3 weeks 😊
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 71
3 weeks 😊
3 weeks today and I've finally been booked in for some much needed therapy something I would have never gone to before but this time I'm trying everything I'm so nervous as I feel like I have 20 +years of horrible things I've never dealt with but I know I need to go if I'm going to beat this once and for all...also how long will I feel like I just want to be on my own I feel so selfish at the moment and it will never ever happen but I feel so needed by so many people I just want them all to give me a break I've never wanted to be in a room on my own ever I'm hoping it will go away and soon and I never ever talk about these things but I must ask as I know I won't judged on here but I've completely lost any feelings toward my partner I want a break from being intimate I'm finding it hard being sober and feeling that way towards him we have only been together 1 yr and a half and I'm feeling so suffocated by him and my family..... but on the upside a friend said today " I don't know you don't drink with your life" I laughed it off but thought NO if I have even one more drink I will never change what i need to and this will go on forever ..I need to learn to speak up and stick uo for myself and say I've had enough...I'm sure I've said this before on here but maybe one day I will find my voice lol
on another note I read somewhere today a lady describe her sobriety by saying "I treat it like a precious gem that must be protected at ALL costs"
I'm going to sleep thankful I'm not alone and I have SR ❤ Im binge watching a program called vikings at the moment it's strange it helps me fall asleep but it's what I look forward to at the end of the day...I need recomendations for when it's finished as I'm panicking already 😂 goodnight everyone x
on another note I read somewhere today a lady describe her sobriety by saying "I treat it like a precious gem that must be protected at ALL costs"
I'm going to sleep thankful I'm not alone and I have SR ❤ Im binge watching a program called vikings at the moment it's strange it helps me fall asleep but it's what I look forward to at the end of the day...I need recomendations for when it's finished as I'm panicking already 😂 goodnight everyone x
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Congrats on 3 weeks 
I'm a very private person and even though married with a family I need time alone pretty often. It's not being selfish, it's self preservation, for my mental health and wellbeing.
Putting your needs first and being alone, not meeting up with people or doing stuff with them isn't selfish. It's putting yourself, your needs, your sobriety first. It's self preservation. Learning how to say no to people and meaning it is so important in sobriety.
I'm a very private person and even though married with a family I need time alone pretty often. It's not being selfish, it's self preservation, for my mental health and wellbeing.
Putting your needs first and being alone, not meeting up with people or doing stuff with them isn't selfish. It's putting yourself, your needs, your sobriety first. It's self preservation. Learning how to say no to people and meaning it is so important in sobriety.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Hi Louise, and great job on 3 weeks of sobriety.
I think you are beginning to deal with your emotions without benefit of alcohol. I know that my feelings were all over the place in the first weeks of recovery. Don't assume that your lack of feelings and no desire for intimacy with your partner will continue. Try to be kind to yourself and try to make time alone for yourself, too.
I think you are beginning to deal with your emotions without benefit of alcohol. I know that my feelings were all over the place in the first weeks of recovery. Don't assume that your lack of feelings and no desire for intimacy with your partner will continue. Try to be kind to yourself and try to make time alone for yourself, too.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Congratulations on three weeks, that is awesome.
I agree with Anna. Things will straighten themselves out in due time.
And good luck with therapy, I hope it helps. I know it helped me.
Best to you in sobriety.
I agree with Anna. Things will straighten themselves out in due time.
And good luck with therapy, I hope it helps. I know it helped me.
Best to you in sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 1,276
You probably have tried to make boundaries before but it is rare that people respect boundaries from someone who is intoxicated...they thought you didn't really mean it....or they thought they didn't have to respect your boundaries because you were drinking.
My family did not understand when I quit in 2005.....that I needed a lot of time to myself (I was going to meetings) and that I didn't CARE what they thought...LITERALLY I knew my LIFE was at risk.
I believe your life is at risk also....So you SHOULD be setting those boundaries sober and don't be afraid to say you are fighting for your life and you will get "back to them" when you feel better.
Use the thing everyone uses....You have to put your "oxygen" on first before you can save anyone else....Right now your oxygen is caring for YOURSELF.
Your boyfriend...if your not "feeling" him sober...tell him that....I left my husband after 22 years because I was not "feeling" him sober...And I KNEW I could not stay sober with him continuing to be my husband....
So, when I was sober 1 year...and strong enough I thought to handle life on my own....I asked him to leave....its been about 13 years since then....and although I drank again and have 50+days.....now..
Losing that relationship was a great help to me staying sober for 8 years....I broke it off after 22 years....you can break it off after 1 year....to save YOU.
Besides you quit drinking so you are CAPABLE OF ANYTHING.
My family did not understand when I quit in 2005.....that I needed a lot of time to myself (I was going to meetings) and that I didn't CARE what they thought...LITERALLY I knew my LIFE was at risk.
I believe your life is at risk also....So you SHOULD be setting those boundaries sober and don't be afraid to say you are fighting for your life and you will get "back to them" when you feel better.
Use the thing everyone uses....You have to put your "oxygen" on first before you can save anyone else....Right now your oxygen is caring for YOURSELF.
Your boyfriend...if your not "feeling" him sober...tell him that....I left my husband after 22 years because I was not "feeling" him sober...And I KNEW I could not stay sober with him continuing to be my husband....
So, when I was sober 1 year...and strong enough I thought to handle life on my own....I asked him to leave....its been about 13 years since then....and although I drank again and have 50+days.....now..
Losing that relationship was a great help to me staying sober for 8 years....I broke it off after 22 years....you can break it off after 1 year....to save YOU.
Besides you quit drinking so you are CAPABLE OF ANYTHING.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 143
Congratulations on your sober time. I felt suffocated by my first husband and his family while we were engaged. Things got a lot worse once we had a child. His family tried to totally take over. Once I had the second things totally fell apart. I eventually divorced him. Have a look inside your heart. The answer will come.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 1,614
Hello and congrats on sober time. When your feeling down. Just keep getting up. Keep going in. Keep being there. Keep moving. Whatever it is that you need to do to get through it keep doing it......and also. ......keep coming back
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
