Mom is starting to relax...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 519
Mom is starting to relax...
One of the biggest and most meaningful things in my life right now is seeing my Mother.
She is a hard working woman who instilled in us strength, independence (maybe too much) and strong character. She is completely selfless and takes care more of us than herself. She is an incredible woman and I love her very much.
She has never been able to fully relax with our family. My sister went to inpatient years ago and is now sober with a baby, my father is mentally ill with a dependency on sleep medication and sometimes flies off the handle, treats us poorly or disappears, and now me. She has never been able to relax.
Since I have gotten help and am working hard on my sobriety I notice a change in her. She answers the phone in a good mood, tells me how proud she is of me constantly and just has this...more serene look about her. I also feel better around her. In the past, I always felt that guilt of hiding this terrible secret (that was not even a secret as she knew the whole time as mothers do). The lowest point right before giving it up was one night when I was severely depressed and very drunk, holed up in my apt. I had gone radio silent as I would do for a few days and I had gotten to a point of such illness that all I could do was send one text message to my family chat, it said, "I'm really sick. I need help." This text went out at 3am. I am not sure how much time passed but I heard keys in my door and my mother walked in. To her horror, she found bottles on the counter, trash on the floor and me sobbing uncontrollably on the couch. I always did that privately, so she had never seen me like this. She started crying and just came to hold me. She rocked me like a little girl until I fell asleep and that was the point I knew that I couldn't go on like this. I was killing myself and I saw the pain in my mother's eyes.
I have been sober for 18 days now and I am not turning back. Nothing at this moment is giving me an urge to drink. I see my family looking at me differently, I look at me differently.
For that I am so so so grateful.
She is a hard working woman who instilled in us strength, independence (maybe too much) and strong character. She is completely selfless and takes care more of us than herself. She is an incredible woman and I love her very much.
She has never been able to fully relax with our family. My sister went to inpatient years ago and is now sober with a baby, my father is mentally ill with a dependency on sleep medication and sometimes flies off the handle, treats us poorly or disappears, and now me. She has never been able to relax.
Since I have gotten help and am working hard on my sobriety I notice a change in her. She answers the phone in a good mood, tells me how proud she is of me constantly and just has this...more serene look about her. I also feel better around her. In the past, I always felt that guilt of hiding this terrible secret (that was not even a secret as she knew the whole time as mothers do). The lowest point right before giving it up was one night when I was severely depressed and very drunk, holed up in my apt. I had gone radio silent as I would do for a few days and I had gotten to a point of such illness that all I could do was send one text message to my family chat, it said, "I'm really sick. I need help." This text went out at 3am. I am not sure how much time passed but I heard keys in my door and my mother walked in. To her horror, she found bottles on the counter, trash on the floor and me sobbing uncontrollably on the couch. I always did that privately, so she had never seen me like this. She started crying and just came to hold me. She rocked me like a little girl until I fell asleep and that was the point I knew that I couldn't go on like this. I was killing myself and I saw the pain in my mother's eyes.
I have been sober for 18 days now and I am not turning back. Nothing at this moment is giving me an urge to drink. I see my family looking at me differently, I look at me differently.
For that I am so so so grateful.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 689
Dear NicLin - that is such a moving post. I wish you huge luck in your new life of sobriety. I'm also an alcoholic, now heading in the direction of two months of being sober so I can identify with you. But even more so with your mum. She must be so thrilled. Well done.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 1,614
If that isnt motivation enough. I commend you for giving sobriety a try which you are kudos to you. I'm sure your body is a little beat up from the abuse. And things are probably healing. But there is still alot of work to do. Whats cool is the schedule is easy. Just for today is all you have to worry about. You can and are doing this. Super awesome. Keep coming back
Friendly Folk
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Powers Lake, Wisconsin
Posts: 21,718
NicLin,
Your post brought me to tears...of joy for you to have such a wonderful life-changing experience with your Mother. You are making her very happy by taking the steps necessary for sobriety and a better way to live. Seeing your Mom becoming more relaxed is your reward and a gift for her.
I lost my mom less than a year ago. How I wish I could hold her one more time and see her smile at me. Treasure every moment and make her proud.
Your post brought me to tears...of joy for you to have such a wonderful life-changing experience with your Mother. You are making her very happy by taking the steps necessary for sobriety and a better way to live. Seeing your Mom becoming more relaxed is your reward and a gift for her.
I lost my mom less than a year ago. How I wish I could hold her one more time and see her smile at me. Treasure every moment and make her proud.
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