He’s packing
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He’s packing
hes packing and I’m sad but not devastated. All I can think of after 20 years is thus:
https://youtu.be/TO_UsNPrc_U
https://youtu.be/TO_UsNPrc_U
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Originally Posted by hopeful4 
I really do think it would be good for you to get away from this until he leaves. Do you have any other alternatives??
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Dazed......it is so important for you to have some kind of other human contact, during this pivotal time.....even if it is one friend that you can stay o n their couch or hang out on their back patio for a few days....
This is too hard to do the way you are doing it, right now...it is like torture, for you....
Alcoholism is too much of a Beast....please extend a bit of kindness/mercy for your own self...…
Maybe, also, call and talk to your father and family for some extra support....
Cry all that you need to...and, you probably need to, because You are grieving, right now, I believe....but, stay out of the house at all costs....
It won't stay like this, I promise, but, for tight now, you have to get over this particular "hump"....
Most all of us have been through this...and, it is sooo tough...and, we understand how your heart feels....
This is too hard to do the way you are doing it, right now...it is like torture, for you....
Alcoholism is too much of a Beast....please extend a bit of kindness/mercy for your own self...…
Maybe, also, call and talk to your father and family for some extra support....
Cry all that you need to...and, you probably need to, because You are grieving, right now, I believe....but, stay out of the house at all costs....
It won't stay like this, I promise, but, for tight now, you have to get over this particular "hump"....
Most all of us have been through this...and, it is sooo tough...and, we understand how your heart feels....
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,618
Yes please do take extra care of yourself. This is hard!
I would also recommend that you try to turn your thoughts a bit (I know, again, hard!).
Instead of thinking - 20 years and that's it! Try to think perhaps - we gave it a good shot. I did my best. I really tried. All those things are true too.
Also, he is not dying, he is moving. Who knows, somewhere down the road he may seek recovery, one just doesn't know.
But again, in the meantime, be kind to yourself.
I would also recommend that you try to turn your thoughts a bit (I know, again, hard!).
Instead of thinking - 20 years and that's it! Try to think perhaps - we gave it a good shot. I did my best. I really tried. All those things are true too.
Also, he is not dying, he is moving. Who knows, somewhere down the road he may seek recovery, one just doesn't know.
But again, in the meantime, be kind to yourself.
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Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 868
Originally Posted by trailmix
Yes please do take extra care of yourself. This is hard!
I would also recommend that you try to turn your thoughts a bit (I know, again, hard!).
Instead of thinking - 20 years and that's it! Try to think perhaps - we gave it a good shot. I did my best. I really tried. All those things are true too.
Also, he is not dying, he is moving. Who knows, somewhere down the road he may seek recovery, one just doesn't know.
But again, in the meantime, be kind to yourself.
I would also recommend that you try to turn your thoughts a bit (I know, again, hard!).
Instead of thinking - 20 years and that's it! Try to think perhaps - we gave it a good shot. I did my best. I really tried. All those things are true too.
Also, he is not dying, he is moving. Who knows, somewhere down the road he may seek recovery, one just doesn't know.
But again, in the meantime, be kind to yourself.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 868
I don’t really have any friends I trust. It would be gossip fodder for them. I don’t want to burden my kids and my dad is 90! I’m really all alone in this because I’ve isolated myself so much because of the drinking. I’m seriously depresed
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,618
Originally Posted by Dazedandconfus
I don’t really have any friends I trust. It would be gossip fodder for them. I don’t want to burden my kids and my dad is 90! I’m really all alone in this because I’ve isolated myself so much because of the drinking. I’m seriously depresed
There is nothing fun about this, nothing good about someone you had plans with taking off.
Remember though, the guy you loved wouldn't do this, he's changed.
There is an adjustment to be made here. Whether you two end up back together or not remains to be seen. In the meantime, it's time to look after yourself. There is an acronym, HALT - Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. Watch out for all of these. It's important right now because when you are feeling so down any of these can be missed - meals, proper sleep etc. If you don't really feel like eating, try to tempt yourself with something you love, whether that is ice cream or a bagel with cream cheese. Sleep when you can. All these things will help keep you on a slightly even keel.
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Dazed.....you would be surprised at how people would be responsive to you...if you just give them a chance. If you can call them "friend"....even an "old" friend....reach out to them in your need. after all, almost everybody has someone that they know is an alcoholic, or has one in their family...even if they haven't talked about it, openly.....
Do NOT let there be any excuse for not getting the human support that you need, right now!
In addition to reaching out to a friend...you can also call and talk to a domestic violence worker (you qualify) due to emotional abuse.....they will talk to you in a very understanding way and even offer help to you...you can talk to them 24/7.....
You can go to an alanon meeting , tomorrow.....they will understand, because they have walked in these same shoes....they understand, beyond mere words....
And, you have US, of course, but I think you need a human(s) close to you, right now.
We humans are wired to be very social...and, human contact is the most comforting and healing thing that there is!
I hear that you are depressed.....and, you can always call a hotline if you are freaking out, in the middle of the night...the hot line to the domestic workers or the suicide hotline...they exist to talk to and help you.....
There ARE options....you just have to reach out your hand...…
LOl...I don't care if your father is 90....he understood that you don't have to live like this. he sounds wise in that way....there is no age on compassion and caring....and, you need that right how!
Do NOT let there be any excuse for not getting the human support that you need, right now!
In addition to reaching out to a friend...you can also call and talk to a domestic violence worker (you qualify) due to emotional abuse.....they will talk to you in a very understanding way and even offer help to you...you can talk to them 24/7.....
You can go to an alanon meeting , tomorrow.....they will understand, because they have walked in these same shoes....they understand, beyond mere words....
And, you have US, of course, but I think you need a human(s) close to you, right now.
We humans are wired to be very social...and, human contact is the most comforting and healing thing that there is!
I hear that you are depressed.....and, you can always call a hotline if you are freaking out, in the middle of the night...the hot line to the domestic workers or the suicide hotline...they exist to talk to and help you.....
There ARE options....you just have to reach out your hand...…
LOl...I don't care if your father is 90....he understood that you don't have to live like this. he sounds wise in that way....there is no age on compassion and caring....and, you need that right how!
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I called the suicide hotline. It was very calming and informative. I’m in a cool crisp clean bed now, reading. I had delicious Mexican food for dinner. I’ll try to sleep soon and say a prayer for all my virtual social media friends here on SR. God bless you all for your kindness.
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Originally Posted by dandylion
Dazed.....you would be surprised at how people would be responsive to you...if you just give them a chance. If you can call them "friend"....even an "old" friend....reach out to them in your need. after all, almost everybody has someone that they know is an alcoholic, or has one in their family...even if they haven't talked about it, openly.....
Do NOT let there be any excuse for not getting the human support that you need, right now!
In addition to reaching out to a friend...you can also call and talk to a domestic violence worker (you qualify) due to emotional abuse.....they will talk to you in a very understanding way and even offer help to you...you can talk to them 24/7.....
You can go to an alanon meeting , tomorrow.....they will understand, because they have walked in these same shoes....they understand, beyond mere words....
And, you have US, of course, but I think you need a human(s) close to you, right now.
We humans are wired to be very social...and, human contact is the most comforting and healing thing that there is!
I hear that you are depressed.....and, you can always call a hotline if you are freaking out, in the middle of the night...the hot line to the domestic workers or the suicide hotline...they exist to talk to and help you.....
There ARE options....you just have to reach out your hand...…
LOl...I don't care if your father is 90....he understood that you don't have to live like this. he sounds wise in that way....there is no age on compassion and caring....and, you need that right how!
Do NOT let there be any excuse for not getting the human support that you need, right now!
In addition to reaching out to a friend...you can also call and talk to a domestic violence worker (you qualify) due to emotional abuse.....they will talk to you in a very understanding way and even offer help to you...you can talk to them 24/7.....
You can go to an alanon meeting , tomorrow.....they will understand, because they have walked in these same shoes....they understand, beyond mere words....
And, you have US, of course, but I think you need a human(s) close to you, right now.
We humans are wired to be very social...and, human contact is the most comforting and healing thing that there is!
I hear that you are depressed.....and, you can always call a hotline if you are freaking out, in the middle of the night...the hot line to the domestic workers or the suicide hotline...they exist to talk to and help you.....
There ARE options....you just have to reach out your hand...…
LOl...I don't care if your father is 90....he understood that you don't have to live like this. he sounds wise in that way....there is no age on compassion and caring....and, you need that right how!
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