Haven't Posted in a While: Day 147 check in...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 80
Haven't Posted in a While: Day 147 check in...
I've been meaning to post the past few months, but have been dealing with a number of issues that have made for the most stressful time in my entire life.
And yet, I didn't drink! Not that the thought hasn't crossed my mind MANY times. The idea of making all of this go away for an evening is very appealing. It's a lot of pressure top be dealing with. The problem is that it wouldn't solve a thing, and would most certainly make a bad situation worse. Like really worse.
I remember how many times I experienced debilitating anxiety after a night of drinking, and the thought of being in that place just scares the crap out of me. Not only that, I can literally imagine what my body's response would be to drinking. It would jump start a process that would have horrible consequences, especially at a time when I need to be functioning fully.
The "equity" I have built in my continuing sobriety is becoming more and more important to me. It is the "rock" and foundation from which I am rebuilding who I am into someone stronger, wiser, and more resilient. For this, I am deeply grateful, and to so many of you who share your struggles as well as inspiration in overcoming alcoholism.
If someone had told me two years ago I would have made it this far, along with all of the other changes that have resulted in my sobriety, I would not have believed it possible. In fact, deep down in my heart I knew my days were numbered, and I was headed to an early grave.
To those of you who are reading this who are in the early stages of sobriety, who have had multiple relapses and are thinking about giving up, DON'T! There is an incredible community of support here to help you through it. There are miracles happening here daily...and you can be one of them!
And yet, I didn't drink! Not that the thought hasn't crossed my mind MANY times. The idea of making all of this go away for an evening is very appealing. It's a lot of pressure top be dealing with. The problem is that it wouldn't solve a thing, and would most certainly make a bad situation worse. Like really worse.
I remember how many times I experienced debilitating anxiety after a night of drinking, and the thought of being in that place just scares the crap out of me. Not only that, I can literally imagine what my body's response would be to drinking. It would jump start a process that would have horrible consequences, especially at a time when I need to be functioning fully.
The "equity" I have built in my continuing sobriety is becoming more and more important to me. It is the "rock" and foundation from which I am rebuilding who I am into someone stronger, wiser, and more resilient. For this, I am deeply grateful, and to so many of you who share your struggles as well as inspiration in overcoming alcoholism.
If someone had told me two years ago I would have made it this far, along with all of the other changes that have resulted in my sobriety, I would not have believed it possible. In fact, deep down in my heart I knew my days were numbered, and I was headed to an early grave.
To those of you who are reading this who are in the early stages of sobriety, who have had multiple relapses and are thinking about giving up, DON'T! There is an incredible community of support here to help you through it. There are miracles happening here daily...and you can be one of them!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Nashville, Tennessee
Posts: 348
Hello, again, TacoDude.
It's so good hearing from you. I've been looking forward to seeing your next post. A huge congratulations on your 147 days. I'm like you, I didn't get sober gracefully either. Hardest thing I've ever done in my life.
Yes, you are a miracle. Thank you for posting.
It's so good hearing from you. I've been looking forward to seeing your next post. A huge congratulations on your 147 days. I'm like you, I didn't get sober gracefully either. Hardest thing I've ever done in my life.
Yes, you are a miracle. Thank you for posting.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 1,598
The anxiety man, the freaking anxiety. I call it Hangziety (mix between hangover and anxiety). I would say it is in the top two reasons of why I quit drinking. That anxiety is the WORST. Mine would be accompanied by trouble breathing, heart palpitations, panic attacks, deep dark depression, feelings of self loathing.
I have come to believe though, that that anxiety was a gift from God. When nothing else could seem to keep me sober, that hangziety and the fear of the legal and personal consequences of drinking has scared the crap out of me after 30 years of hard drinking and countless attempts to quit.
Anyway, as you can tell, your post really hit home. Congrats on the sobriety and thank you for coming back around to post.
I have come to believe though, that that anxiety was a gift from God. When nothing else could seem to keep me sober, that hangziety and the fear of the legal and personal consequences of drinking has scared the crap out of me after 30 years of hard drinking and countless attempts to quit.
Anyway, as you can tell, your post really hit home. Congrats on the sobriety and thank you for coming back around to post.
Keep going, it gets better. 
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