braebear

He y'all...today is day 20! Woohoo! So, just checking in today, but have many questions! Not looking for medical advise, but just opinions. First...do y'all have bouts of just "sleeping"? I slept most of the past 2 days...was awake a total of 9 hrs combined. Sleep, then up for maybe 2, then sleep. Just odd for me. Second....do you have a significant other who just doesn't get it? At all? Hubby is pissed cause I just wanted to sleep all weekend. He is definitely ignorant to the whole alcoholism thing...he thinks I can just let it go and I'll be ok. His Dad gave up smoking like 40 years ago with no issues, so I can give up drinking. So, if his Dad can walk away, so can I. Addiction, in his mind, is just don't do it. 3 years ago, while I was on my many quitting sessions, he went to an Al anon meeting, at my insistence. Well, he ended up telling them all that they were weak, and that they had no idea what was going on in their lives....ended up in actual blows. I have had good days, and bad days, to which he has said to get over myself and move on. You don't drink anymore, so you are perfectly fine. My Dad overcame addition, so what is your problem? I'm at a loss. Tried to get him to a new Al Anon meeting, and he refused. Help!!!

BackandScared

Not sure what to say. If your husband has not suffered an addiction and his only reference is his dad, he might not get it. Lucky him. You cannot make other people understand something they have never experienced.

I would not try to make him 'get you'. He is not to blame for this. He does not need to empathize with you, but sympathise. If you can, draw your boundaries. You need to focus on your recovery and things that work, not a fight.

Perhaps let him know what you feel would work in terms of support in case he is willing to provide it.

BackandScared

And massive congratulations for reaching the end of the third week.

biminiblue

I think a lot of us (men especially, although I'm female) are raised with a, "Just get on with it," attitude. I can see value in that mindset on a lot of levels, and I also know that recovery takes time.

If this is his opinion, so be it. You are the one in recovery...if you need support, come here! We get it.

Well done on 20 days. I slept a lot too. Maybe just ignore his opinions as much as possible and carry on doing the right thing. It's definitely not worth an argument.

Lucinda2

Braebear, 20 days is awesome. I think that re-set thing takes everyone differently. I can be pretty tired when I quit but always find upping my water intake along with a good multi-vit helps. But everyone is different and it takes everyone differently. I think it is pretty normal for body to be a bit all over the place physically right now.

Ref: your husband, doesn't sound terribly empathetic and doesn't sound like much you do is going to change that. It might just take him a while to believe that you are really doing this thing though. In the meantime, you have all of us.

Anna

Congratulations on 20 days of sobriety!

My suggestion is to stop trying to make your husband understand. It's really difficult for others to understand alcoholism. That's one of the reasons why SR is a great place. We do understand.

bodhi01

Hey, I'm on day 21 and I am tired all the time. I could sleep and sleep. Just part of the process I guess :-)

C0ntr0ls

I'm on day 19 and lucky to get 4.5 hrs a sleep even with OTC sleep aid help.
And I won't derail this by talking about constipation. lol

SoberRican

Hey you good job on the 20 I remember your day one post. Thays super cool. Far as hubby let him belly ache all he wants its just words. You are doing great. Dont let him knock you off your square feel me. I am at day 81 today. Unreal😁 keep coming back

Callas

I don’t think anybody who has not been in our position actually “gets” it. Best wishes to you. In this struggle we are mostly alone.

August252015

I'm just going to chime in on the early days and exhaustion - I was so, so, so tired! In every way - and while my sleep was torturous at night, I had this immediate.need.to.lie.down many days.

I found that our bodies need time, and one sober day after another. Keep going- 21, 22...you can do this. Glad you are here to talk to us.

mariposa

Hawkeye13

Ditto the above--I needed to sleep huge amounts in early recovery when I finally could sleep (Insomnia was a significant problem in withdrawal for me).

You are doing a great job. Just keep doing the next right thing and know you are not only helping heal you, but heal your family even if hubby doesn't get it. . . and he won't if he's never been an addict.

Dee74

hows it going braebear?

D

Misssy2

If this were my "husband" I honestly would need to get away from him as I recovered..I could not listen to someone downplay my struggle with addiction or my issues with my health (like not sleeping).

I would tell him he is unsupportive and to keep his "Dad quitting smoking" comments to himself as they are not helpful to MY recovery.....

I would sleep when I needed to sleep and be awake when I was awake..I would tell him I'm sorry but we DISAGREE largely on this topic....If you don't believe in Alanon that is fine....but millions of people do...and I have to stick with people that support me.....

So if you want to treat me this way..sleep in the other room because I am going to be sober....I am going to talk about being sober...and if you can't handle it...than find a way to deal....and I will find people that understand what I am going thru.

The fight is REAL. You can't make anyone see your view....But you always now have to put sobriety first...I left a 22 year marriage in 2005 because my spouse ….I just couldn't stay sober and be with him as he was basically the same way.

least

Early recovery can be a bumpy ride sometimes. If you need more sleep and can get it - go for it.

braebear

Going good Dee! Still sleeping alot, but my appetite is leveling off now, thank goodness! Hubby will never change his thinking, so onward & upward!!

Dee74

Even when spouses are relunctant to give support doer whatever reason, there's always support here



D