support payments.

Stay strong and hold onto your sobriety with all you have. It’s your greatest weapon right now! Take care xx

Jules714

Sobriety is the only way to go. Alcoholism *will most definitely be used against you in Court. I am living proof. I lost custody as a Mother to anothrr alcoholic ehi happened to get sober before me. (In fact I started drinking in the last year of an awful marriage, while he was drinking/drugging.
The courts will determine custody, or mediation. Your only hope is to be free of alcohol. You can do this! Keep posting as we are rooting for you.
Jules

Snowydelrico

Had a few fleeting moments of good feeling today.
I’m regrouping slowly.
I knew this wouldn’t be easy.
I have to look after myself, try and eat more and get my strength up for the next battle.
I have a purpose.
These bad feelings will fade as I adjust.
Thanks for all the replies and listening.

Misssy2

And I believe anything you do sober...you WILL succeed.

You have a lot on your plate..but you wouldn't even be able to hold the plate if you were drinking...and you certainly wouldn't easily get any custody.