GrayJ

Yay me.

The 'voice' has decided to pay me a visit over the last few days. Something I never thought I'd do is seek help - possibly through AA. I Googled meetings earlier on and they have several a week in the town I live in. It's just ... sometimes I want to talk about being sober more than I do. I have had nothing but support from my immediate family (don't keep in touch with my extended family anyway) and my best friend and his family. They are all the people closest to me so that feels great. I've been quite open with a few people at my new job about how I no longer drink and I've had my first "Oh you must boring on a night out" comment which was said in jest but still touched a nerve. Not that it really rings true ofcourse, because I would choose a night in over a night out at a pub/bar anyday.

Actually, my new job is as a support worker and we try to get the guys we support out as much as possible. There are a few pubs nearby and one day on shift, a colleague and I took 2 of the service users for a drink (non-alcoholic as they don't drink anyway) and when we got to the pub I felt this kind of relief wash over me. I was apprehensive about going because 1) Alcohol is tempting to me and 2) If I felt tempted I would become irritable and not at all pleasant to be around. But when we got there, I just looked at these people getting hammered at 4 o'clock (and they REALLY were) in the afternoon and didn't feel temptation at all. It was actually more of a repellent. Having said that, I couldn't wait to leave - though the people did seem nice enough.

So, I just feel like - maybe a meeting would be a good idea. I dont know what I am in terms of a label. Do we even need to label it? I suppose that's my biggest concern - the fact that the word 'alcoholic' is in the name of the group.

Sorry for rambling. Also, this post has made me consider taking up journaling (typing this felt great).

Gray x

least

You could always start a blog here.

I'd say, get all the help you need, from wherever you can find it.

Congrats on five months sober!

Ghostlight1

Journaling is a great idea especially since your post made you feel better.
I think going to a meeting is a great idea, too.
I readily identify as an alcoholic. So I have no problem with that.
AA is for anyone with a desire to quit drinking. Which of course, in a general way, is people whom have reached the point of being alcoholic.

I'll tell you what, at the meeting I went to early on and decided to speak saying, 'my name is and I'm an alcoholic' was so cathartic. It felt like a load had been lifted off my chest.
In some bizarre way I feel proud admitting I'm an alcoholic. Anyone close to me had pretty much figured it out anyway.
I tell people in drinking situations. It's been over ten years since I've drank so unless it's a new person in my life everyone knows. And to the new people, I don't blurt out, 'I'm an alcoholic!'. Unless they ask why, I just say I don't drink.

But anyway, if you don't want to label yourself as an alcoholic because of the stigma or whatever, don't.
You can still attend meetings.
I hope this makes some sense. Do whatever is best for you to stay sober. You're here, and that's great. And congratulations on five months. That is awesome.
Best to you in sobriety.

Dee74

I hope you decide to check a meeting out and that it proves beneficial GrayJ

D

GrayJ

Thanks guys!! And Ghostlight I dont think it's bizarre at all. Brought a smile to my face that you are proud of it.

Gonna go and by a journal in town tomorrow. And definitely thinking about attending a meeting!

brighterday1234

Tetrax

Being around other people doing the same thing as you (quitting drinking) can be a powerful thing.

aasharon90

Support coming your way from me who uses the
AA program of recovery for the past 29 yrs. I learned
a lot from opening my heart and mind for any and
all help possible to teach me how to live a happy,
healthy, honest way of life sober.

There is soooo much help available to all who
seek guidance and help for addictions, whether
it be from drugs, alcohol, prescription meds,
food, gambling and yes, sex.

Addiction doesn't have to kill us if we wish to
learn how to incorporate healthy changes in
our everyday life.

None of us ever go thru this change alone or
by ourselves. Coming here and asking for suggestions
or ideas to guide you in seeking that help is encouraging
and powerful.

With continued willingness to learn each new
day then you are well on your way to becoming
the best, healthiest, happies sober person you
can be moving forward in your life.

Never stop learning as it becomes power in your pocket.

August252015

Glad you re here and great job on 5 mo!

I believe outside help is always a goo idea.

If you go to AA meetings, all you need is a desire to stop drinking. Thinking about "what" you are doesn't have to be decided right. I'' assuming you stopped drinking because it was a problem enough in your life. Also, you don't have to identify yourself by name or anything else.

Why not give it a try? You definitely don't have to go it alone- and fam support is great, but if none of them are alcoholics they just won't totally get it - AND your focus needs to be on you and not reliance on others.

Good luck.

Obladi

Hi Gray,

I don't adhere to any single approach to my problem with alcohol. Everything I've done to seek lasting sobriety has helped me. I would strongly encourage you to go to a meeting. Not just once, because it may take a while for things to sink in, like they did for me. At the meeting I attended last night, one of the guys said, "Since I couldn't figure out what to do, I decided to go to AA meetings until I did figure it out." I thought that was a great approach.

There's nothing like being in the company of people who 100% "get" you. Even when I don't agree with people, it doesn't matter. They've been where I've been, kind of like war buddies.

Couple of pointers on your first meeting:
- You don't have to say you're an alcoholic. You can say My name is Gray and my problem is alcohol or I am powerless over alcohol or I have claimed my power by not taking the first drink or really, anything.
- If you call your local chapter, they can help arrange for someone to accompany you to the meeting.
- If called on to speak, you are free to say whatever is in your heart at the moment regarding alcohol. Or you can say, "I'd like to just listen today, thanks."

Hope some of that is helpful.

Wonderful job on making it 5 months and coming here to post about your need for something more to bolster your sobriety.

O

D122y

I am a broken record, but it is what keeps me clean so far.

I imagine going to meetings, therapy, meds, etc etc get to feel like a broken record as well.

Addiction is a broken record anyway. Folks regret relapse after years of wonderful sobriety.

I used to think that after a month or so I was no longer physically addicted. I was wrong. After a week or so, I am not in danger of having a stroke going through detox, but i am still healing/changing after all this time.

I lost a few pounds with a lifestyle change recently. Basically, I stopped eating huge portions once or twice a day. Now I eat small portions, 4 to 5 times a day.

Losing that weight reminded me of how I felt during my first few days and months sober. I call it ptsd. I didn't have full on heart racing panic attacks, but I felt something.

Bottom line, I have brain damage from drinking too much for too long. I believe all drinkers have it and it will never heal.

I must analyze this and use this when the crave strikes. I believe any uncomfortable, happy, sad, angry, tired, etc etc etc....cause me craves.

I still get them and I believe no amount of "whatever" will ever make them go away.

I have to be a big boy and suffer through, by any means necessary. E.g. the gym, roller coaster, rib eye steak, 30 min walk, yoga, AA meeting, volunteer work, sr reading/posting...etc etc etc.

It is called living with an addiction. I choose to just call it living. It is a blessing.

Sr saved my life.

Thanks.

GrayJ

Thanks so much to everyone for your replies and words of encouragement. I'm hoping I muster up the courage to get myself to a meeting. I will post if I do!

Thanks again

Gray x

AnvilheadII

i say seek out ALL the help available. find what fits for you and what best supports your ongoing recovery. explore it all!

tomsteve

thats exactly what i needed to help me get through the doors of my first meeting. courage didnt mean the adsence of fear. it helped me walk through them doors in spite of fear.
i eventually took a look at why i had that fear. im walkin into a place where im going to get help,support,and guidance yet fearful?
turned out that fear was fear of the unkown. i had no idea what my life without alcohol would be like
fear of the known- what my life with alcohol still in it would be like- helped me get the courage.
it got easier and easier to walk into a meeting after that first one.

GrayJ

Thanks Tomsteve, very helpful

Gray x

brighterday1234

DriGuy

Its customary to introduce yourself as, "... and I'm an alcoholic," every time you speak at a meeting. I haven't noticed that not doing so is problematic for anyone. When I joined I was still trying to figure out what I was, so I just introduced myself with, "... and I have a problem with alcohol." After listening to the stories of all the others, I eventually began introducing myself as an alcoholic, to a round of joyful applause the first time I did it. Worrying about the correct label was mostly a pedantic issue for me.

Actually, I am still reluctant to think of myself as an alcoholic, and I rarely pass that judgement on others, but it's customary at meetings, and I think it can serve a useful purpose, although I'm not sure.

Deciding on whether I should announce myself as an alcoholic, is mostly a semantic issue for me, even today. I was drinking a quart of whisky each day and occasionally falling down. The label was really of little importance. However, I was quite certain that I had become a hopeless drunk in need of help, and I believe with a high degree of certainty that drinking again would return me to that hopeless state.

I don't know if I could drink again with impunity, but "high degree of certainty" is all I really need to keep in mind. Some things we can never really know. But knowing isn't always that important.

August252015

It might feel weird but you can always say "pass" if it's an around the room thing.

Also - Gray, sometimes people feel more comfortable going to a meeting with a friend. An "open meeting" is just that- open to anyone, not just alcoholics or those with any problem drinking. You mentioned friends who are supportive- would one of them go with you?

SoberCAH

I think you are very wise for considering AA, Grayj.

I haven't had a drink since I walked into a meeting many years ago.

I've had the life I always wanted as a young man, albeit without the vainglory and other silliness.

Keep us posted.

I still go after all these years.

Meraviglioso

In the meetings I have attended this summer I have heard people introduce themselves various ways. Yes, it is most common to say "I'm Meraviglioso and I'm an alcoholic" But I have heard:

I'm Gray, I'm just here to listen
I would rather not speak right now
Pass
I'm Gray, I have a problem with alcohol
I'm Gray, I don't really know what's going on
I'm Gray, I'm an addict
I'm Gray, hello
I'm Gray.
(silent, turns head and looks at the next person to indicate to them to go ahead)


All of the above introductions were met with warmth and understanding. Sometimes someone in the meeting gets a meeting schedule and then passes it to the people of your same gender for them to write their names and phone numbers (and not everyone puts their number) and then they bring that paper to you. A lot of people accept it, but I have seen others say "no thank you, I am not ready for that just yet" and there was no offence taken. The person delivering it usually said "ok, well welcome to you, I hope to see you again"

Best of luck to you!