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A breif encounter with a craving!

Old 08-01-2019, 07:44 PM
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A breif encounter with a craving!

Yikes!
Cunning, Baffling and Powerful...

I was not a big AA "thumper" ever..and still I am not....but looking back on my sobriety that I have had...8 years...most of that time was spent going to AA because I didn't know what ELSE to do...

For me personally going to a meeting means I will not be drinking and I will have a very good chance of having zero cravings to drink...and I would feel better AFTER the meeting...

Some people say meetings make them drink...that was never me....

Meetings always..and I mean always made me feel better.

Whether it was because I was making fun of people (in my head) and their AA lingo..or being disgusted by some pushing God on everyone...I was still in a room where I could be ME and it was OK.

And most of the time if I was paying attention to the speakers I left with "something I needed to hear"..Something that kept me going with my sobriety.

I am extremely judgmental and shut down and a loner...and there are rooms and rooms of people in AA that just by nature make you feel "at home" and loved no matter HOW YOU ACT...as long as you show up...you will be loved by some/most.

You don't even have to show up sober...I have seen that scene many times...I figure why bother...If I was drunk..the last place I would be would be in a meeting...LOL.

I realized today when a thought of a drink came briefly to mind...because the weather has cooled here...there was a nice breeze...I just wanted to amplify the calm and happy feelings I felt...

Logic says..alcohol would NOT amplify my good feelings but only make me feel worse...but the thought of a drink snuck in anyway. And that FRIGHTENED me.

I don't know how people stay sober without AA.....I don't think I CAN.

MY "self will runs riot"....I think I can do everything on my own.

This BEAST is a little too much for me...I need to be reminded pretty often I can't do this alone. And AA is just that...a reminder for me.

SR may be the sole thing that works for some people but because I KNOW the human touch and interaction was a huge part of what kept me sober....*even when I didn't want these things.

I need to return to what works....

I have decided that I am NOW holding myself accountable to go to a meeting SATURDAY....Because my life is important...and if I drink I could literally die this time...…

I have been feeling really good for about 40 days...and all of a sudden WHAM! A craving...I am going to fight back with AA
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Old 08-01-2019, 08:08 PM
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Its really good when you work out what works for you Missy
H ope the meeting helps

D
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Old 08-01-2019, 08:20 PM
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Whatever works for you - keep on doing it!
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Old 08-01-2019, 08:28 PM
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I agree with both Dee and least..find what works and if it works for you do it.

One reason I posted this post was because if there is ONE person who has never tried AA and they are struggling with cravings to drink....I just suggest that you try a meeting...see how you feel afterwards....it saved my life in 2005.

And it will save my life again....I don't really WANT to GO....I have never really WANTED to go....But sometimes just like I don't want to take medicine....it helps...its like a medicine...and you don't know until you try it with an open mind and a desperate desire to stay sober.

Desperation brought me to AA...I had no where else to turn...
I have more places to turn now...but AA really does work....all I do is show up.
Claim my seat..and there is a really good chance I won't drink or have cravings.
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Old 08-01-2019, 08:30 PM
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If AA helped the last time, I’d do it again, and keep doing it! A close relative had 30 years of sobriety when he died from cancer. He never stopped practicing his sobriety. AA was his main tool and he was a sponsor to so many. I believe that most people who achieve long term sobriety owe this to ongoing practice, whatever that means for them individually. Relapses happen even after years of sobriety when we become complacent. I came close to a relapse a year ago and I came back to SR. SR has been a huge support for me in staying connected to the recovery community and staying sober. I had a fleeting craving yesterday and it passed quickly. It’s not too often I have them these days, but I don’t expect that they will ever go away completely.
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Old 08-01-2019, 08:32 PM
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That’s really good advice, Missy
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Old 08-01-2019, 09:14 PM
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It’s very mature of you to see the benefit of AA and use it even if you don’t like some of the stuff. Well done.
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Old 08-02-2019, 02:02 AM
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misssy, I am doing 90 meetings in 90 days and the amount of love, support and real friendships I am making has blown my mind.

I have more to do now staying sober than I ever did drinking and I am inspired at every meeting. Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I cry and every time I get home so happy to have been lucky enough to walk in to my first meeting.

Yes, it is scary to go in the first time, but people can sense this and are truly there for you. They want to see their own succeed.

I love it and have no plans to quit doing them, to do that is to lose who I am coming to love...ME!

Night and congrats on not succumbing to the temptation.
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Old 08-02-2019, 04:37 AM
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Originally Posted by Fearlessat50 View Post
That’s really good advice, Missy
Thank you Fearless and about becoming complacent that is what happens with this condition WITH ME...Its happened over and over.

I told the man who gave me a ride to rehab in 2005 I would do ANYTHING they said in rehab to get better EXCEPT go to AA.

That's how against AA I was...But the DRs there convinced me with their presentations that AA has the highest success rate for SOME REASON. These were topTOP Drs in the field I couldn't blatantly disregard their advice....So I had to go...I had nothing left to try.
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Old 08-02-2019, 04:39 AM
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Originally Posted by NicLin View Post
misssy, I am doing 90 meetings in 90 days and the amount of love, support and real friendships I am making has blown my mind.

I have more to do now staying sober than I ever did drinking and I am inspired at every meeting. Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I cry and every time I get home so happy to have been lucky enough to walk in to my first meeting.

Yes, it is scary to go in the first time, but people can sense this and are truly there for you. They want to see their own succeed.

I love it and have no plans to quit doing them, to do that is to lose who I am coming to love...ME!

Night and congrats on not succumbing to the temptation.

So happy for YOU.....Some people in AA are JERKS.

But if you think about it....SOME people EVERYWHERE are jerks.

I believe you are in the best place going to AA...you even sound happy! And I am in the best place ALSO when I go there .
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Old 08-02-2019, 04:41 AM
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Originally Posted by Callas View Post
It’s very mature of you to see the benefit of AA and use it even if you don’t like some of the stuff. Well done.
LOL..I know..its very "mature" of me...

I can't even believe IT when I walk in the door of an AA meeting...

I can't tell you how many years I was against the concept because of the "preachers" there.

I am stubborn and I walk in with an attitude at first all the time..like "don't talk to me"

I open up when ready...and they are always there to receive me.
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Old 08-02-2019, 10:10 AM
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I dont mind the meetings as well. But the route I am using now is working for me. And what I do is share here. Then when not I listen to audio on you tube AA recovery speakers. I feel like I am there I don't know its cool . different strokes for different folks. I have 90 days so far. Keep coming back. Oh and I have read the blue book. Numerous times with a bunch of highlighted pages
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Old 08-02-2019, 11:10 AM
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Originally Posted by SoberRican View Post
I dont mind the meetings as well. But the route I am using now is working for me. And what I do is share here. Then when not I listen to audio on you tube AA recovery speakers. I feel like I am there I don't know its cool . different strokes for different folks. I have 90 days so far. Keep coming back. Oh and I have read the blue book. Numerous times with a bunch of highlighted pages
Yea I went to the Big Book Step Study years ago and have a blue book completely highlighted with notes...that I CANT FIND...
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Old 08-02-2019, 12:18 PM
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Missy, I can relate to that cold chill that you get when a minor craving or thought of alcohol crosses your mind. Like the minor craving, I experience only a minor chill, but it's still minimally and momentarily disturbing. After 25 years, it has lessened and I'd be hard pressed to say that it upsets me, but it is an ominous reminder of who I am. I don't think that goes away. We carry many memories. One of them might be memory of a situation where we enjoyed a pleasant moment or two with alcohol, and it's normal for these to surface from time to time. I'm not sure I want them to go away completely, but that's irrelevant because I don't think I can wash my past away from me, anyway. It's always going to be there. But I do seem to be quite able to choose not to drink. And that's a power that I do control.

Just as these cravings appear, it's more important to maintain the mindset of not reaching for a drink when they come along, as well as not reacting to major challenges in our life by drinking. My usual reaction to these unexpected visitations from my past is to pass them off with a chuckle. God forbid this should ever become a serious challenge. I wouldn't like that at all, but I'm content to just laugh them off. And I think that every time I do, I'm just a wee bit farther along in recovery. And that part of the reaction always gives me a confidence boost.

At this stage in your shoes, I'd utilize AA as long as it helps. No program is perfect, but they don't need to be. Eventually, you can let go, but early on, I'd be careful about ditching something that seems to help.
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Old 08-03-2019, 02:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Misssy2 View Post
Yikes!
Cunning, Baffling and Powerful...

I was not a big AA "thumper" ever..and still I am not....but looking back on my sobriety that I have had...8 years...most of that time was spent going to AA because I didn't know what ELSE to do...

For me personally going to a meeting means I will not be drinking and I will have a very good chance of having zero cravings to drink...and I would feel better AFTER the meeting...

Some people say meetings make them drink...that was never me....

Meetings always..and I mean always made me feel better.

Whether it was because I was making fun of people (in my head) and their AA lingo..or being disgusted by some pushing God on everyone...I was still in a room where I could be ME and it was OK.

And most of the time if I was paying attention to the speakers I left with "something I needed to hear"..Something that kept me going with my sobriety.

I am extremely judgmental and shut down and a loner...and there are rooms and rooms of people in AA that just by nature make you feel "at home" and loved no matter HOW YOU ACT...as long as you show up...you will be loved by some/most.

You don't even have to show up sober...I have seen that scene many times...I figure why bother...If I was drunk..the last place I would be would be in a meeting...LOL.

I realized today when a thought of a drink came briefly to mind...because the weather has cooled here...there was a nice breeze...I just wanted to amplify the calm and happy feelings I felt...

Logic says..alcohol would NOT amplify my good feelings but only make me feel worse...but the thought of a drink snuck in anyway. And that FRIGHTENED me.

I don't know how people stay sober without AA.....I don't think I CAN.

MY "self will runs riot"....I think I can do everything on my own.

This BEAST is a little too much for me...I need to be reminded pretty often I can't do this alone. And AA is just that...a reminder for me.

SR may be the sole thing that works for some people but because I KNOW the human touch and interaction was a huge part of what kept me sober....*even when I didn't want these things.

I need to return to what works....

I have decided that I am NOW holding myself accountable to go to a meeting SATURDAY....Because my life is important...and if I drink I could literally die this time...…

I have been feeling really good for about 40 days...and all of a sudden WHAM! A craving...I am going to fight back with AA
Thanks for sharing this.

I have had a few cravings over the years, although I can't remember my last one.

I particularly like your recitation of the importance of the AA program in your life.

Even after a pretty good while in recovery, I still look to God and AA, in that order, for help each day, and they have never failed me.
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