Life, alcohol, alcoholism and sobriety.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Life, alcohol, alcoholism and sobriety.
Long post, read at your leisure. As I sit here in my home office I have my phone in front of me and every 20-30 minutes I get a text message from my alcoholic BIL insisting that I "PICK UP!!!" (its around 9AM his time when this stupidity has started.) This man is 50 years old and at one point had bridged the gap to adulthood, but has slid back to immaturity as his alcoholism has progressed. Makes me sad and angry at the same time.
Regarding myself, I am coming up on 4 years in October since I started my journey. It has not been easy, but dare I say it has not been nearly as rough as if I had been actively drinking. Drinking complicated everything in my life. In sobriety I have had some failures. I am a licensed real estate agent and have done little (fail). I have had to go minimal contact with my family to save my sanity (not a fail but its been depressing at times), yet I still love my father to death and its hard not talking to him. I also have been put in touch with my real emotions which has meant I have had to grab some tissues to wipe away the tears from time to time. But it has also meant that I have a good hearty laugh when I should have a good laugh.
That being said, I feel "normal" for whatever that means. I am present in life and not drunk, drinking or recovering. I am just me....living life. Ready to go at the drop of a hat. Its good.
I started a job last week that is top shelf, I guess I got lucky and maybe that inspired me to write this. But at the end of the day I want all newcomers and to those struggling to see that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Keep trying, keep fighting.
Lastly, I struggled with boredom for almost a year because I could not fill the void of my drinking time. That will/should go away and when it does, it opens up many doors. This may sound deep and heavy but try to remain engaged in life and in the world. Its quite nice. (done preaching). Have a great weekend everyone.
Regarding myself, I am coming up on 4 years in October since I started my journey. It has not been easy, but dare I say it has not been nearly as rough as if I had been actively drinking. Drinking complicated everything in my life. In sobriety I have had some failures. I am a licensed real estate agent and have done little (fail). I have had to go minimal contact with my family to save my sanity (not a fail but its been depressing at times), yet I still love my father to death and its hard not talking to him. I also have been put in touch with my real emotions which has meant I have had to grab some tissues to wipe away the tears from time to time. But it has also meant that I have a good hearty laugh when I should have a good laugh.
That being said, I feel "normal" for whatever that means. I am present in life and not drunk, drinking or recovering. I am just me....living life. Ready to go at the drop of a hat. Its good.
I started a job last week that is top shelf, I guess I got lucky and maybe that inspired me to write this. But at the end of the day I want all newcomers and to those struggling to see that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Keep trying, keep fighting.
Lastly, I struggled with boredom for almost a year because I could not fill the void of my drinking time. That will/should go away and when it does, it opens up many doors. This may sound deep and heavy but try to remain engaged in life and in the world. Its quite nice. (done preaching). Have a great weekend everyone.
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Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 1,121
Love this post thomas. Thanks so much. "Ready to go at the drop of a hat." I like that. When we were drinking, that was so far from the truth. Stuck inside our self-made cage was more like it. Congrats on the new job!
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,203
Interesting and uplifting post Jeff.
Congratulations on nearly 4 years of sobriety and well done to on landing that job. There's a good message within your post in as much as it hasn't happened overnight but in time sobriety is allowing you to fulfil your obvious potential which I find encouraging.
It's a shame about yor BiL, on a general level it must be frustrating when you have found that thing inside of you that has enabled you to get and stay sober but a close friend or relative hasn't. Frustrating because you know it doesn't have to be that way. All I would say is just keep trying to encourage him to do the right thing. At 50 I was well aware I was in trouble but I still had another 4 years of drinking ahead of me. Some of us are slower learners than others.
Congratulations on nearly 4 years of sobriety and well done to on landing that job. There's a good message within your post in as much as it hasn't happened overnight but in time sobriety is allowing you to fulfil your obvious potential which I find encouraging.
It's a shame about yor BiL, on a general level it must be frustrating when you have found that thing inside of you that has enabled you to get and stay sober but a close friend or relative hasn't. Frustrating because you know it doesn't have to be that way. All I would say is just keep trying to encourage him to do the right thing. At 50 I was well aware I was in trouble but I still had another 4 years of drinking ahead of me. Some of us are slower learners than others.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
4 years! What? Where does the time go? Awesome job Jeff
Congrats on the job. I need one of those now....ugh. Scared.
My family makes me nuts. And after we move my folks to their retirement home I'm done with most of em. But not the folks. Even tho arguably they were suck parents, I love them. Sometimes I'm not sure why. But that's love huh? This is one of the hardest periods in my life I think, there's been so many. But I'm sober.
You are an inspiration. And frankly I love all your gansta stories. I have these visions of like Donny Brasco or something. With a body building thing.... It is all very 'dangerous'. But you are so not a stereo type. Just one cool guy.
Now for another sober day. And not killing my family. Yeah.
Congrats on the job. I need one of those now....ugh. Scared.
My family makes me nuts. And after we move my folks to their retirement home I'm done with most of em. But not the folks. Even tho arguably they were suck parents, I love them. Sometimes I'm not sure why. But that's love huh? This is one of the hardest periods in my life I think, there's been so many. But I'm sober.
You are an inspiration. And frankly I love all your gansta stories. I have these visions of like Donny Brasco or something. With a body building thing.... It is all very 'dangerous'. But you are so not a stereo type. Just one cool guy.
Now for another sober day. And not killing my family. Yeah.
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
If that post is preaching Jeff, please continue to preach away! I found it an extremely inspirational post, as a recent relapser. It was my first relapse, after two and a half years sober for the first time in decades. I intend to make it my last relapse.
Congratulations on your new job, it sounds well deserved.
Congratulations on your new job, it sounds well deserved.
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Join Date: Jul 2019
Location: North Carolina, USA
Posts: 21
Thanks for sharing - congrats on the coming up on 4 years and the new job (and future opportunities)! New jobs are always both scary and exciting at the same time.. well for me for some reason.
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