I have the gift..thank God
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
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I have the gift..thank God
I just wish I could share it...You can't share the gift....the gift is somehow "acquired"..
For the past 6 years I have been overdosing on alcohol..in and out of hospitals..rehab programs....therapists...AA...you name it I tried to stop over and over...Last year I had 10 months but I didn't have the "gift".
I have no idea how the "gift" came to me but i had the same gift in 2005 and in 2005 I quit drinking for 8 years.
The gift is...My mind had a total change this time when I decided to quit...I was SURE I was not going to drink again...but in that sureness I felt and still feel a sense of profound happiness and peace when I think of alcohol.....I feel no pull toward alcohol...
I had the WORST day yesterday...and the thought of alcohol did not even come into my mind...and that is a HUGE gift.
I have read these pages for years and I have known since 2005...I can talk to people about alcohol and share what works for me...and people can talk to me and share what works for them....
But all those times I wanted to quit...I could not quit because my mind and body held on to that powerful desire to drink again someday...and I don't KNOW WHY.
And I don't KNOW why this time is different....and that is why I call it a gift....the gift is talked about in the Big Book as a psychic change.
Its true...my whole psyche has changed...I am confident in my self...(not just about alcohol)...I am able to handle more than I could before without breaking down emotionally...I am overall just happy all the time and grateful to be free from alcohol.
I wish I could give the gift away....I wish someone could have given it to me....Its something that comes from God I believe...or something inside your brain just all of a sudden clicks...and you are free from alcohol...
The last 30 days of my life without alcohol have been days that I feel OK with myself no matter what and that is something that is really a gift....
For the past 6 years I have been overdosing on alcohol..in and out of hospitals..rehab programs....therapists...AA...you name it I tried to stop over and over...Last year I had 10 months but I didn't have the "gift".
I have no idea how the "gift" came to me but i had the same gift in 2005 and in 2005 I quit drinking for 8 years.
The gift is...My mind had a total change this time when I decided to quit...I was SURE I was not going to drink again...but in that sureness I felt and still feel a sense of profound happiness and peace when I think of alcohol.....I feel no pull toward alcohol...
I had the WORST day yesterday...and the thought of alcohol did not even come into my mind...and that is a HUGE gift.
I have read these pages for years and I have known since 2005...I can talk to people about alcohol and share what works for me...and people can talk to me and share what works for them....
But all those times I wanted to quit...I could not quit because my mind and body held on to that powerful desire to drink again someday...and I don't KNOW WHY.
And I don't KNOW why this time is different....and that is why I call it a gift....the gift is talked about in the Big Book as a psychic change.
Its true...my whole psyche has changed...I am confident in my self...(not just about alcohol)...I am able to handle more than I could before without breaking down emotionally...I am overall just happy all the time and grateful to be free from alcohol.
I wish I could give the gift away....I wish someone could have given it to me....Its something that comes from God I believe...or something inside your brain just all of a sudden clicks...and you are free from alcohol...
The last 30 days of my life without alcohol have been days that I feel OK with myself no matter what and that is something that is really a gift....
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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I'm glad you're doing well Missy.
To me it's a gift too - but it's like a gift of something I need to nourish protect and maintain - if I stop taking care of my gift it just might die on me....
D
To me it's a gift too - but it's like a gift of something I need to nourish protect and maintain - if I stop taking care of my gift it just might die on me....
D
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 1,276
I absolutely agree this gift has to be protected...
AA is a big part of my protection for myself.....
Being kind
Being honest
Taking care of my mind and body.
Eating decent food.
All part of my maintenance program.
AA is a big part of my protection for myself.....
Being kind
Being honest
Taking care of my mind and body.
Eating decent food.
All part of my maintenance program.
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Los Angeles, Ca
Posts: 535
Originally Posted by Misssy2 
I just wish I could share it...You can't share the gift....the gift is somehow "acquired"..
For the past 6 years I have been overdosing on alcohol..in and out of hospitals..rehab programs....therapists...AA...you name it I tried to stop over and over...Last year I had 10 months but I didn't have the "gift".
I have no idea how the "gift" came to me but i had the same gift in 2005 and in 2005 I quit drinking for 8 years.
The gift is...My mind had a total change this time when I decided to quit...I was SURE I was not going to drink again...but in that sureness I felt and still feel a sense of profound happiness and peace when I think of alcohol.....I feel no pull toward alcohol...
I had the WORST day yesterday...and the thought of alcohol did not even come into my mind...and that is a HUGE gift.
I have read these pages for years and I have known since 2005...I can talk to people about alcohol and share what works for me...and people can talk to me and share what works for them....
But all those times I wanted to quit...I could not quit because my mind and body held on to that powerful desire to drink again someday...and I don't KNOW WHY.
And I don't KNOW why this time is different....and that is why I call it a gift....the gift is talked about in the Big Book as a psychic change.
Its true...my whole psyche has changed...I am confident in my self...(not just about alcohol)...I am able to handle more than I could before without breaking down emotionally...I am overall just happy all the time and grateful to be free from alcohol.
I wish I could give the gift away....I wish someone could have given it to me....Its something that comes from God I believe...or something inside your brain just all of a sudden clicks...and you are free from alcohol...
The last 30 days of my life without alcohol have been days that I feel OK with myself no matter what and that is something that is really a gift....
For the past 6 years I have been overdosing on alcohol..in and out of hospitals..rehab programs....therapists...AA...you name it I tried to stop over and over...Last year I had 10 months but I didn't have the "gift".
I have no idea how the "gift" came to me but i had the same gift in 2005 and in 2005 I quit drinking for 8 years.
The gift is...My mind had a total change this time when I decided to quit...I was SURE I was not going to drink again...but in that sureness I felt and still feel a sense of profound happiness and peace when I think of alcohol.....I feel no pull toward alcohol...
I had the WORST day yesterday...and the thought of alcohol did not even come into my mind...and that is a HUGE gift.
I have read these pages for years and I have known since 2005...I can talk to people about alcohol and share what works for me...and people can talk to me and share what works for them....
But all those times I wanted to quit...I could not quit because my mind and body held on to that powerful desire to drink again someday...and I don't KNOW WHY.
And I don't KNOW why this time is different....and that is why I call it a gift....the gift is talked about in the Big Book as a psychic change.
Its true...my whole psyche has changed...I am confident in my self...(not just about alcohol)...I am able to handle more than I could before without breaking down emotionally...I am overall just happy all the time and grateful to be free from alcohol.
I wish I could give the gift away....I wish someone could have given it to me....Its something that comes from God I believe...or something inside your brain just all of a sudden clicks...and you are free from alcohol...
The last 30 days of my life without alcohol have been days that I feel OK with myself no matter what and that is something that is really a gift....
Life is good
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
Relapse can be a part of addiction, and addiction is a medical illness.
“Once an individual becomes addicted, the brain rewires,” says Nikki Litvak, MA, LPCC-S, LICDC, the Associate Director of Counseling at BrightView. “Relapse is not a choice, but a potential part of the disorder.”
It’s really not about willpower.
“Most people wouldn't yell at a loved one who forgot their inhaler at home, and then had an allergic reaction as a result of their medical condition,” Litvak continued. So we shouldn’t do that when someone we’re close to experiences a relapse.
As someone with addiction progresses toward recovery, relapse can happen—just as symptoms can flare up during treatment for any other chronic disease, like diabetes or hypertension. But a relapse doesn’t mean someone has failed, or didn’t try hard enough.
“Once an individual becomes addicted, the brain rewires,” says Nikki Litvak, MA, LPCC-S, LICDC, the Associate Director of Counseling at BrightView. “Relapse is not a choice, but a potential part of the disorder.”
It’s really not about willpower.
“Most people wouldn't yell at a loved one who forgot their inhaler at home, and then had an allergic reaction as a result of their medical condition,” Litvak continued. So we shouldn’t do that when someone we’re close to experiences a relapse.
As someone with addiction progresses toward recovery, relapse can happen—just as symptoms can flare up during treatment for any other chronic disease, like diabetes or hypertension. But a relapse doesn’t mean someone has failed, or didn’t try hard enough.
Hi Missy,
Congratulations. Recovery is indeed a gift. Thank you very much for sharing.
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Originally Posted by desertkid
Beautiful post, Missy. So happy for you that you've been so strong for so long.
.I don't know why this time I feel empowered to change...where the last 6 years I have quit over 10 times and never felt this "free".
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Originally Posted by August252015
I'm glad you found your way back from 2005 to 2013- and the recent relapses.
Good job on 30 days- keep working that multi-part plan.
Good job on 30 days- keep working that multi-part plan.
If anyone gets that "done" feeling...don't ever let it go.
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I had the DONE feeling. I've worked very hard to know I won't wonder again, and just now added a level I need at this point- a therapist I can see weekly. I am overwhelmed with working in recovery and at my own, family things that could crush my spirit if I don't get some help.
Gotta keep that done feeling in a little corner of my mind.
Gotta keep that done feeling in a little corner of my mind.
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Sobriety is indeed a gift. Not everyone finds it. We are the lucky ones 😊. While you can’t give this gift to others, by you being here and sharing, you are helping others find it. Thank you, Missy! Keep going strong!
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Originally Posted by August252015
I had the DONE feeling. I've worked very hard to know I won't wonder again, and just now added a level I need at this point- a therapist I can see weekly. I am overwhelmed with working in recovery and at my own, family things that could crush my spirit if I don't get some help.
Gotta keep that done feeling in a little corner of my mind.
Gotta keep that done feeling in a little corner of my mind.
I am 55...so 40 years of counseling....and I still look forward to the time with my therapist...so good luck....I hope you like it.
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Originally Posted by Fearlessat50
Sobriety is indeed a gift. Not everyone finds it. We are the lucky ones 😊. While you can’t give this gift to others, by you being here and sharing, you are helping others find it. Thank you, Missy! Keep going strong!
I haven't had cravings since I quit a month ago....but I know they will come...and I just have to remember this feeling I have now is a precious gift...it has given me a foundation to STAY sober and that is what I AM going to do.
I gave this "gift" up 6 years ago after having 8 years of sobriety...taking for granted that I could just stop drinking again....NO...not that easy.....
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Originally Posted by tomsteve
have you worked the steps since ya came back,missy? if so, then to keep the psychic change do what it says on pg 85 and ya wont lose it again.
Hi..working the steps is not a "thing" that is just done....I participated in a "Step" Study group for 3 months back in 2008...
And working the steps is a daily ordeal....Yes I take an honest look at how I handle my daily affairs.
And daily I admit
Step #1 That I am powerless over alcohol...
Step 2..I knew God could help me return to sanity...
Step 3....On the day I put the drink down I turned my will and life over to God...
Step 4...take my inventory nightly and sometimes as the day progresses....
Step 5....Now if I do someone wrong or make a wrong decision I discuss with God and another person...
Step 6...I work on my defects of character...
Step 7....I'm always praying for help...
Step 8...not many people in my life...my list is always in my head....
Step 9...Some things I am unable to make amends for...when I can I do when the time is right..
.Step 10,,,I'm good at admitting when I am wrong (wish others in my circle were as well)..side note I am only good at this because of AA...
Step 11...Ask God daily to give me the strength to carry out his will not mine....
Step 12...Because of the way I live my life when sober...under the umbrella of everything I have learned in AA...I do practice all above principles in everything I do...and carry the message of sobriety, health and happiness to as many as I can on a daily basis.
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Originally Posted by Misssy2
I find therapists very helpful have had one since I was 15 if not weekly ...bi-weekly...I need to talk thru my thoughts with someone ALWAYS.
I am 55...so 40 years of counseling....and I still look forward to the time with my therapist...so good luck....I hope you like it.
I am 55...so 40 years of counseling....and I still look forward to the time with my therapist...so good luck....I hope you like it.
Now, the therapist (not an MD) is going to be a weekly add for the foreseeable future based on this being the toughest time in my emotional sobriety. I am excited- and knowing I needed this kind of help AND acting on it feels great.
Keep it up Missy!!!
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Originally Posted by August252015
Ha- yep, I've had them on and off for decades too! And the psychiatrist (who is one that also does the talk part not just meds) I have had since before I got sober has been invaluable. I saw her 2x a month for an hour and she even did stuff like see me in a crisis the first month when I got all confused about my meds and forgot what I had taken - we sat on her office floor and counted everything in each bottle to figure it out. Now I see her every 3 mo for a short talk and med check.
Now, the therapist (not an MD) is going to be a weekly add for the foreseeable future based on this being the toughest time in my emotional sobriety. I am excited- and knowing I needed this kind of help AND acting on it feels great.
Keep it up Missy!!!
Now, the therapist (not an MD) is going to be a weekly add for the foreseeable future based on this being the toughest time in my emotional sobriety. I am excited- and knowing I needed this kind of help AND acting on it feels great.
Keep it up Missy!!!
and I feel a big accomplishment for doing even little things like that.
Also you now have the "insight" to know what you need to feel better or be a better you...and while drinking I didn't CARE what was needed...all I needed was my next drink.
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