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Day 1

Old 07-22-2019, 08:08 AM
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Day 1

Posting for accountability and honesty. Back at Day 1.

Caved with the alcohol Friday night at around 2 weeks in and then drank through a family weekend. I have been around enough to know addictions use any excuse so can't blame weddings/MIL's or anything else. .

I don't have anything major on now for a few weeks so can give it some time to concentrate on fixing a plan. Decided to try and keep the focus off alcohol and on other things. So I am re-instating exercise plan (i am fairly active anyway), working on not spiking blood sugars with food swaps etc.

Trying not to project too much about the fact that we are going on holiday with friends for 10 days in 6 weeks time. In holiday mode they will be drinking every day and we are sharing accommodation. Projecting can be a way of giving up before I start though. So guess I need to keep the focus in the day. If I can keep focused now then I could be pretty strong by then.

Feeling pretty low but have also been around long enough to know that drinking for 3 days, even moderately, makes me feel this way. It is strange what I consider moderate these days anyway.

Not much needed here from anyone. Just putting it here for my own accountability and mainly talking to myself.

Thank you
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Old 07-22-2019, 08:29 AM
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You say you don't need much from anyone on here but the fact you have posted means you obviously need to tell someone about how you feel and what is going on.

I know it can't be easy admitting you have "slipped" and have, what is obviously going to be, a difficult situation coming up but as you said focus in the day. Get through one day at a time, it doesn't matter how you do it or what anyone else thinks or does, be selfish in your desire to not drink. You will ultimately be better for it and become the person that you would like to be.

You can do this. Never doubt that.
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Old 07-22-2019, 10:06 AM
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Originally Posted by Livingonwishes View Post
You say you don't need much from anyone on here but the fact you have posted means you obviously need to tell someone about how you feel and what is going on.

I know it can't be easy admitting you have "slipped" and have, what is obviously going to be, a difficult situation coming up but as you said focus in the day. Get through one day at a time, it doesn't matter how you do it or what anyone else thinks or does, be selfish in your desire to not drink. You will ultimately be better for it and become the person that you would like to be.

You can do this. Never doubt that.
Thank you. You are right.

I guess I would never have found my way to this forum in the first place if things were ok and I didn't need help.

I think because I cleaned up from long-term drug use on my own many years ago I find it hard to ask for help now. But in some ways, alcohol is harder than cleaning up from drugs - or at least it is different.

When I finally stopped using drugs I cut every bit of my old drug-related life out and ceased contact with practically everyone I knew. They weren't friends anyway. They were simply drug acquaintances.

But with alcohol, it is different as you will all know.
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Old 07-22-2019, 10:45 AM
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Vacations always throw me off, and end up bad because of drinking. It’s very difficult early in sobriety unless you go on a trip with non drinkers. I have to reassess my vacation plans also. I’m going to have a few months of just work and no travel options and it will be a great time to get my sobriety muscles back. I’m here with you Lucinda and we can make the effort to stay on track together. Stay close.
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Old 07-22-2019, 12:04 PM
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Originally Posted by Lucinda2 View Post
Thank you. You are right.

I guess I would never have found my way to this forum in the first place if things were ok and I didn't need help.

I think because I cleaned up from long-term drug use on my own many years ago I find it hard to ask for help now. But in some ways, alcohol is harder than cleaning up from drugs - or at least it is different.

When I finally stopped using drugs I cut every bit of my old drug-related life out and ceased contact with practically everyone I knew. They weren't friends anyway. They were simply drug acquaintances.

But with alcohol, it is different as you will all know.
I am lucky to certain extent that I only ever dabbled in drugs and never had a problem. My only real vices were alcohol and cigarettes and I have been 8 months sober although still smoking, lol.

I attend AA meetings and I have to say that what you say about giving up drugs has been echoed many times in those meetings. Everyone who had a problem with both drugs and alcohol have said that stopping using was so much easier than stopping drinking.

I guess it's partly because alcohol is readily available and is always "in your face" in shops, but as you mentioned, you can remove those people from your life that helped facilitate drug taking but it is almost impossible to remove those people that you drank with. My own personal experience is that I have very understanding friends that won't drink around me but my family still drink and because of the effects alcohol had on my life I have to live with my parents who are both drinkers.

It's hard to deal with at times but just being selfish about myself and my recovery helps me get through. Like I said you have kicked the drugs and you CAN kick the alcohol, it won't be a bed of roses but you have an outlet on this forum that can give you the encouragement and support you need. If you just need a rant then this is the place to do it, I have done that more than once and had some amazing responses and words of advice.

Once you start believing you can it becomes easier to achieve!!
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Old 07-22-2019, 03:29 PM
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I'm sorry you drank Lucinda but it's good you came right back.
Being around other drinkers bough me undone a lot of times.

I stayed away from alcohol and drinkers for a while until I was sure that nothing or noone could sway me.

Are you thinking of things to add to your recovery plan?

D
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Old 07-22-2019, 06:18 PM
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Originally Posted by Lucinda2 View Post
Thank you. You are right.

I guess I would never have found my way to this forum in the first place if things were ok and I didn't need help.

I think because I cleaned up from long-term drug use on my own many years ago I find it hard to ask for help now. But in some ways, alcohol is harder than cleaning up from drugs - or at least it is different.

When I finally stopped using drugs I cut every bit of my old drug-related life out and ceased contact with practically everyone I knew. They weren't friends anyway. They were simply drug acquaintances.

But with alcohol, it is different as you will all know.
This was a very "humble" sober reply..I wonder how you would have replied to constructive criticism if you were drinking....
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Old 07-22-2019, 06:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Lucinda2 View Post
Posting for accountability and honesty. Back at Day 1.

Caved with the alcohol Friday night at around 2 weeks in and then drank through a family weekend. I have been around enough to know addictions use any excuse so can't blame weddings/MIL's or anything else. .

I don't have anything major on now for a few weeks so can give it some time to concentrate on fixing a plan. Decided to try and keep the focus off alcohol and on other things. So I am re-instating exercise plan (i am fairly active anyway), working on not spiking blood sugars with food swaps etc.

Trying not to project too much about the fact that we are going on holiday with friends for 10 days in 6 weeks time. In holiday mode they will be drinking every day and we are sharing accommodation. Projecting can be a way of giving up before I start though. So guess I need to keep the focus in the day. If I can keep focused now then I could be pretty strong by then.

Feeling pretty low but have also been around long enough to know that drinking for 3 days, even moderately, makes me feel this way. It is strange what I consider moderate these days anyway.

Not much needed here from anyone. Just putting it here for my own accountability and mainly talking to myself.

Thank you
Lucinda, I had big hurdle to jump (like your 10 day trip) very early in my sobriety. Rather than think of it as a doom’s day, try flipping it in your head. It’s awesome you have such a challenge, because if you can get through that, you know you can get through anything. So, in just six weeks and 10 days, you’re in clear waters!
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Old 07-23-2019, 09:02 AM
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Originally Posted by mariposa View Post
Vacations always throw me off, and end up bad because of drinking. It’s very difficult early in sobriety unless you go on a trip with non drinkers. I have to reassess my vacation plans also. I’m going to have a few months of just work and no travel options and it will be a great time to get my sobriety muscles back. I’m here with you Lucinda and we can make the effort to stay on track together. Stay close.
Thanks, Mariposa. I look forward to making the journey with you.
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Old 07-23-2019, 09:05 AM
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Originally Posted by Livingonwishes View Post


Once you start believing you can it becomes easier to achieve!!
Hmmm....I like this. I read the Allen Carr book last year and for a while there I believed I could. Did 4 months pretty easily until I didn't. You have given me food for thought there, thank you.
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Old 07-23-2019, 09:09 AM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I'm sorry you drank Lucinda but it's good you came right back.
Being around other drinkers bough me undone a lot of times.

I stayed away from alcohol and drinkers for a while until I was sure that nothing or noone could sway me.

Are you thinking of things to add to your recovery plan?

D
Thanks, Dee.

I have decided to focus on basics for a bit; sleep routines, remembering not to work all hours, to chill sometimes, exercise, diet and generally taking care of myself. The plan is to move the focus from 'not drinking' to 'improving living'. All while not drinking, of course.

Thank you for your un-ending support to everyone on this forum.
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Old 07-23-2019, 09:12 AM
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Originally Posted by Sohard View Post
Lucinda, I had big hurdle to jump (like your 10 day trip) very early in my sobriety. Rather than think of it as a doom’s day, try flipping it in your head. It’s awesome you have such a challenge, because if you can get through that, you know you can get through anything. So, in just six weeks and 10 days, you’re in clear waters!
I love this! Yes, I can flip this one for sure. This is really helpful, Sohard. Thank you.
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Old 07-23-2019, 09:16 AM
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Originally Posted by Misssy2 View Post
This was a very "humble" sober reply..I wonder how you would have replied to constructive criticism if you were drinking....
Thank you Missy2. This is very kind of you to say. Although I have to own that I am not very good at 'constructive criticism' even sober.

Livingonwishes' response did not come across as criticism on any level though so all is well.
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Old 07-23-2019, 08:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Lucinda2 View Post
Thanks, Dee.

I have decided to focus on basics for a bit; sleep routines, remembering not to work all hours, to chill sometimes, exercise, diet and generally taking care of myself. The plan is to move the focus from 'not drinking' to 'improving living'. All while not drinking, of course.

Thank you for your un-ending support to everyone on this forum.
my pleasure!
This link is a good one for recovery action plan ideas. Its worth a read

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)

D
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