NicLin

Hello from Miami (hot hot hot),

Today I went to my first AA meeting after about 4 months. I had gone for two meetings before my trip to Australia and then feel into a deep hole.

I was really excited to be there, receptive to the message and open to the welcome I got. People were so nice and I made a new friend that I am going to a morning meeting with tomorrow.

I am going to go for the 90 meetings in 90 days, looking forward to breaking this habit and starting a new one.

Goodnight, going to bed happy tonight. I also received the sequel to The Alchemist (my favorite book) called Aleph (!!!!!) and can't wait to begin reading. My ex husband gave it to me with a thoughtful inscription. He is still my best friend and is so proud of me and will be a huge support for me throughout this process. I feel so grateful for that tonight.

Night!

Nic

Dee74

Sounds like an awesome start Nic

D

snitch

Well done. Sounds like you are ready to embark on a new life. I wish you all the best.

PeacefulWater12

Great start.

Misssy2

That FIRST CHIP is exhilarating...congratulations.

dpac414

DriGuy

Chips are a way of recognizing success. They are symbolic gestures. Symbolism is part of every human culture. Such gestures mean something to people both in the giving and receiving. It's true that the symbol is not as important as the success itself, and I accept that recognition as an important wisdom, but I don't think it warrants declining the gesture. After all, it's important to those who would bestow it, and these people are typically our friends.

In my original AA group, chips were passed out once a month on a special night with a lot of ceremony and speeches, always by a friend or sponsor who would pass a chip to a friend, and a short speech from the recipient was welcomed, but not required. We had cake and coffee, but the entire night revolved around celebrating success, not just those who got chips, but by the group as a whole. I loved it as a celebration of sobriety, and thought it was inspirational.

I've been to other meetings where chips are given out to anyone who announces a birthday or early 1 day, 1 month, etc event, but they were given out like some kid's allowance or a paycheck without all the pomp. In that case, the significance of the symbolism seemed diminished and not so inspirational to me.

SoberRican

Its awesome you are getting it crackin on the sobriety thing. Its a beautiful thing. Keep coming back

NicLin

Thanks so much everyone! Feeling good today, it definitely was exhilarating and I keep playing the tape back every time I think about drinking, which honestly has not been much. What I am truly thinking about in relation to my drinking is the deep meaning of the journey I am on. Unfortunately I don't have many distractions right now, but exercise and family and friends are keeping me busy in addition to looking forward to the meetings. I am excited to go to them and listen and see who I meet, what I gain from it.

I feel sensitively strong right now, if that makes any sense.

DriGuy, I love that celebration of success once a month idea, it sounds great and a good reason for everyone, not just those picking up to celebrate. I did feel lots of love picking up and I admire those who are doing it day to day, they are the true inspirations!

Good night, Day 4 done and ended it with a delish bowl of Ramen!

DriGuy

That's an excellent description of recovery, and I'm surprised you recognized it so early in the process. I'm 25 years into sobriety, and I still view my life change of years ago as something profound. We usually use words and phrases about joy, freedom, relief, and pride when we talk about recovery, but even those words usually don't fully describe the "deep meaning of the journey," which I think is profound. I've never used that description until today for fear of having people think I'm overly exaggerating the experience. But it is truly how I feel about it.

And while I'm on this kick, I can tell you that I have sometimes felt levels of gratitude in sobriety that approach "overwhelming." I think you're catching on fast. Stick with it. It's worth the ride.

August252015

Great job, great plan and keep us posted! You can do this, Nic.

Anna

Nic, Day 4 is great, and I'm glad you are ready for recovery.

NicLin

Tonight at my meeting I felt the urge to share after the speaker was done. I was the last hand up. Something in me told me to do stay down, it is my first time here, but I decided to surrender and go for it.

I spoke about how I felt surprised at myself, and proud. I have been using for almost two decades, blind to the issue. Last January was when I first was touched by my higher power. And I was off to the road to Now. I bought every book I could on Mindfulness and Meditation, Spiritualism. Since a young age, I have always felt their was something deep inside me that knew there was something more, something unexplainable and massive to my life. I realize now that I at that time, I was being given the gift of foresight to my issue and all of this work I was putting in, was preparing me for the surrender of my life.

I know that this is it for me, this is my last chance to live. I was a place where I was so close, I was scared of myself. So my brain broke. It broke apart and now I am able to re-sculpt it into the life I was meant to have without alcohol.

I am often confused at my awareness, it scares me actually to be so ready. I am definitely not trying to say I am there, but I am aware of everything...what I am feeling, what can happen, what I can do. Its weird!

This journey has been set in motion for a long time for me, as is the yearning for the meaning. This goes so deep for me, I have no choice but to fully embrace it.

Thanks for the encouragement! I will be on tomorrow.

Night!

PhoenixJ

Strength in unity,Nicl. So very well done.

DriGuy

For me, sharing at meetings is big. People can solve problems without it, but when things get really big, I need to share, and that goes for my joy and success as well as things that trouble me. In meetings, everyone is basically talking about the same problem, so people understand. They understand your suffering as well as your joy, and they won't trivialize it like even your best friends often do when it comes to your drinking.

And in meetings, you will pick up useful tidbits of help from people you might least expect it from. There is a thread of commonality that runs through the entire group.