nightshade131

I f*d bad.
I drank to sleep, and lost time... woke up and thought I was late for work, f*, it's still the same day
I want to sleep again and dream it never happened

Anna

I'm sorry you're feeling badly, Nightshade. It's probably a good idea to get rid of the alcohol and start to detox.

Misssy2

I know this feeling....**** isn't even a strong enough word.
Start again when you are ready....I hope to be here too.

Callas

Well, on the slightly brighter side...it’s better than being late for work.

SoberRican

Sorry you feeling bad. Want to get better starting now....number one culprit is the booze got to leave it alone try to at least even if its by the hour. Hours turn to days feel me. Its a process no doubt. But it is doable. Keep coming back

Hevyn

Time to get free of it, nightshade. It's only bringing you misery.

Lucinda2

Sorry, you are feeling rubbish Nightshade. Being the owner of many day zero's I know how yucky it feels. Definitely, it feels better without alcohol. Look forward to seeing you back on the Sober Bus.

Dee74

Welcome back Nightshade

My hitting bottom moment was the moment I realised I couldn't live my life like that anymore - not another minute.

This can be the last time you ever have to feel like this.

D

nightshade131

thank you everyone for you support.
I still feel like horrible but the good thing is I don't have any booze at home.
It's almost 6am, and it will a new start

WhySober

Don't be too hard on yourself. Its ok. As long as you are breathing you have a chance at a better life.

nightshade131

It's the shame that I feel... not to mention that 'wobbly' feeling of the night after

least

"Guilt" is knowing you've done something wrong. "Shame" is feeling like the worst person on earth because you've done something wrong. Guilt can be productive, shame, not so much. Let your remorse motivate you to get sober for good, but don't let the shame eat you alive.

instant

I wonder if anyone’s ‘day zero’ was a good day. I remember it being a miserable, sad lonely place in addition to feeling like ####

ShiftHappens

Me too. Miserable and exhausted.

You are not alone.

Sending prayers to you

nightshade131

I have to go out later and do the food shop, but when I get back I am going to start a journal of how I feel today, so I won't forget the depths I can go

Thank you to all x

Midwest1981

that is a great idea Nightshade. I hope you feel better soon.

WinterCamper

For sure write it all down Nightshade. Make a list of the things that improve with sobriety and things that you never have to put yourself through again and keep adding to it. Mine is close to 50 items and includes dread of death, so many more hours in the day, dread of night, sweating, organ pain, drunk texting horror, fitness, work, mornings, suicidal thoughts, eyes, skin, nutrition, digestive health.

Make your list NS.

nightshade131

Thanks WinterCamper - that's a good place to start! What's NS though?

biminiblue

I'm guessing it's the abbreviation for nightshade131 = NS

It's sort of a forum quirk, we tend to shorten usernames.

nightshade131

Ahhh, that makes sense