How long trying before it stuck. Need some hope guys
Sick n tired
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 509
How long trying before it stuck. Need some hope guys
How long were you actively trying to stop before the penny dropped. I really need some hope as iv been trying for 6 years to its some good sober stints but I desperately want this to be over and gain total abstinence for rest of my life.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: New York, New York
Posts: 600
3 years. Finally realizing moderation was impossible. That a daily routine of morning exercise, gratitude, & the elimination of negative thinking is key for me. When things don’t go my way, adjusting my plan & resetting, knowing that sticking to this daily routine will allow me the opportunities a sober future holds.
It took me several months before I was finally sick and tired of waking up feeling horrible and hating myself. I finally got to the point where I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 405
I got my first DUI around Christmas 2006 if I remember correctly. After being released from jail, I got back to my apartment and poured out the rest of my liquor. Things just got real, I clearly had a problem and I needed to stop.
I ended up getting another bottle of liquor later in the evening.
When I was married my wife was begging me to quit drinking. I made an appointment with the doctor and he prescribed me some medication that is supposed to curb cravings (don't remember the name sorry). It did nothing for me.
When my marriage was falling apart I agreed to go to rehab in the summer of 2014, it was a six week inpatient program. I enjoyed my sober time and learned how sobriety was not abstinence but building a better life for yourself. It really was a great program.
When I got dropped off at the airport the first thing I did was get a double shot of whiskey at the terminal bar.
Another sobriety attempt followed by another relapse occurred and my current sobriety date is April 14th, 2017. So it was a little over ten years after I first gave credence to the idea that I would need to stop drinking completely.
With all that said I don't believe there is any relevance to the length of time. The only difference between now and those other times is that this time I truly and genuinely wanted it for myself. Part of me wanted to quit before but if I'm being honest what I really wanted was to be able to drink and have absolutely zero repercussions as a result of drinking. Not happening.
Once I accepted in my heart that the only answer was complete abstinence followed by a disciplined program of recovery was I able to quit for good.
I ended up getting another bottle of liquor later in the evening.
When I was married my wife was begging me to quit drinking. I made an appointment with the doctor and he prescribed me some medication that is supposed to curb cravings (don't remember the name sorry). It did nothing for me.
When my marriage was falling apart I agreed to go to rehab in the summer of 2014, it was a six week inpatient program. I enjoyed my sober time and learned how sobriety was not abstinence but building a better life for yourself. It really was a great program.
When I got dropped off at the airport the first thing I did was get a double shot of whiskey at the terminal bar.
Another sobriety attempt followed by another relapse occurred and my current sobriety date is April 14th, 2017. So it was a little over ten years after I first gave credence to the idea that I would need to stop drinking completely.
With all that said I don't believe there is any relevance to the length of time. The only difference between now and those other times is that this time I truly and genuinely wanted it for myself. Part of me wanted to quit before but if I'm being honest what I really wanted was to be able to drink and have absolutely zero repercussions as a result of drinking. Not happening.
Once I accepted in my heart that the only answer was complete abstinence followed by a disciplined program of recovery was I able to quit for good.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: S.E. MI
Posts: 1,025
The thing is, how long does one have to go without being unsober to mean it stuck. I figure you mean about 3 years as thats what I have seen is the popular answer in a poll on this site. So by that definition I am still trying to make it stick. This is my first attempt quitting since I started drinking everyday some time about 28 years ago. I think I made one day without drinking in that time because I was really sick. I have only made it 6 weeks so far so I'm not sure it that means it stuck or not but yea, first try 6 weeks so far. Hopefully it will stick.
I've been on the roller coaster of being sober and drinking again for over 10 years. I have had periods of sobriety that lasted a few days, a few weeks, a few months, 11 months once and 10 months another time. I'm on day 2 right now. It's not about waiting for the time to pass or reaching a destination. It's about working it one day at a time, everyday. Complacency has been my killer of sobriety every single time. Every time I stopped working on it, I relapsed.
I wish you all the best on your journey and I hope you can stay sober one day at a time for the rest of your life. You deserve it
I wish you all the best on your journey and I hope you can stay sober one day at a time for the rest of your life. You deserve it
I ask because I spent years, a decade at least thinking all it took to get sober was the decision to quit. It wasn't until I successfully quit that I realized what I was doing wrong.
Nothing.
By that I mean I was doing nothing to deal with my alcoholism, my coping problems, my esteem. I was trying to abstain from drinking rather that embrace recovery. Once I worked at living and loving the sober live, sobriety stuck.
As I write this, something else comes to mind, which I never thought about. It's not so much that I actively tried to stop, but simply just stopped. There was no lengthy transition between messing around and stopping. I just stopped. I still battled cravings for a short time, but not more than two weeks. The battle was still there during that time, but somehow in my mind, taking another drink was just off the table, no matter how much I wanted one, or how bad my day was, or how good I was feeling.
I guess I never really tried to stop until I stopped. It was a quick turn in life that I just made, not that there wasn't years of anxiety, self hate, and shame leading up to it. After that, the joy in sobriety just settled on me like a pink cloud. I had other problems, frustrations, and annoyances, but the joy of sobriety was always there, and if I had a bad day at work, I was still immensely grateful to be sober in spite of any other problem that I would have to deal with.
It really doesn't matter how long you have tried, or any of us really eve. If you really want today to be your first day of being permanently sober you can. It's a conscious choice that only you can make.
That doesn't mean it will be easy - or that you won't have to do a lot of things that you likely don't want to do. For a lot of people who cycle in and out of drinking I think they expect some magic transformation within days/weeks/months of quitting - but that's not the way it works. You need to make a plan and stick to it. And the plan will also need to include ways to address the underlying issues in your life that may be connected to your drinking. For me it was anxiety - and I hoped quitting drinking would solve it, but it didn't. I needed to address it as a distinct and separate problem.
So really, what happened in the past has no bearing on what you are capable of today. Whether or not addiction is a disease or condition or whatever you want to call it, it's one of the very few life threatening conditions that is 100% treatable if you want. Imagine if your doctor told you that you have a life threatening physical/medical condition but he had a cure that was 100% effective if you followed the plan - I bet you'd follow his or her advice.
That doesn't mean it will be easy - or that you won't have to do a lot of things that you likely don't want to do. For a lot of people who cycle in and out of drinking I think they expect some magic transformation within days/weeks/months of quitting - but that's not the way it works. You need to make a plan and stick to it. And the plan will also need to include ways to address the underlying issues in your life that may be connected to your drinking. For me it was anxiety - and I hoped quitting drinking would solve it, but it didn't. I needed to address it as a distinct and separate problem.
So really, what happened in the past has no bearing on what you are capable of today. Whether or not addiction is a disease or condition or whatever you want to call it, it's one of the very few life threatening conditions that is 100% treatable if you want. Imagine if your doctor told you that you have a life threatening physical/medical condition but he had a cure that was 100% effective if you followed the plan - I bet you'd follow his or her advice.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 1,614
For me it stuck after that last and final binge. Now I went cold turkey. Which is not recommended. I handed all my sickness to my higher power. I believe he knew in my heart I was ready. The withdrawals I endured put me over the edge. And that was 77 days ago. I take it one day at a time. Trust me you will know deep down when you ready. And then just do it. Keep coming back.
I first made the decision to stop drinking seven years ago, after abusing alcohol for three straight years. I was sober for seven months and then one night, without giving it much thought, I drank again. Seven more years of drinking with a month of sobriety thrown in here and there.
Next week I will be seven months sober again, but this time is different. I now profoundly appreciate the fact that, no matter how great I feel or how well life is going on any given day, I am one sip away from a downward spiral back into a miserable existence that I have absolutely zero intention or desire to return to ever again. That one drink that could flush everything down the toilet is always a short drive away, and sometimes within arm’s reach at social/family outings. And the wolf is always scratching at the door; I am extremely grateful every single night that I go to bed sober, and always hungry for the next sober day. If there’s one thing I learned during those years I struggled, it’s that I can never get complacent, and never become satisfied. Doing so could cost me everything.
It doesn’t need to take you any longer to get this right. You can choose to stop drinking today, and figure out how to move forward with your life without alcohol.
Next week I will be seven months sober again, but this time is different. I now profoundly appreciate the fact that, no matter how great I feel or how well life is going on any given day, I am one sip away from a downward spiral back into a miserable existence that I have absolutely zero intention or desire to return to ever again. That one drink that could flush everything down the toilet is always a short drive away, and sometimes within arm’s reach at social/family outings. And the wolf is always scratching at the door; I am extremely grateful every single night that I go to bed sober, and always hungry for the next sober day. If there’s one thing I learned during those years I struggled, it’s that I can never get complacent, and never become satisfied. Doing so could cost me everything.
It doesn’t need to take you any longer to get this right. You can choose to stop drinking today, and figure out how to move forward with your life without alcohol.
Sick n tired
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 509
Thank you everybody for your replies day 2 again here I go. I have to do this differently now iv so had enough. Feel like my life is slipping by in a cycle of having a drink feeling awful for a week 2 weeks etc getting a few weeks then bam do it all again. Never seeming to learn that every time I drink bad things happen to my mental health and my life. I have to put more effort into changing me it’s obvious now. Thanks 👍
Eve
the really difference for me between drinkign agaiun and not drinking again was effort.
I decided I was never going to drink again,
When I had a bad day and felt like drinking, or felt badly, annoyed, angry scared or sad I posted here for help - and I stuck around here until the urge passed.
I would also went for a walk, watch a favourite TV show, play some music, clean up my house.
I used the craving tips I often post, I used urge surfing and playing the tape through to the end - forcing myself to think past the desire to drink and remember how last time I drank turned out.
I basically committed to doing everything possible to not drink.
It worked.
D
the really difference for me between drinkign agaiun and not drinking again was effort.
I decided I was never going to drink again,
When I had a bad day and felt like drinking, or felt badly, annoyed, angry scared or sad I posted here for help - and I stuck around here until the urge passed.
I would also went for a walk, watch a favourite TV show, play some music, clean up my house.
I used the craving tips I often post, I used urge surfing and playing the tape through to the end - forcing myself to think past the desire to drink and remember how last time I drank turned out.
I basically committed to doing everything possible to not drink.
It worked.
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 1,276
Then pick up the battle against alcohol...fight with all you have...and soon you will start piling up accomplishments vs. failures and then you will realize you certainly made the right choice when you put down the alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 732
Everyone seems to be different, if someone had told me what a mess I would end up in five years ago I wouldn't have believed them. I have seen many stories on here over the years and thought to myself 'gosh if that was me that would be enough for me to stop'. But withdrawal, seizures and eventually 3 days on life support have made me scared enough to stop (I'm only about 80 days in). I never believed I would get that bad but it happened very rapidly after years of drinking and functioning.
I "thought" I was trying to quit for several years, I now see I was just messing about. I wasn't ready or willing to put the work in I needed to get sober and work my program to stay sober.
My quit stuck when I worked as hard at my quit as I did at my drinking.
Both are hard work, it's just about where I was willing to direct my work.
My quit stuck when I worked as hard at my quit as I did at my drinking.
Both are hard work, it's just about where I was willing to direct my work.
I also have a problem with starting and stopping. I have committed to a year of taking Acamprosate, to control cravings and am attending online AA meetings. I am 8 days in from my last drink. I am also trying to use meditation and yoga. If I don't make this happen, I will lose my family.
I really think for a lot of people, the "want" isn't actually there yet.
Is it difficult to quit? Yes.
Impossible? No, of course not.
It's just a decision, one time, that has to be backed up by every single other decision going forward. No matter what, no drinking.
Is it difficult to quit? Yes.
Impossible? No, of course not.
It's just a decision, one time, that has to be backed up by every single other decision going forward. No matter what, no drinking.
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