570 days sober and need some reminders of why I need to do this
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 2
570 days sober and need some reminders of why I need to do this
im not sure why but I also kinda know why I知 second thinking this no drinking thing. The last week has been an emotional turmoil rollercoaster for me and I have been craving that feeling a glass of wine can give. I知 sure that I could just have one at the moment, but I also know from so many peoples experiences as well as my own that old habits never die with this, and eventually it値l bite me again.
Ive been fighting it and crying over it for a couple days and I知 so sad that this is cropping up so justifiably and I have to fight it so hard, even after so long.
Im not an AA goer-just never fit my style, but it has helped me immensely to come into forums and post and get responses of encouragement and help/support.
It痴 funny that no amount of time has seemed to be long enough to be over the desire.
Ive been fighting it and crying over it for a couple days and I知 so sad that this is cropping up so justifiably and I have to fight it so hard, even after so long.
Im not an AA goer-just never fit my style, but it has helped me immensely to come into forums and post and get responses of encouragement and help/support.
It痴 funny that no amount of time has seemed to be long enough to be over the desire.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 5,453
Having a drink would just be a temporary bandage for the emotional pain you went through this week. It wouldn稚 help at all and would most likely cause you a lot more pain in the long run and that would just start the cycle again,
Just make sure to play the tape forward. Remember how hard it was to quit. You have no doubt came along way.
Just make sure to play the tape forward. Remember how hard it was to quit. You have no doubt came along way.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,760
What I did, to bolster my sobriety, was to practice gratitude every day. It made me happier too. 
https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/o...pier.html?_r=0
I lost the desire to drink at about a year sober. Now, after over 9 yrs, I rarely think about it, except maybe to think, I'm glad I don't drink anymore.
Congrats on your sober time.
I hope you don't throw it away.
https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/o...pier.html?_r=0
I lost the desire to drink at about a year sober. Now, after over 9 yrs, I rarely think about it, except maybe to think, I'm glad I don't drink anymore.
Congrats on your sober time.
I hope you don't throw it away.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 1,065
I am not an AA person either. I do prefer more cognitive style therapy. For me, it became change everything, quitting drinking was not enough, why, what triggers, what better coping mechanisms can I have.
I no longer have to drink, it tastes awful, dehydrates me, calories... When I get stressed, what can I do. Breathing exercises, exercise, zone out on a game on my phone, drink a diet Pepsi, club soda, go for a walk. Imagine situations, how do I say no, what do I do instead. Example, we are baling hay, end of the day, everybody grabs a beer, I grab a popsicle with the kids. We had company for a week, what do I do, well they are adults, if they want a drink, liquor store is a short drive away, have at it! Vacation and the flight is free booze, three months after I quit, well it was vacation, so I ate a ton of cookies and drank coffee.
Not drinking is just physical sobriety, establishing healthy coping strategies is recovery and emotional sobriety. It doesn't matter the way or plan, they all have value as plans, I prefer a little from all myself. We have to have plans and follow them.
I no longer have to drink, it tastes awful, dehydrates me, calories... When I get stressed, what can I do. Breathing exercises, exercise, zone out on a game on my phone, drink a diet Pepsi, club soda, go for a walk. Imagine situations, how do I say no, what do I do instead. Example, we are baling hay, end of the day, everybody grabs a beer, I grab a popsicle with the kids. We had company for a week, what do I do, well they are adults, if they want a drink, liquor store is a short drive away, have at it! Vacation and the flight is free booze,
three months after I quit, well it was vacation, so I ate a ton of cookies and drank coffee. Not drinking is just physical sobriety, establishing healthy coping strategies is recovery and emotional sobriety. It doesn't matter the way or plan, they all have value as plans, I prefer a little from all myself. We have to have plans and follow them.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 1,276
You went 570 days without alcohol and I would hope you didn't crave it every single day..
Here is a reminder: I had 8 years sober...I thought I could have a few beers....I did...and then 3 days later...I thought I would have a few beers cause I was feeling fine...and then so on and so on....and it took me 6 YEARS of being in hospitals...almost dead from alcohol..
To have the real fear again to stop...I almost died at least 6x or more....in the last 6 years..one of them being a month ago....
You would think logically that after so LONG you could manage a glass of wine and then just go back on the wagon....It really doesn't work that way.
If you were a bad drunk before ..shortly after taking that first drink you will be a bad drunk again that is a guarantee...but there is no guarantee that you will be able to get sober again....You could die like I ALMOST did many times...before your able to get sober again.
I hope you believe me..because if you drink you are going to find out the hard way...no ONE....that is an alcoholic can drink "safely".
Keep your 570 days...and Congratulations to you for that!
Here is a reminder: I had 8 years sober...I thought I could have a few beers....I did...and then 3 days later...I thought I would have a few beers cause I was feeling fine...and then so on and so on....and it took me 6 YEARS of being in hospitals...almost dead from alcohol..
To have the real fear again to stop...I almost died at least 6x or more....in the last 6 years..one of them being a month ago....
You would think logically that after so LONG you could manage a glass of wine and then just go back on the wagon....It really doesn't work that way.
If you were a bad drunk before ..shortly after taking that first drink you will be a bad drunk again that is a guarantee...but there is no guarantee that you will be able to get sober again....You could die like I ALMOST did many times...before your able to get sober again.
I hope you believe me..because if you drink you are going to find out the hard way...no ONE....that is an alcoholic can drink "safely".
Keep your 570 days...and Congratulations to you for that!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 1,614
Wow 570 is amazing herw I am at 81. Still green. But for me like I have stayed in other post is that I have no more relapses in me. I got tired of the rat race and booze dictating my life . said a simple desperate prayer and wala it happened. So I plan on riding this one all the way. Cause I like it . Keep coming back
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
I'm over 4 and a half years sober. I still have days when my stupid brain tells me a drink might be a good idea. I fully expect this to continue for the rest of my life. But every time I tell that voice no, I feel stronger. I just remind myself that drinking very rarely if ever did me any favors. I also read here, peoples' stories about thinking they could handle it after a period of sobriety, and what usually happened to them. I have no illusions that I would be any different if I decided to drink again.
You have 570 days. There's no reason at all you can't keep that going for the rest of your life. I understand the emotional turmoil. I've had a lot of it since I got sober. But I look back on the turmoil my life was before I quit, and it's far far worse than anything I have experienced since, mostly because alcohol MADE it all worse.
You have 570 days. There's no reason at all you can't keep that going for the rest of your life. I understand the emotional turmoil. I've had a lot of it since I got sober. But I look back on the turmoil my life was before I quit, and it's far far worse than anything I have experienced since, mostly because alcohol MADE it all worse.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
570 days is.amazing.
I'm a bit ahead of you and can just suggest that along the way, I've added things or adjusted my program. I am an AA person - but having more things than just that foundation keep me emotionally sober, which is my focus. Examples range from changing times of day I do things (like an AA meeting, or even what time I wake up) or adding an activity (yoga was a passion til an injury- desperately hoping I can get back to it...) or reading some type of recovery/memoir/inspiring stuff (so much out there...). You get the idea.
Right now I am probably at the most emotionally challenging part of my sobriety and while I've seen a psych all 3.5 yrs- I am adding a therapist to see weekly (my pysch is an every 3 mo thing now and mostly med check). I've learned a lot about how to acknowledge different support I need and get it.
Glad you are here - I know people will have a lot of experience to chime in with about how they navigate the ups and downs of our sober lives. Keep going!!
I'm a bit ahead of you and can just suggest that along the way, I've added things or adjusted my program. I am an AA person - but having more things than just that foundation keep me emotionally sober, which is my focus. Examples range from changing times of day I do things (like an AA meeting, or even what time I wake up) or adding an activity (yoga was a passion til an injury- desperately hoping I can get back to it...) or reading some type of recovery/memoir/inspiring stuff (so much out there...). You get the idea.
Right now I am probably at the most emotionally challenging part of my sobriety and while I've seen a psych all 3.5 yrs- I am adding a therapist to see weekly (my pysch is an every 3 mo thing now and mostly med check). I've learned a lot about how to acknowledge different support I need and get it.
Glad you are here - I know people will have a lot of experience to chime in with about how they navigate the ups and downs of our sober lives. Keep going!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,164
I'm pretty sure that an attempt to start drinking again would put you in a place worse than you were before. For me, if I was promised that it would be only half as bad as it was before, I wouldn't do it. I can't advise you what to do. I just know what I would do. To even consider it as you are right now would create a fear reaction in me. Thank God for fear.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
I sure hope that you don't drink again.
I think that Missy2 gave you a good example of what usually occurs when someone does drink again, if, indeed, they ever even get sober again.
A lot of people don't get sober again.
A relapse is not a good idea.
Who wants the pain that it would inevitably bring with the temporary feeling of euphoria?
I sure don't.
I'm an AA member and have been for quite a while now.
I work the steps on a daily basis, I go to meetings and I socialize with friends in recovery.
As a result, I have a great source of support when I experience "stinking thinking".
Please do not orchestrate your own relapse.
It would be a complete disaster.
I think that Missy2 gave you a good example of what usually occurs when someone does drink again, if, indeed, they ever even get sober again.
A lot of people don't get sober again.
A relapse is not a good idea.
Who wants the pain that it would inevitably bring with the temporary feeling of euphoria?
I sure don't.
I'm an AA member and have been for quite a while now.
I work the steps on a daily basis, I go to meetings and I socialize with friends in recovery.
As a result, I have a great source of support when I experience "stinking thinking".
Please do not orchestrate your own relapse.
It would be a complete disaster.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 245
Well, first of all just remember that the "buzz" that we crave is an illusion. We go from Sober to Brain Dead drunk. So this middle-point tipsy all happiness does not exist.
I am sure you're reading a bunch of these comments that might **** you off and it's not what you want to hear (not that they are not true).
But the hungover, the pain, the self loathe, the depression, it's sooo time and energy-consuming. And let's not lie to ourselves, you know you'll need to hop into the wagon again, it's not like "we're cured".
My point being is that, regardless of its worth or not, climbing the ladder again and going through allll of that is so energy-consuming, hard and boring... that why even bother taking just a drink.
P.S: I did the stupid thing of taking that drink and I'm doing it all over again. Trust me, it's not fun whatsoever.
I am sure you're reading a bunch of these comments that might **** you off and it's not what you want to hear (not that they are not true).
But the hungover, the pain, the self loathe, the depression, it's sooo time and energy-consuming. And let's not lie to ourselves, you know you'll need to hop into the wagon again, it's not like "we're cured".
My point being is that, regardless of its worth or not, climbing the ladder again and going through allll of that is so energy-consuming, hard and boring... that why even bother taking just a drink.
P.S: I did the stupid thing of taking that drink and I'm doing it all over again. Trust me, it's not fun whatsoever.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: California
Posts: 2,722
I've been to two funerals for those who thought they could 'have one drink' or one toke. There were two others that died from 'going back out' whose funerals I heard about after not seeing them in the rooms for awhile.
If you are a real alcoholic as described in the Big Book, you may not have one more sobering up. I know I don't.
If you are a real alcoholic as described in the Big Book, you may not have one more sobering up. I know I don't.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
Hi and welcome CuriousCat
first off trust me - there's never just one...
don't confuse abstinence with control - I have a decade plus of abstinence but I'm under no illusions that one glass would be enough for me.
When I stopped drinking I knew I'd have to do more than just not drink cos drinking had become my go to solution for everything
not feeling good...drink...feeling good...drink...bored drink...resentful drink...got a problem drink...tough day drink.
I knew I had to find healthy ways to deal with all those things I used to drink over.
Sounds like you might be at that point too?
Whatever you want to drink over - how else could you deal with it?
D
first off trust me - there's never just one...
don't confuse abstinence with control - I have a decade plus of abstinence but I'm under no illusions that one glass would be enough for me.
When I stopped drinking I knew I'd have to do more than just not drink cos drinking had become my go to solution for everything
not feeling good...drink...feeling good...drink...bored drink...resentful drink...got a problem drink...tough day drink.
I knew I had to find healthy ways to deal with all those things I used to drink over.
Sounds like you might be at that point too?
The last week has been an emotional turmoil rollercoaster for me and I have been craving that feeling a glass of wine can give.
D
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