what about the beauty?
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Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 25
what about the beauty?
I am not in any way saying I should ever drink again, I am not in any way saying anybody should, I am sharing a thought thats been on my mind for the last month of sobriety.
I know, as well as any of you, the destruction that alcohol can cause, Id tell my sad tale of the problems it has caused me, and they are epic and almost 100% of what is wrong in my life right now. Lets be real, alcohol is one hell of a drug, and a vicious one.
But what about the beauty? My oldest son goes off to college on a full academic ride, I was a single father for 18 years. He was conceived on my birthday when I was hammered and bugged his mom until she let me come over. Thats some cold hard honesty right there.
What about my youngest daughter? different mom but honestly again that was a drunk thing, and that little girl is my sweetheart, I am no poet, and I could not express my love for my children, but you will die quickly if you try to harm them, lets leave it there.
What about the beauty? What about the truth that I was a nerdy (still nerdy) kid, and when I say nerdy I mean if I have a night alone my default activity is reading scientific journals. Ive probably read 20 studies on the NRF2 pathway. I was great at sports, mostly due to reading stuff as a kid, but yea, I'm a nerd. So what about the beauty?
You try being a kid with a perfect ACT and a full academic ride with bonus money for sports from a strict household... then you realize you can meet girls, and they might like you, and you realize beer is fun.
Alcohol became the backbone of my social life. To this day I have no idea how to make friends except "drinking situations". So I can't hate alcohol, I don't think, it has defined my life, in various ways. It has made almost all of my friends, even the ones htat like me sober, its just the culture I came of age in, "wanna have a beer or something" means "wanna talk or something"
Business meetings call for drink, every party looking for an edge, and drunk people are stupid. I used to drink only amstel light at those, because it was "imported", so classy, yet very low alcohol content. To keep my edge.
My children are here because of alcohol, my friends are here because of alcohol although they love me even sober, but they met me through alcohol.
My greatest spurts of creativity are when buzzed (nothing, NOTHING, good comes out of a bender).
I know the downside all too well, all too well. But what about the beauty?
I know, as well as any of you, the destruction that alcohol can cause, Id tell my sad tale of the problems it has caused me, and they are epic and almost 100% of what is wrong in my life right now. Lets be real, alcohol is one hell of a drug, and a vicious one.
But what about the beauty? My oldest son goes off to college on a full academic ride, I was a single father for 18 years. He was conceived on my birthday when I was hammered and bugged his mom until she let me come over. Thats some cold hard honesty right there.
What about my youngest daughter? different mom but honestly again that was a drunk thing, and that little girl is my sweetheart, I am no poet, and I could not express my love for my children, but you will die quickly if you try to harm them, lets leave it there.
What about the beauty? What about the truth that I was a nerdy (still nerdy) kid, and when I say nerdy I mean if I have a night alone my default activity is reading scientific journals. Ive probably read 20 studies on the NRF2 pathway. I was great at sports, mostly due to reading stuff as a kid, but yea, I'm a nerd. So what about the beauty?
You try being a kid with a perfect ACT and a full academic ride with bonus money for sports from a strict household... then you realize you can meet girls, and they might like you, and you realize beer is fun.
Alcohol became the backbone of my social life. To this day I have no idea how to make friends except "drinking situations". So I can't hate alcohol, I don't think, it has defined my life, in various ways. It has made almost all of my friends, even the ones htat like me sober, its just the culture I came of age in, "wanna have a beer or something" means "wanna talk or something"
Business meetings call for drink, every party looking for an edge, and drunk people are stupid. I used to drink only amstel light at those, because it was "imported", so classy, yet very low alcohol content. To keep my edge.
My children are here because of alcohol, my friends are here because of alcohol although they love me even sober, but they met me through alcohol.
My greatest spurts of creativity are when buzzed (nothing, NOTHING, good comes out of a bender).
I know the downside all too well, all too well. But what about the beauty?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 405
Alcohol certainly wasn't 100% bad during the course of my active addiction. I'd be lying if I said it was and there is no way I would have gotten addicted if it was all bad. I had some fun times and definitely some crazy stories.
Ultimately the bad outweighed the good and alcohol has no place in my life anymore. I don't want it and my life is exponentially better without it.
So to answer your question I can cherish fond memories when drinking was a part of my life and I look forward to many fond memories with drinking not being a part of my life.
Ultimately the bad outweighed the good and alcohol has no place in my life anymore. I don't want it and my life is exponentially better without it.
So to answer your question I can cherish fond memories when drinking was a part of my life and I look forward to many fond memories with drinking not being a part of my life.
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Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 1,614
For me that beauty is a mirage....fake ass s&#t . it dictated my life for so long. That pink cloud of boozing burst a loooong time ago.lol. booze can take its beauty and shove it where the Sun don't shine. Real talk. The past is the past for me. Moving forward day 95 aint no jive. Keep coming back
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: England
Posts: 645
Yes your life may have been different if things hadn't happened due to your use of alcohol. That's no reason to be grateful to alcohol in my opinion. You will never know how different your life would have been because you can't go back and try the alcohol free route.
As Carl suggests, and I think he is a very wise contributor to this forum, it sounds like you are romanticising the 'good ole days.'
As Carl suggests, and I think he is a very wise contributor to this forum, it sounds like you are romanticising the 'good ole days.'
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Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 598
Yes, I can relate to what you say. I had a good time with alcohol. Unfortunately it ended up at a stage where the negative outweighed the positive. It almost became a mathematical exercise. I can live without the fun of drinking but I can’t live with the horror of withdrawal. And that is that.
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Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 710
I have had many good times where drink was involved because drink has been a very significant part of my life. It is a bit like saying that many good experiences I had are associated to my (normally) long hair.
Your examples seem strange to me. But beauty is on the eye of the beholder they say: unwanted pregnancies, single parenting, bringing up children by alcohol abusers, inability to socialise without changing who you are... how does nerdy and alcohol link together?
It must be nice to still see good things about alcohol though. The biggest regret I have is the years wasted for no good reason. I would love to see some beauty there. There is no compensating factor for me. Many years of my life would have been much better (the bad and the good and everything in between) if I had been there fully. I hope I will not forget that lesson ever.
Your examples seem strange to me. But beauty is on the eye of the beholder they say: unwanted pregnancies, single parenting, bringing up children by alcohol abusers, inability to socialise without changing who you are... how does nerdy and alcohol link together?
It must be nice to still see good things about alcohol though. The biggest regret I have is the years wasted for no good reason. I would love to see some beauty there. There is no compensating factor for me. Many years of my life would have been much better (the bad and the good and everything in between) if I had been there fully. I hope I will not forget that lesson ever.
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: England
Posts: 645
I wonder if this couple look back and think how lucky they were to have been meth addicts. They might not have met otherwise.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-49213727
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-49213727
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Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 2,402
I suspect a high percentage of the world’s population is created either as a direct or indirect consequence of alcohol. Take that how you will but it’s been like that since people started crushing grapes and brewing barley.
But for me I’m an alcoholic and so alcohol will destroy me and everything in my life if I was to let it. I don’t regret my past and I’m grateful for it; I’m grateful for my alcoholism as it’s given me a wonderful setup life in recovery. Alcohol gives alcoholics a great deal which is why they become alcoholics but then it stops giving and starts taking.
It’s normal to mourn alcohol and it was like a year long bereavement for me in the first year. But it’s important not to get euphoric recall and romanticism of alcohol confused with the reality. As always it’s not possible to unpickle a cucumber so those old experiences are gone and can’t be rekindled. Recovery is about learning how to live sober and it’s not easy without a chemical crutch but you get used to it over time and with practice. My life is great and I can do a lot more sober than I ever could under the influence.
But for me I’m an alcoholic and so alcohol will destroy me and everything in my life if I was to let it. I don’t regret my past and I’m grateful for it; I’m grateful for my alcoholism as it’s given me a wonderful setup life in recovery. Alcohol gives alcoholics a great deal which is why they become alcoholics but then it stops giving and starts taking.
It’s normal to mourn alcohol and it was like a year long bereavement for me in the first year. But it’s important not to get euphoric recall and romanticism of alcohol confused with the reality. As always it’s not possible to unpickle a cucumber so those old experiences are gone and can’t be rekindled. Recovery is about learning how to live sober and it’s not easy without a chemical crutch but you get used to it over time and with practice. My life is great and I can do a lot more sober than I ever could under the influence.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
I had good things happen to me in my 20 or 30 years of drinking or drugging too - but the way I see it now those good things happened in spite of my addiction not because of them.
My addiction ripped me away from everything and everyone I held dear - I have no fondness for it.
D
My addiction ripped me away from everything and everyone I held dear - I have no fondness for it.
D
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 850
Anything good that happened while I was drinking is miniscule to the destruction it caused me.
Injuries, friendships, sexual assault, depression, self harm, illness - all from alcohol. And I still didn’t quit.
I had to drag myself out of the dark pit I was in. Alcohol is no friend of mine and can stay at the bottom. It’s not taking me back there.
Injuries, friendships, sexual assault, depression, self harm, illness - all from alcohol. And I still didn’t quit.
I had to drag myself out of the dark pit I was in. Alcohol is no friend of mine and can stay at the bottom. It’s not taking me back there.
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
Anything good that occurred during the years I drank, happened despite my drinking, not because of my drinking.
The beauty of my alcoholism only began when I sought, found, and fought for my recovery because without sinking as low as I did, I never would have done the work necessary to become the person that I am today.
The beauty of my alcoholism only began when I sought, found, and fought for my recovery because without sinking as low as I did, I never would have done the work necessary to become the person that I am today.
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Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Lost in the Caribbean
Posts: 73
Kind of at the same point of not knowing right or wrong of alcohol. I know it hurts me in the long run, but my life, job, and career working on yachts alcohol is always there. I left the us in 2005 and have lived mostly in the Caribbean the last 10 years. But other countries and Islands as well. Just went to a funeral from an island friend that his liver failed and he died. I lasted a week, got a job call, sold a motorcycle today, enough of a reason in my head to buy a bottle of rum. Not going crazy, just a rum drink. But for the first time it doesn't scare me that I know the rum is killing me. It's the fact that I know it and don't really care
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Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: NY
Posts: 327
I had fun and good things happened when I was drunk.
I don’t hate alcohol, if people do not have a problem with
It God bless em! It turned on me turned me into an uncaring sot.
I used to say alcohol took everything away from me. No I gave it away and I do not have to do that anymore
I don’t hate alcohol, if people do not have a problem with
It God bless em! It turned on me turned me into an uncaring sot.
I used to say alcohol took everything away from me. No I gave it away and I do not have to do that anymore
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
If either of your children came to you and said they felt unconfident when trying to make friends and had difficulty fitting in, struggled to get boys / girls to give them a chance in a romantic way what would you advise? Would you tell them to start drinking as alcohol will fix all of those things for them and that alcohol will bring so much beauty into their lives?
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
interesting examples.
i see it differently.
my daughters may well have been conceived when drinking led to drunken sex...and while they are, luckily, healthy decent sane people, i’d never say this is an example of how beauty came from alcohol.
in fact, it is one of my deep regrets that they were likely conceived in the ugliness of drunken sex rather than a sober, loving, mutually present act.
the beauty came despite the booze.
i see it differently.
my daughters may well have been conceived when drinking led to drunken sex...and while they are, luckily, healthy decent sane people, i’d never say this is an example of how beauty came from alcohol.
in fact, it is one of my deep regrets that they were likely conceived in the ugliness of drunken sex rather than a sober, loving, mutually present act.
the beauty came despite the booze.
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Right here, right now
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Reminds me of a long long time ago in my youth trying to end an abusive relationship where the guy also cheated on me and dealt drugs. I was like what about how good looking he was, what about the money he had, the nice car, the gifts he gave me, the promises, the great sex. What about the beauty?
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