Should it be this hard?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 71
Should it be this hard?
Today was hard...I feel like I have the same pattern since I've stopped I wake up grateful and happy I didn't drink I make a pledge to not drink and I get to 4pm and bang something happens I just can't handle it I had a craving for 3 hours today I literally walked around a field with my dog and cried it actually felt like my body was in pain because it wasn't getting what it wanted or should I say thought it wanted.. I actually plan having a drink and all the excuses I'm going to tell myself tomorrow and all the reasons I think I should ....but the thought of waking up tomorrow on day 1 again shaking and being physically sick not being able get put of bed and all the other nastiness that cones with it is scaring me so much that I can't allow it to happen and I honestly believe I won't this time I just didn't realise feeling like this would take over my life...will I ever have a day where it's not a battle??? I'm proud though 23 days today and I'm going to bed sober again x
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by Louise39 
...will I ever have a day where it's not a battle???
You know would is harder than day 23?
Day 1.
Stay strong.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,896
Louise, congrats on 23 days! That is terrific!!
Just curious...what kind of support do you have? Do you attend meetings or see a therapist? Have you checked out SMART or some other type of recovery program? You don't have to go through this alone. Big hugs.
Just curious...what kind of support do you have? Do you attend meetings or see a therapist? Have you checked out SMART or some other type of recovery program? You don't have to go through this alone. Big hugs.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 71
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
Yes. But not today. Today was hard. But you won. And tomorrow may be hard too. Early sobriety is. You'll get past it. That is how it is done, by saying no to your addiction. Hard but you did it.
You know would is harder than day 23?
Day 1.
Stay strong.
You know would is harder than day 23?
Day 1.
Stay strong.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 71
Originally Posted by suki44883
Louise, congrats on 23 days! That is terrific!!
Just curious...what kind of support do you have? Do you attend meetings or see a therapist? Have you checked out SMART or some other type of recovery program? You don't have to go through this alone. Big hugs.
Just curious...what kind of support do you have? Do you attend meetings or see a therapist? Have you checked out SMART or some other type of recovery program? You don't have to go through this alone. Big hugs.
I'm very curious about meetings and have never heard of smart??? I think I'm going to need something extra though I don't feel strong enough at the moment
thank you for your reply so kind x
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
If you haven’t already maybe join the class of August thread. When I first found SR I joined the monthly thread with others who were at the same stage in their sobriety journey. It really helped having a little group of us all going through the same thoughts and feelings, supporting each other and being able to check in each day and not feel so alone and isolated. Congrats on day 23 and like Carl says, keep strong! x
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
Congrats on over 3 weeks sober! 
To shore up your sobriety and make you feel better too, try practicing gratitude every day. Each day find at least one thing you are grateful for. Try it. It helps me a lot. 
https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/o...pier.html?_r=0
To shore up your sobriety and make you feel better too, try practicing gratitude every day. Each day find at least one thing you are grateful for. Try it. It helps me a lot. https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/o...pier.html?_r=0
Member
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 405
Congratulations on 23 days of sobriety Louise that is awesome!
Yes early sobriety is a struggle but I promise it will pay off in the end. I had struggles myself in the early days and there were times I wanted to throw in the towel. Today I am happy and there is absolutely nothing on this planet that I treasure more than my sobriety.
When you hit a rough patch check here for support and remember that this too shall pass.
Yes early sobriety is a struggle but I promise it will pay off in the end. I had struggles myself in the early days and there were times I wanted to throw in the towel. Today I am happy and there is absolutely nothing on this planet that I treasure more than my sobriety.
When you hit a rough patch check here for support and remember that this too shall pass.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: upstate new york
Posts: 131
it does sound like you could use some support . it wasn't that long ago I felt just like you. I couldn't even make it 24 hrs. trying to live in my own head so great job on the 23 days. most people will tell you it's extremely difficult to go it alone. AA worked for me but theres many paths to take. here's a good start. maybe try to find something to add to it, preferably face to face and I bet you find things will get better.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 1,276
Hi Louise..I don't know if you know but I was sober for 8 years one time...and the first year for me was like that everyday.....and somehow...I stuck to the mindset you are in...
I went thru the "feelings"....the "craving withdrawals"....I feel like there are detox withdrawals and then...you have to go thru a stage...where cravings are going to hit...you have to try as hard as you can to "withdraw" yourself ….distract yourself....EATING helps a real lot.
You feel like you are in disbelief that this "alcohol" is so powerful.
You feel like any minute you are going to be on SR typing that you drank.
Its almost unbearable..but because you got by it today....You could be proud...and that builds your confidence and shows you are growing...
I'm happy for you that you didn't drink.
I went thru the "feelings"....the "craving withdrawals"....I feel like there are detox withdrawals and then...you have to go thru a stage...where cravings are going to hit...you have to try as hard as you can to "withdraw" yourself ….distract yourself....EATING helps a real lot.
You feel like you are in disbelief that this "alcohol" is so powerful.
You feel like any minute you are going to be on SR typing that you drank.
Its almost unbearable..but because you got by it today....You could be proud...and that builds your confidence and shows you are growing...
I'm happy for you that you didn't drink.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 2
Originally Posted by Louise39
thank you so much x I don't have any support at all just here and I'm trying to read as much as I can about sobriety
I'm very curious about meetings and have never heard of smart??? I think I'm going to need something extra though I don't feel strong enough at the moment
thank you for your reply so kind x
I'm very curious about meetings and have never heard of smart??? I think I'm going to need something extra though I don't feel strong enough at the moment
thank you for your reply so kind x
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,199
I know that feeling so well Louise. On one of my failed attempts to quit I felt like that nearly every day and finally caved in on day 49 when the overwhelming urge to drink in the evening still hadn't ceased. In desperation I tried getting up at zero dark thirty every morning, doing an hour's walking or jogging before work - and it WORKED! The cravings reduced significantly in the evenings and of course I was super tired by 9pm and ready for bed and sleep which of course eliminated any cravings after that time. Another benefit which was a total surprise and bonus was that my mood improved noticeably and made quitting for good seem much less daunting.
For me, something other than willpower was essential because I could not kick my half a bottle of whiskey plus a day habit on willpower alone. My method was not very sophisticated or mindful but to my huge relief it worked.
It's just an idea.
For me, something other than willpower was essential because I could not kick my half a bottle of whiskey plus a day habit on willpower alone. My method was not very sophisticated or mindful but to my huge relief it worked.
It's just an idea.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
Hi
It does get easier I promise!
One thing that helped me in the early days os stopping drinking was having sugary snack around 3pm to 4pm.
I would have an orange juice, a doughnut, ice cream or a hot chocolate.
I often drove through a drive thru so that I didn't have to go into a shop that probably sold alcohol.
AA teaches us that a sugary snack can help with cravings.
In my experience it did.
Why don't you try it and see how you feel?
It does get easier I promise!
One thing that helped me in the early days os stopping drinking was having sugary snack around 3pm to 4pm.
I would have an orange juice, a doughnut, ice cream or a hot chocolate.
I often drove through a drive thru so that I didn't have to go into a shop that probably sold alcohol.
AA teaches us that a sugary snack can help with cravings.
In my experience it did.
Why don't you try it and see how you feel?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,169
At 23 days, I would expect our alcoholism to test us. Our AVs have had their way with us for years, and they will occasionally throw tantrums, but like us, our AV needs to grow up as much as we do, and with time, your AV will learn acceptance too.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2019
Location: Colorado
Posts: 347
Louise, life is difficult, no question. I know from experience that drinking feels like a good temporary relief from the pain. Tastes good, feels good.
The problem is that the relief isn't actually real, and when it wears off nothing's any easier and sometimes it's worse.
May I make a suggestion? Don't try to go it alone.
The problem is that the relief isn't actually real, and when it wears off nothing's any easier and sometimes it's worse.
May I make a suggestion? Don't try to go it alone.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2019
Location: Colorado
Posts: 347
Louise, I'd like to add something I learned from painful experience. No one can tell you for sure if things will get better or worse, easier or more difficult. I think it's actually very dangerous to tie not drinking to how your life is going one way or another.
The only thing anyone can promise you, I think, is that if you aren't drinking you'll be genuinely better able to deal with the good and bad of life.
Did I mention, don't try to go it alone? Oh, yeah, that's right, I did!
The only thing anyone can promise you, I think, is that if you aren't drinking you'll be genuinely better able to deal with the good and bad of life.
Did I mention, don't try to go it alone? Oh, yeah, that's right, I did!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 71
Thank you again everyone it's obe of the things I'm most thankful for right now is that I can grab my phone and have an instant support system here x
I defianatty need some extra help which I'm looking into right now
I defianatty need some extra help which I'm looking into right now
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