Kind of bored
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 10
Kind of bored
I'm avoiding people places and thinggs..detached from girlfriend.im over 3 months clean and sober..making roughly 3 meetings a week..I have yet to find a sponser..I miss my old crazy buzzed up life...its boring....left rehab 2 months ago ..kind of got a home group. Still exploring different meetings..half of the people I was in rehab relapsed alredy..I dont want to relapse...love waking up hangoverfree..use to love the beach with coolers music and all the ******** ..now I cant go because that is also a trigger and without getting buzzed or drunk also boring..this is a we program I hear ..need advice and or help
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome.
Recovery is tough and one of the toughest parts was saying goodbye to my old life and all the things I did in it. Well, not all the things, just the drinking things. Which meant there was still plenty of things I could do. I suspect the same for you.
Boredom is a state of mind, not a condition of sobriety. Push yourself to get involved with things that don't revolve around alcohol.
And congrats on three months clean and sober!
Recovery is tough and one of the toughest parts was saying goodbye to my old life and all the things I did in it. Well, not all the things, just the drinking things. Which meant there was still plenty of things I could do. I suspect the same for you.
Boredom is a state of mind, not a condition of sobriety. Push yourself to get involved with things that don't revolve around alcohol.
And congrats on three months clean and sober!
Adventurer
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Tuxedo Park, NY
Posts: 1,101
The beach is a beautiful place Villa, give it time and you will be able to appreciate what you have been missing .
I had a list of activities that I didn't want to do early in my recovery due to the connections to drinking. Beach, parties, sports, concerts... ect. After some time i came to realize I never fully was enjoying any of these activities while drinking.
In Fact I used those activities to justify my drinking.
I had a list of activities that I didn't want to do early in my recovery due to the connections to drinking. Beach, parties, sports, concerts... ect. After some time i came to realize I never fully was enjoying any of these activities while drinking.
In Fact I used those activities to justify my drinking.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 517
Its very common to get this in early sobriety. Given time it slowly comes full circle. Eventually you can't believe you used to love the drama and when one of those unavoidable days packed with drama does eventuate, you're going to wish it was over ASAP.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,760
Congrats on three months clean and sober! 
I'd suggest volunteering in your community. It will give you something to do, make new friends, and get out of your own head for a while.
I'd suggest volunteering in your community. It will give you something to do, make new friends, and get out of your own head for a while. Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 467
Three months sober is fantastic.
I just wanted to say that in my periods of sobriety it was the "boredom" that got to me too.
I was around 3 months in last time when I thought drinking again was going to make me less bored - that was 2 years ago.
Another 2 years of drinking to excess and looking and feeling like death.
It makes me sad to think of how different things might be for me now if I had stuck with it.
I'm sure someone much wiser than me will come along soon and give some advice on how to manage this bored feeling.
Someone told me on here once that its OK to be bored.
it helped me x
I just wanted to say that in my periods of sobriety it was the "boredom" that got to me too.
I was around 3 months in last time when I thought drinking again was going to make me less bored - that was 2 years ago.
Another 2 years of drinking to excess and looking and feeling like death.
It makes me sad to think of how different things might be for me now if I had stuck with it.
I'm sure someone much wiser than me will come along soon and give some advice on how to manage this bored feeling.
Someone told me on here once that its OK to be bored.
it helped me x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 10
Originally Posted by sva777 
The beach is a beautiful place Villa, give it time and you will be able to appreciate what you have been missing .
I had a list of activities that I didn't want to do early in my recovery due to the connections to drinking. Beach, parties, sports, concerts... ect. After some time i came to realize I never fully was enjoying any of these activities while drinking.
.u said didn't fully enjoy activities concert ballgames etc etc.I don't even remember them..gonna do 1.bike ride 2.open a paint set I bought 1month ago 3.go to beach and take a walk then swim 4.hit a big book meeting at 7pm..need to stop feeling sorry for poor me...and enjoy sobriety...we r not a glum lot
In Fact I used those activities to justify my drinking.
I had a list of activities that I didn't want to do early in my recovery due to the connections to drinking. Beach, parties, sports, concerts... ect. After some time i came to realize I never fully was enjoying any of these activities while drinking.
.u said didn't fully enjoy activities concert ballgames etc etc.I don't even remember them..gonna do 1.bike ride 2.open a paint set I bought 1month ago 3.go to beach and take a walk then swim 4.hit a big book meeting at 7pm..need to stop feeling sorry for poor me...and enjoy sobriety...we r not a glum lot
In Fact I used those activities to justify my drinking.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 1,614
Congrats on three months hey wait a minute I have 91 days myself today😃 the boredom thing is what you make of it feel me. I can keep myself active doing something and make the best of it. Like I cooked on the grill. Thats the easy part. You still have to go to the store and what not. Now 90 days ago if I wasnt getting booze then the store thing would be get in get out .why? So I can booze pretty sad huh how it dictates your moves. Now I can go to store and browse. Eat samples...(fun) and take my time. I dont know . I'm still learning on a daily basis. Thats it. And with that I'll keep coming back.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 1,276
Recovery is much tougher when you are young and these are the things young people do..go to the beach or the bars and get buzzed...Very hard..
However, you don't love the consequences of being bombed.
I think if you can rewire your mind (not to think that YOU are missing out) because you are NOT missing OUT ...they ARE.....They are waking up fogged up..and they are potentially a step or a sip away from a car wreck or a DUI.
Some may even be on their way to their demise....and you are not.....
Maybe you don't go to the beach everytime they go...and when you do go maybe you be proud of the fact that you are the designated driver or the one surfing the waves while their butts are planted in the sand getting wasted and not even really enjoying the environment for what it IS.
Maybe you start going to a gym...or taking Karate....
Or you go to the beach and when the craving starts..you leave...until you can someday be at the beach...and not crave a drink...You will NOT ALWAYS crave a drink if you stay away from it long enough.
You are not the "weird" one here...you are the one that had insight to what you were doing to yourself...some of them aren't ready to see that yet....But I'm sure there are SOME of your FRIENDS that envy that you don't drink anymore....I pretty much know that for a fact....because when I quit I was younger and I had some of my friends tell me they envied me.
You have to want to stay sober more than you want to get drunk and as long as you do ….you will be ok.
However, you don't love the consequences of being bombed.
I think if you can rewire your mind (not to think that YOU are missing out) because you are NOT missing OUT ...they ARE.....They are waking up fogged up..and they are potentially a step or a sip away from a car wreck or a DUI.
Some may even be on their way to their demise....and you are not.....
Maybe you don't go to the beach everytime they go...and when you do go maybe you be proud of the fact that you are the designated driver or the one surfing the waves while their butts are planted in the sand getting wasted and not even really enjoying the environment for what it IS.
Maybe you start going to a gym...or taking Karate....
Or you go to the beach and when the craving starts..you leave...until you can someday be at the beach...and not crave a drink...You will NOT ALWAYS crave a drink if you stay away from it long enough.
You are not the "weird" one here...you are the one that had insight to what you were doing to yourself...some of them aren't ready to see that yet....But I'm sure there are SOME of your FRIENDS that envy that you don't drink anymore....I pretty much know that for a fact....because when I quit I was younger and I had some of my friends tell me they envied me.
You have to want to stay sober more than you want to get drunk and as long as you do ….you will be ok.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 10
Originally Posted by Dee74
Welcome aboard Villa
sounds like you're in a great part of the world - I'm sure there are things to do that don't require alcohol - got any hobbies or interests?
D
sounds like you're in a great part of the world - I'm sure there are things to do that don't require alcohol - got any hobbies or interests?
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 10
Originally Posted by Misssy2
Recovery is much tougher when you are young and these are the things young people do..go to the beach or the bars and get buzzed...Very hard..
However, you don't love the consequences of being bombed.
I think if you can rewire your mind (not to think that YOU are missing out) because you are NOT missing OUT ...they ARE.....They are waking up fogged up..and they are potentially a step or a sip away from a car wreck or a DUI.
Some may even be on their way to their demise....and you are not.....
Maybe you don't go to the beach everytime they go...and when you do go maybe you be proud of the fact that you are the designated driver or the one surfing the waves while their butts are planted in the sand getting wasted and not even really enjoying the environment for what it IS.
Maybe you start going to a gym...or taking Karate....
Or you go to the beach and when the craving starts..you leave...until you can someday be at the beach...and not crave a drink...You will NOT ALWAYS crave a drink if you stay away from it long enough.
You are not the "weird" one here...you are the one that had insight to what you were doing to yourself...some of them aren't ready to see that yet....But I'm sure there are SOME of your FRIENDS that envy that you don't drink anymore....I pretty much know that for a fact....because when I quit I was younger and I had some of my friends tell me they envied me.
You have to want to stay sober more than you want to get drunk and as long as you do ….you will be ok.
However, you don't love the consequences of being bombed.
I think if you can rewire your mind (not to think that YOU are missing out) because you are NOT missing OUT ...they ARE.....They are waking up fogged up..and they are potentially a step or a sip away from a car wreck or a DUI.
Some may even be on their way to their demise....and you are not.....
Maybe you don't go to the beach everytime they go...and when you do go maybe you be proud of the fact that you are the designated driver or the one surfing the waves while their butts are planted in the sand getting wasted and not even really enjoying the environment for what it IS.
Maybe you start going to a gym...or taking Karate....
Or you go to the beach and when the craving starts..you leave...until you can someday be at the beach...and not crave a drink...You will NOT ALWAYS crave a drink if you stay away from it long enough.
You are not the "weird" one here...you are the one that had insight to what you were doing to yourself...some of them aren't ready to see that yet....But I'm sure there are SOME of your FRIENDS that envy that you don't drink anymore....I pretty much know that for a fact....because when I quit I was younger and I had some of my friends tell me they envied me.
You have to want to stay sober more than you want to get drunk and as long as you do ….you will be ok.
some of my friends do envy me being sober.some I think are jealous and are trying to sabotage me
and also I do want to stay sober more than I want to get drunk...thanks missy2 for the reply..
this sr.site is awesome it helps alot
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 10
Originally Posted by SoberRican
Congrats on three months hey wait a minute I have 91 days myself today😃 the boredom thing is what you make of it feel me. I can keep myself active doing something and make the best of it. Like I cooked on the grill. Thats the easy part. You still have to go to the store and what not. Now 90 days ago if I wasnt getting booze then the store thing would be get in get out .why? So I can booze pretty sad huh how it dictates your moves. Now I can go to store and browse. Eat samples...(fun) and take my time. I dont know . I'm still learning on a daily basis. Thats it. And with that I'll keep coming back.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
three months is still really early on your sobriety journey.
you aren't likely to figure it all out in the next couple of weeks.
you aren't likely to figure out HOW to do the season of summer sober, having tons of fun and not running into tricky bits that threaten that sobriety.
you can see it as laying the foundation for the many seasons to come.
a lot of the first year of sobriety is learning HOW to be a now sober person thru the holidays, vacations, work days, the rainy season, and all those former reasons/excuses to drink.
it won't be the fair and a rock concert with back stage passes AND carnival rides. sometimes it might seem like drudgery.
but i'm sure the guy training for his first marathon doesn't find getting out of bed at 4am to get in a training run the BEST.DAY.EVER. or the blisters breaking in those new shoes. or the perpetually sore left knee. or the sweat. or that hill. but he does it anyways. cuz his eye is a bit further down the road, on the goal, not the grind and gruel.
eye on the prize my friend. sober today, sober tomorrow, sober next year.....love that you were painting a sunrise. now there's some metaphor!!!!
you aren't likely to figure it all out in the next couple of weeks.
you aren't likely to figure out HOW to do the season of summer sober, having tons of fun and not running into tricky bits that threaten that sobriety.
you can see it as laying the foundation for the many seasons to come.
a lot of the first year of sobriety is learning HOW to be a now sober person thru the holidays, vacations, work days, the rainy season, and all those former reasons/excuses to drink.
it won't be the fair and a rock concert with back stage passes AND carnival rides. sometimes it might seem like drudgery.
but i'm sure the guy training for his first marathon doesn't find getting out of bed at 4am to get in a training run the BEST.DAY.EVER. or the blisters breaking in those new shoes. or the perpetually sore left knee. or the sweat. or that hill. but he does it anyways. cuz his eye is a bit further down the road, on the goal, not the grind and gruel.
eye on the prize my friend. sober today, sober tomorrow, sober next year.....love that you were painting a sunrise. now there's some metaphor!!!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: Battle Born
Posts: 24
Since you like the beach - how about going back there to run, walk or just beach comb?
It's great to just watch and listen to the waves, submerge your feet in the surf and feel the wind. Probably something you need to learn how to enjoy without being buzzed, but worth the effort!
I don't think you'll find anybody here who deems physical activity to be detrimental to sobriety and the beach seems like a great place for you.
You may think that it will trigger you but no way to know but try it out. It may surprise you.
It's great to just watch and listen to the waves, submerge your feet in the surf and feel the wind. Probably something you need to learn how to enjoy without being buzzed, but worth the effort!
I don't think you'll find anybody here who deems physical activity to be detrimental to sobriety and the beach seems like a great place for you.
You may think that it will trigger you but no way to know but try it out. It may surprise you.
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