magnum102

Day 5 for me, feeling lonely, my gf was my only friend I had here and she cheated on me and left. How do you guys deal with loneliness. I'm not going to drink, but feeling pretty lonely/isolated. I think it might just be miss my ex and something I just need to adjust too, but it feels pretty bad. I need to learn to be alone and be ok with it i guess. I was with her for 3 years stopped contact with her 5 days ago so it really hasnt been that long.

least

I'm sorry you are feeling so lonely. I hope you can find something to occupy yourself and perhaps meet some new people.

magnum102

Ya I think its not having a job yet, even though I had good interview today. Maybe missing ex, even though she was bad gf. I dont normally feel like this. Thanks for the hug lol. Just adjusting to being alone and alone and sober.

Sober369

Hey Magnum. Loneliness is an awful feeling. I get it, too. It's not just being with people, but having a close connection. I don't have any good advice, sorry. But I will say that you are not alone (no pun intended) in this, and staying sober while you find the solution is the best ever idea.
I have a puppy and a grandson that help me not to feel so lonely. It's still not the connection I know you're talking about, but for now, it helps.

magnum102

thanks, I guess everyone gets lonely. I'm sure ill snap out of it. Like you said you can be with a bunch of people and still feel lonely. thats life i guess

Sober369

It's not everyone's life though. I think most people have someone who will notice pretty quick if they were to disappear, or who will care to hear about the ups and downs we're having, and care what happens to us.
I have to remind myself that it's my drinking, which leads to my isolating, not wanting anyone to really know me, wanting to hide in my room and drink, that leads to me having no close connections with others. Staying sober will give me the opportunity to gain close connections with others down the road.
I think it will take me a while, though. So, the puppy and the precious grandson are, I think, God's way of helping me manage until I am able to form those kinds of connections.

Misssy2

Its hard to get thru something like this...a broken relationship and stopping drinking...they could be TWO addictions or "habits" your trying to break at once.

I know that it can be done because I am doing it....but it is not easy...loneliness is frustrating also because I don't really want to be with anyone else...I don't want to be with my X very bad for my sobriety and I don't want to be alone.

I think I know how you feel....But if I drink I feel like I don't look like I have strength or that I can grow without "him" ...Its been a month since I got sober...and 5 days since i told him he is in the X category.....its hard but it is doable...I am growing from it and finding out WHO I AM.

FreedomCA

magnum102

totally, a lot of other people have told me how losing a significant other can give you like withdrawals, no one to cuddle with, talk to. I became almost addicted to her making me happy and seeing I have an addictive personality I think it can be harder for people like us to move on from relationships even if they were bad relationships. Lol its not like I had a good relationship with alcohol, but for like 5 years we have been breaking up and getting back together. Its actually pretty interesting if you think about it.

magnum102

I live in Daly City, the meetings closest to me are in San Francisco I dont have a car so it's kind of a pain to get there, but I should make an effort. I actually have to move beginning of next month I should move back near SF State I dont like it here. Moved here with Ex no reason for me to stay its not even cheaper here in daly city than near SF state.

Dee74

I did a lot of volunteering - it didn't make me any life long friends but I did get used to getting out amongst people again. I also pursued hobbies and interests I had.

I went out as much as I liked - just not to anywhere where alcohol was around - picnics, cafes, walks, museums art galleries.

Posting here made me feel less lonesome too.

This is your first week magnum - things will get better - this is not the best it gets

D

magnum102

I feel better already reading all the responses serious. I always hear about volunteering. How do you find a place to volunteer? There a website with different volunteer opportunities or something?

desertkid

The key to not feeling lonely is to feel needed. Get involved in something where people are counting on you. I'm single and have no kids but I love my job because I'm constantly reminded that I am needed there. That's what keeps me going.

SoberRican

Hey man I feel you. I just got a divorce after 23 years.i sacrificed a lot. But instead of dwelling I did something about it. Do something for yourself to make you feel good about you. If you have a booze problem nip that in the butt . things will start to get better. Dont let anyone steal your joy. Keep coming back

least

I would just google "volunteer opportunities in your town" See what comes up. Animal shelters and food banks/kitchens always need help. You'll be giving back to your community and getting out of your own head for a while.

magnum102

cutting out booze, trying to get in the best shape ive been in and looking into different career opportunities. Once I cut the booze other things start to fall into place. I broke my 2 years sobriety with my ex. While we were dating she admitted she thinks she is alcoholic too, so we were just enabling each other. Probably good she cheated and it ended.

Dee74

what least suggested is what I did magnum

D

magnum102

Ill look into it tomorrow thanks! or maybe tonight lol why not.

WaterOx

I'm often available in the chat room. Drop in and say hello sometime

magnum102

hey ya im in there quite a bit too, watching a movie now, but keep pausing to look on here lol. John Wick 3 lots of action so far