Don’t know why I’m back
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: England
Posts: 674
Don’t know why I’m back
Some of you must be fed up of me fleeting in and out over the years, must be annoying I’m so useless at this getting sober business. I really really need it now more than ever
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 1,276
Well I don't know you..but I do know because you are like me....an alcoholic...that you are lucky you are still alive.
I also know as an alcoholic that has had long time sober and then started drinking again...how you "think" people think about you not being able to stay stopped.
From being on both sides...right now I am on the sober side for 41 or 42 days....that when I see someone struggling...the only thing I think about is I am GLAD I am NOT ….and I know deep down what that struggle is...and although we think people are "judging" us....they really don't have a personal investment in our sobriety...so people come and go all the time....and
I have a real connection to someone that struggles because I did...so I will never be "sick" of seeing the same person over and over.
What I say is wow...they made it back....I hope they can stay sober....I hope that doesn't happen to me again.
I also know as an alcoholic that has had long time sober and then started drinking again...how you "think" people think about you not being able to stay stopped.
From being on both sides...right now I am on the sober side for 41 or 42 days....that when I see someone struggling...the only thing I think about is I am GLAD I am NOT ….and I know deep down what that struggle is...and although we think people are "judging" us....they really don't have a personal investment in our sobriety...so people come and go all the time....and
I have a real connection to someone that struggles because I did...so I will never be "sick" of seeing the same person over and over.
What I say is wow...they made it back....I hope they can stay sober....I hope that doesn't happen to me again.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
I doubt anyone is annoyed - I'm not 
I think you need a plan tho Room - if nothing else maybe it's time to try posting here daily for a while - you might get some ideas of what else to do?
D
I think you need a plan tho Room - if nothing else maybe it's time to try posting here daily for a while - you might get some ideas of what else to do?
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: England
Posts: 674
It’s just stupid, I hate myself some days. I joined this site maybe 10/ 11 /12 years ago, Why can’t i learn, it’s not that I even get drunk anymore, think I am so immune to the stuff it don’t effect me anymore until withdrawal starts then I get get scared so have a drink. I am booked in for CBT, they think I’m completely sober though, as I was when that was arranged
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
I think fear keeps a lot of us drinking.
The problem is that alcoholism is progressive and eventually the fear of not quitting gets worse than the fear of having to quit.
I turned myself around here on SR. When I felt afraid I reached out for help here.
Its not easy, but it is possible...and personally I think not drinking is easier than trying to somehow still drink.
D
The problem is that alcoholism is progressive and eventually the fear of not quitting gets worse than the fear of having to quit.
I turned myself around here on SR. When I felt afraid I reached out for help here.
Its not easy, but it is possible...and personally I think not drinking is easier than trying to somehow still drink.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: England
Posts: 674
And quite frankly scared now. I’d quit ct but that’s to dangerous apparently according to all the people I saw at the beginning of the year, I’m trying to wean at the moment, as have no other option where I am
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 1,276
Weaning is such a horrible feeling..I had to wean this time also because if I stopped cold turkey I literally probably would have died...So you are really sick right now 
Do you have supplies for tomorrow so you can stop? Like Watermelon and water and Gatorade? And Ramen Noodles?
During this weaning maybe you can slowly chew some Watermelon a nice burst of COLD healthy flavor and not bad for your stomach....I NEEDED this on my first day sober....
Do you have supplies for tomorrow so you can stop? Like Watermelon and water and Gatorade? And Ramen Noodles?
During this weaning maybe you can slowly chew some Watermelon a nice burst of COLD healthy flavor and not bad for your stomach....I NEEDED this on my first day sober....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: England
Posts: 674
And if anyone is reading this thinks it won’t get that bad, it will! pancreatitis hurts like hell and actually feels like your dying, did it stop me, losing my driving licence, did that stop me, thankfully I still have my girls but at the moment they still live with with me me, but am monitored, it’s not fun. Stop now if you can, I know know one one will take that advice but it just gets worse. I’m waiting on xrays from last week, it’s poison
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
I know its hard to get help in the UK Room. If tapering is your only option try to do it safely while not stringing it out too long.
If they gave you guidelines at the beginning of the year look at those again.
If they gave you guidelines at the beginning of the year look at those again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: England
Posts: 674
I only have a phone and struggling to work out how to reply
Originally Posted by Misssy2 
Weaning is such a horrible feeling..I had to wean this time also because if I stopped cold turkey I literally probably would have died...So you are really sick right now
Do you have supplies for tomorrow so you can stop? Like Watermelon and water and Gatorade? And Ramen Noodles?
During this weaning maybe you can slowly chew some Watermelon a nice burst of COLD healthy flavor and not bad for your stomach....I NEEDED this on my first day sober....
Do you have supplies for tomorrow so you can stop? Like Watermelon and water and Gatorade? And Ramen Noodles?
During this weaning maybe you can slowly chew some Watermelon a nice burst of COLD healthy flavor and not bad for your stomach....I NEEDED this on my first day sober....
Im doing my best to wean doesn’t help it summer holidays for my girls and feel like crap unless I have a one so I don’t throw up :-/
Member
Join Date: Jul 2019
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 51
It can get so much worse Room1. I sense that you are coming to the late, awful, gruesome, yet often prolonged stages of alcoholism. If you are in that neighborhood you only have a short time left before you reach a tipping point. Then it will be several months to a few years of involuntary commitments, liver failure, kidney failure, bleeding ulcers, permanent brain damage, mental decline. Get weaned as rapidly as is safe, get that **** out of your house, and think about your girls seeing all of that happen to you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: England
Posts: 674
I never get rest, 3 out or my 4 girls have disabilities, it’s ok, I’ve been quite pro active today, think I wrote here to just give me strength while I deal with with feeling like crap with this weening shite as I have to pretend I feel fine
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,760
I'm doing alright now. After struggling to stay sober, I finally got sick and tired of always being sick and tired. I was sick of waking up sick, feeling horrible, and hating myself. I was sick of wishing I were dead.
I was a chronic relapser and I'll have 10 yrs sober in December. If I can do it, so can you!
I was a chronic relapser and I'll have 10 yrs sober in December. If I can do it, so can you!
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